Do they have a set routine for bedtime? Sometimes you just have to stick with the routine and have an attitude of letting them be in their room quietly (even if they aren’t actually sleeping). We also had our kids have quiet time, usually about 2hrs, where they had to be in their room and quiet, but didn’t have to sleep (that way there was no fight over it). Also, do they eat right before bed, what about TV? Is their room light or dark?
My youngest (the baby, age 1) simply gets a change and then a hug and a kiss, I say good night, and then turn on his musical dog (Scout, from LeapFrog).
My 3 and 6 year olds do pajamas, brush teeth and then climb into their beds. If its not too late they usually get read a story and I sing a short one or two songs. If its a little late, I’ll just sing. If its really late I don’t do either, but I turn on their musical animals (Scout and Violet, both from LeapFrog).
My 9 year old does pajamas and brush teeth, then just gets tucked in and I sing him a song.
We’ve told them that they shouldn’t come out unless its to use the restroom or if there is an emergency. Anything that can wait until morning should wait until then.