Keto Complaint Department

(Ren) #355

When you realize that you might have to buy a new wedding band 2 months after getting married.

My current thumb was the size of my ring finger 6 months ago…

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#356

The elastic waist on my shorts keeps sliding halfway up to my chest cuz my belly isn’t big enough to keep it in place. Good thing it’s almost winter (Wisconsin). Sucks I’ll probably have to buy new clothes when we go to FL in March.

(Bacon is a many-splendoured thing) #357

Had a fright last night–I was in the bathroom and happened to look down. I could see my feet for the first time in years, and there were these things at the end of them. Can’t remember the right word . . . think it might be . . . toes?

Also, I have no more excuse for leaving things on the floor, since bending over doesn’t hurt or keep me from breathing, dang nab it!

(Becky) #358

I haven’t seen my hunk of a chiropractor in over a year, because nothing hurts! Now who is going to flip me around?!?

(Mike Glasbrener) #359

Crap I’m tall again!

I walked into the pizza parlor to pick up a 'za for my son and wife, I’m fasting today. The waiter asks how tall are you? I say 6’4" or 6’5". He says “Really? I though you were taller.” The last time I wasn’t fat I got that all the time. It’s an aspect ratio thing…

(A ham loving ham! - VA6KD) #360

Whenever I sit down to eat. This is what happens.
EVERY! SINGLE! TIME!

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(Sophie) #361

Oh, I think that’s a genuine Dog Complaint, not a Keto complaint! LOL :wolf:

(Khara) #362

Photo caption:
“We know you’re Keto. We know you have meat.”

(Arlene) #363

Ah, yes. This same thing happens to my husband because he just can’t resist giving the dog “a little something” off his plate. The dog doesn’t do that to me because he knows he won’t get anything off my plate.

#364

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I am so happy and just feel so darn good, that I’m becoming the annoyingly happy person at work. I feel like Helen Madden (Molly Shannon) from SNL the licensed joyologist.

#365

Dear Keto, Quit putting me in awkward situations. A cashier actually thought me (48) and my daughter (28) were sisters!

(Susan) #366

@farmgirl Had to lol, my husband is surrounded by animals when he eats (we call them treat-monsters of his own creation, 3 cats, 1 dog) and I am not bothered even if we’re eating exactly the same things…benefit from rarely sharing :slight_smile:

#367

I just don’t fit in anymore. Everyone else at the grocery store stocking up for hurricane Irma had basketfulls of non-perishable chips, sodas, instant mashed potatoes, gold fish, and pop tarts. Then there’s oddball me with my canned salmon and oysters, dried salami, La Croix and butter.

(Jeremy Storie) #368

Yeah my wife asked me what I would eat if we lost power for a few days. I told her I would fast before eating carbage :grin:

(Bacon, Not Stirred) #369

Same. Damn keto. Before I could “run” about 40 feet before getting winded. After Keto, I’m now jogging two miles and not hating my life.

(Bacon, Not Stirred) #370

I think you mean chub rub. I’m going through much less deodorant now - that’s how I prevented my chub rub.

(Mike Glasbrener) #371

Love, love, love this!

(KCKO, KCFO) #372

MelTar, hope you are dry and safe. I’d rather be hunkered down with you than the gold fish, etc crowd.

#373

I know exactly what you mean

treats
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ps: pixelated the face cos I didn’t know if he was ok with me uploading his shame to the internet :joy:

(A ham loving ham! - VA6KD) #374

My better half made a massive Pavlova for a neighbourhood dinner last week. (Maybe the non-Aussies here might have to google what a Pav is!) There was about a dozen egg yolks left over and I was forced to eat them…oh the horror!

Edit: I was forced to eat the yolks, not the pav (but I still tasted a tiny bit of the pav though).