In the running for "World's Worst Salesman"


(Sheri Knauer) #1

So I was at Costco last weekend and they had those full body massage chairs there. I decided to hop in one for a “sample” massage. It’s one of those that includes the legs and feet. The guy sets me up and gets it going. After a few minutes, I tell him that it is squeezing my calfs too hard and could he adjust that so it didn’t feel like its going to pop my legs. He said," there must be something wrong with your legs because you are the only person that complains about it." Mkay. He tells me its on the lowest setting but then he makes some adjustment and it squeezes the legs less. Ok, fine. Then he starts talking to me about diet. I can’t remember why. I tend to have pale skin and he was telling me how he makes carrot smoothies because it brings out the glow in his skin. I thought his skin looked kinda orangy, you know, like the results you would get from that self tanning stuff in the 80’s, QT tan. I tell him I don’t eat carrots and he asked me what type of diet I eat and I told him I eat a ketogenic diet. He then said he pegged me for a vegan. I said, um, no. In fact I eat carnivore keto so I rarely eat any vegetables at all. So then he reaches underneath a table and pulls out a 10 gallon jug of exogenous ketones and starts telling me he just started selling them and would I be interested. I told him “no, I make my own, thank you”. He looked at me in disbelief and asked me how. “My body makes them by eating plenty of good fats and very low carb.” He said," Oh. I was wondering how you made it from urine. He was referring to back in the 1800’s when the urine from type 1 uncontrolled diabetics was collected and heated until some sort of ketone ash was left and made into exogenous ketones of some sort. I don’t quite remember the story. I told him no again, my body naturally makes it and I usually refer to exogenous ketones at ‘pee-tones’. He wasn’t thrilled with my answer. Needless to say I did not purchase his $9000 massage chair or exogenous ketones, lol.