Husband is irritating me

(Will knit for bacon. ) #1

I’ve been doing keto for a few months now and I feel amazing. Husband has been supportive for the most part and is glad I feel so much better but refuses to give up junk himself. Fine, his choice, I’m not going to nag him.

But he’s been fussing at me because I don’t bake anymore. I’ve tried using keto sweets recipes but I’ve decided to give up because frankly they taste like crap and I’ve noticed that even fake sweets make me feel not so great afterwards.

I see no reason why I should cook things I’m not going to eat. He says I should take pity on the rest of them (meaning him and our adult daughter) and supply them with baked goods. I pointed out that I did not pop out of the womb knowing how to bake and he could learn like I did if he wants brownies. He says I complain when he uses the kitchen. I agree that I do, because he doesn’t clean up after himself. He says if I don’t want the kitchen messed up I should handle the baking myself.

Just. Grrr.

Am I being unreasonable by refusing to spend my time baking crap that I’m not going to eat? He has more free time than I do. But he’s also blowing our grocery budget every month making multiple trips to the store for chocolate and root beer and white sandwich bread.

(Jay Patten) #2

He can bake his own.

'Nuff said.

(Full Metal Keto) #3

You aren’t a slave and your husband and adult daughter aren’t children. Your position seems reasonable. You might even suggest that you aren’t willing to contribute to his unhealthy lifestyle since he’s doing a damn good job of that on his own. Make sure and get yourself some quality :cut_of_meat: just for you! :cowboy_hat_face:

(John) #4

I don’t expect my wife to cook for me, and I usually make my own keto meals (and clean up the kitchen). Sometimes she does cook for me, or for both of us, though, which I greatly appreciate and thank her for.

So yeah, lay down the law. If he wants brownies, he needs to learn to bake brownies, and he had better clean up the kitchen afterwards.

(Scott) #5

Tell him to find something he likes on amazon and they will have it on the doorstep tomorrow.

(Jane) #6

Not unreasonable at all. And his argument that YOU should clean up the kitchen because you aren’t baking is crap. He messes it up - he cleans it up - you aren’t his maid.

What about your daughter? Can she bake and clean up also?

(Deborah ) #7

He needs to learn to bake for himself and stop acting like a 2-yr-old!

(I'll trade you my bacon for your cheese) #8

Well, it all depends on how you tell him “no”.

I’d tell him “no” by buying a bunch of Betty Crocker brownie mixes and leaving them dead center on the counter, with sarcastically large arrows pointing to the directions. Maybe even leave out the pan he should use.

(George) #9

I’d simply tell him to do bake his sweets himself.

I’m the cook in my marriage, and I do not have all the free time in the world, but I make it work, that includes the occasional keto sweets (mainly cheesecakes) my wife craves.

So, if he has the time and desire for baked goods, then he can Google simple recipes and go from there.

As far as kitchen messes goes, I would take whatever dirty dishes/pans, etc. he leaves behind, and place them on his side of the bed or on his pillow until he learns to clean up.

**Edit - If you have a 99 cent store near you, you can buy the prepacked pastries in bulk for cheap. Just heat them up in the microwave and make him think they’re homemade

(Keto girl living in a carby world) #10

Or perhaps he can be an adult and clean up after himself :thinking:

(Karim Wassef) #11

I’ve been on the other side - wife not big on keto and I’d like her to make keto desserts for the family… or else, I will.

The frustrating part is when she says “no” because I make a mess… so I promise to clean up but apparently, I don’t clean up well enough and she needs to go back over it… controlling much :joy:

Recommendation: let him make it, let him clean and teach him to clean to your satisfaction. And pray…

(George) #12

That’s my life…every single day…sometimes she’ll take a picture of a little oil splatter on the hood, text it to me, and say “ahem…what’s this??”


(Carl Keller) #13

I would tell them him that I won’t play a part in his metabolic syndrome but if he wants to feed his addictions at a wholesale price, he can bake them himself. The only rule is simple:

Leave the kitchen how you found it. If I can look at the counters and sink and know what was made, then you will have failed the only rule.

(CharleyD) #14

No, you’re setting a good example.

(Karim Wassef) #15

What’s wrong with store bought brownies if you’re an addict?

(Raj Seth) #16


(Carl Keller) #17

At least with homemade stuff, you can avoid the nasty preservatives and cheap fillers that Big Food uses in junk… but yes, the end result is the same as far as pacifying a craving goes.

(Karim Wassef) #18

If $$$ are a concern, the cost of disease is 100x the incremental cost of premade brownies

Overall… it’s going to be insignificant

(Karim Wassef) #19

Sugar vs corn syrup… long term… disease

(Graci) #20

There’s definitely some struggle in following Keto WOE solo in a multi-person household. I am the only one out of 5, but I have been slowly transitioning our youngest kids towards Keto-ish eating…I still make King Arthur’s gluten free brownie mix for them, but overall bake much less. I used to bake fresh bread, pastries, cakes, etc regularly, and realize it’s an adjustment for everyone. It doesn’t sound like a dilemma where it tempts you, more of a general power struggle that just happens to land on “baking” chores lol…if you’re not trying to convert them and it’s not a moral conflict, maybe you can teach your daughter to make a couple of recipes that are their favorites and then leave it up to them. Sometimes what is missed isn’t really the food, but the act that they learned to associate with affection and love :heart: