I know I can lead by example, I know I can’t force anyone to change the way they eat, I know I can only lead a horse to water but I’m so frustrated with my husband and his health issues!! I feel like I’m a horrible person by being angry but I’m nearing the breaking point. My husband has digestive issues that no one seems to be able to figure out, he’s angry and frustrated which is absolutely understandable but I feel like he takes it out on me and the kids to a degree which is not excusable. As well he states he’s tired of all these issues but apparently not enough to really listen to anything I might have to offer about keto or low carb. He fully expects some doctor to fix it all with a test or a pill, he doesn’t understand why he can’t eat the way he’s always eaten. A lot of it is stress which is exacerbated by a high carb diet. He’s had stress related pain before, it took a MRI to convince him that there was nothing physically wrong but he doesn’t buy it now because he’s had scopes that show he does have what essentially is an allergic response which low carb/keto would help. He’s getting a food intolerance panel done which I hope will help. I don’t know how else to help him.
How do you manage a reluctant spouse?
Get a book on the Keto Diet for him. Some people need some gentle nudging to ease into it. If he sees your results, he’s more likely to join you.
I’m sorry. That is a hard one. I cook for my family so he eats what I make. I throw away all foods containing sugar, grain or vegetable oils-which was a lot. I talked my hubby into watching the magic pill and the science of fasting. He got on board after that. He was able to stop blood pressure, diabetic and statin prescription. Sending good vibes your way. I hope over time you are able to help.
I HAD to get my spouse on board because he does all the cooking! And he loves his breads and sweets. And hates low carb. Or at least he did.
He figured it was a fad and I would give up and go back to “normal” eating.
But to his credit… grumbling and complaining…he did keto with me. And now he won’t go back because he has experienced the reduced inflammation first hand.
Maybe you can get him to agree to “try it” for 90 days? That should be long enough to get him fat adapted and start reaping the benefits. But he has to commit to 90 days. No half-asssing it!!!
If he feels it is a “trial” and he can go back to his beloved carbs then he might give it a go. And hopefully he will start to heal and feel so much better he won’t want to.
Good luck!
My boyfriend doesn’t take things out on me, and we don’t have children, and he tries alternative medicines rather than doctor-prescribed ones. But everything else is almost word for word the same. Mysterious digestive issues, pain, stress, depression, and has had every test under the sun.
Most of the food he likes is fake, packaged, or processed. He says he doesn’t like chicken, but he asks for canned chicken soup (full of corn starch) and chicken fingers. He says he can’t eat pork or beef, but he’s addicted to pepperoni and hamburgers (as long as the burgers aren’t made at home). Other than that he lives on chips, candy, and ice cream, plus a few things (like kefir and pine nuts) to ease his stomach pain.
I’m sorry to say that I’ve given up even cooking for him on a regular basis, because he prefers the processed products and I can’t compete with them. I do cook for him maybe once a week just because. He is thin and has lost more weight since I stopped cooking for him.
Having said that, I do believe we can lead by example. I don’t drink or smoke, and he has cut back on these and wants to quit altogether. He also has friends who quit, which helps to inspire him.
In a previous situation I cooked low-carb foods, and the person I lived with ate the same as me, only with added potato, bread, or whatever (he also liked my low-carb desserts). If you can do this, your husband might decide someday that he doesn’t need the potatoes or bread. If not, maybe someday he’ll just see how much better you’re doing and come on over.
So, if it were me, I’d stop fighting it, and try dealing with the family issues some other way. Keep doing your own thing and hope he catches on. I hope it works out for you. And him!
I do the cooking so the man eats what I eat. I do however still cook him one side that I do not eat. Even with him eating his small potato or noodles he has noticed significant improvement in his digestive issues. Today he opted for the steak and veggie only. Maybe small steps may work with your husband as well. If he starts feeling better he may decide to eat keto 
.
I wish you luck!
I do the cooking too but still I buy processed stuff for him because I can’t stand his passive aggressiveness. It’s not like it’s abuse per se but that kind of mind game crap I hate. Our kids are better with their food choices and I think they are pretty healthy. I have gotten my daughter off eating crackers and strawberry flavoured milk daily so I’m making headway there. Thanks for the suggestions and support!!
Leading by example is the only option as any attempt at convincing someone to change will be met with resistance and that will make it even harder long term.
If my boyfriend wants me to cook for him then he eats keto and admits he enjoys it, but he’s an addict (alcohol, sugar, junk food, prescription meds) with mental health issues and puts all his faith in medication, doesn’t believe in managing health with lifestyle at all, doesn’t believe in taking responsibility for his own health and well-being, and his health is awful (both physically and mentally). You can’t force someone to make changes they’re not ready to make.
@Shortstuff yup my husband is the same, thinks medication or surgery is the answer to everything yet at the same time hates taking pills! Yeah I know real change has to come from within, it can’t be imposed from outside but at the same time so frustrating because I’m positive keto would help
@islandlight I’m interested in CBD oil, has he tried that given his interest in alternative medicines? It’s supposed to be quite good for digestive issues
@islandlight I’m interested in CBD oil, has he tried that given his interest in alternative medicines? It’s supposed to be quite good for digestive issues
@SunburstJen
I know he has tried it topically (on skin); he didn’t give a clear answer when I asked why he doesn’t use it any more. I guess like most things it didn’t work for him, or maybe it isn’t readily available. He has talked about trying other cannabis products when it becomes legal in Canada in October. I don’t follow the news but it looks like the legalization process might be complicated.
I understand how frustrating it can be to watch someone you love do things that are bad for them and/or cause problems for other people. But people who live with alcoholics and the like, come to learn that trying to convince them just leads to resistance and more problems. I believe that being happy and healthy yourself is the best thing you can do for him. Good luck!
How do you manage a reluctant spouse?
I don’t. I do what I have to for me and let the results speak for themselves. The person whom I married for both looks and brains eventually gets it and hops on.