Help, Wife is ashamed/disgusted with herself after my small weightloss

(Eddie Trevino) #1

I dont know what to do, I have given her a lot of information along with all the stuff on the web that I read before I started IF and keto. She did try after all of her rudeness of me and my carb watching/counting I guess I was a drag on going to dinner or having dinner at home and being unable to eat most things we ate on a daily. Anyways she gave up on keto and said that she can just do IF Problem is she does not eat the right stuff after her 16-18hrs of fasting. After her break she will eat practically anything she wants, how can I re introduce the idea that keto and IF should be used together for optimal results. She does not like eggs, will eat just the egg whites, she does not like bacon unless I make it crispy and always eating my weekly stash that I pre make. Any NICE ideas to use or methods I should say. I know she does not read everything I send her, I cant get her to sit down and listen to Dr Fungs books (I have the audio books) I know she can do this, I just have to find the right words to keep her motivated. I told her to do what I did and buy a smaller size outfit (clothes of any type) as for a goal to fit into. Anywho lurker first time poster here.
Thanks for reading and sending me any thoughts and words of wisdom on here.

Ed

(She had one feck to give and that feck is gone.) #2

Stop trying to convert her. Lead by example. Say nice honest heartfelt things you love about her. You can only change yourself. Leave her be.

My husband is the same. Will do IF but not Keto. His own idea. I make Keto plus add on’s for him and kids. He knows he has insulin resistance, but he has to figure it out for himself. He does notice my progress and says it’s really motivating. He looks smokin’ to me whatever he chooses to do though :grin:

(Boston_guy) #3

If she’s eating your weekly stash of bacon, make more - or make hard boiled eggs for yourself as snacks :slight_smile: Bacon is on the path…

(Leon C) #4

Hey Ed, hope you’re well.

I’m in a similar position to yourself right now, but my wife isn’t jealous of my weight loss - she’s just not very supportive or interested in my daily meals and decision to dedicate myself to Keto.

One day she will say “I’ll eat whatever you are eating” but then raid the cupboards hours later for crisps or chocolate!

I think the moral of the story here is that, you shouldn’t feel guilty for doing well and losing weight - she had/has the choice to join you, but if certain dislikes to foods is preventing her from eating the same meals as you, is she aware of the alternatives? (Nuts, etc)

As the lady said above - don’t try to convert her, but also don’t let her stop you on your path to being a Keto Master :slight_smile:

Good luck!

(Dan Dan) #5

Keto is fun !!! So make it fun !!! If she wants egg whites and crispy bacon make it with lots of butter :smile::bacon::heart_eyes::egg:

have fun finding food you both like that is Keto like salami and cheese (my favorite) :heart_eyes::cheese:

“May the Force (fat adaption) be with you”

IF/EF Keto WOE is Self-Discovery :wink:

Good luck and much success in your journey in IF/EF Keto WOE :grin:

(Rob) #6

Exactly, keep making bacon and make sure you don’t run out! Most of us will take the path of least resistance, so make it convenient to take the Keto options. One aspect of why high carb foods have been so successful in our lifestyles is their high convenience factor.

#7

Shame is not healthy. While it is excellent that she is trying to lose weight, and you are terrific for helping her on her journey, whatever her current weight she is of value as a person.
I agree with Jezza, lead by example, but maybe also try to convey that despite any struggles or setbacks, there is no need for shame.

(Consensus is Politics) #8

Is she diabetic yet? Notice I said ‘yet’. The Standard American Diet is a road to diabetes. Before a few months ago when I was Dx with T2D, I knew about Ketosis. I knew about the way of eating. I knew it was good for weight loss. That about summed up my knowledge of it. Then I became diabetic. Out of the blue my blood sugar was at deadly levels. I didn’t know. I felt fine. It was caught just in time. I should have been in a coma.

Most people don’t really care about this stuff until it slaps them in the face. Like it did me. I looked hard and deep into this demon. I saw very clearly for the first time how truly ignorant we all are. It sounds conspiracy theory like, but looking at it with an open mind, it’s unbelievable how sugar is in almost everything. And how much damage it causes our bodies.

If she is having a hard time with Keto, then she’s doing something wrong. First, don’t think of it as a diet. Most people take the term diet out of its correct context and make it an action we take, that includes eating less. Eating Keto you can actually eat more. Just don’t eat carbs. She might just have to go carb free for a while. Just read through this forum. You are going to see example after example of how someone thought they couldn’t do it, and how they were just making it more complicated than they had to. Do it the simple way. Try to eat no carbs, but at any rate keep carbs under 20 grams a day. And as far as Pretoria and fats go, try to keep your fats about 3x higher than your protein. That’s not a scientific method, I know, but it’s close enough. Then once in Ketosis, and it’s noticeably easier, then start measuring macros. Get the correct amount of protein for lean body mass. None of this is rocket science, it’s just eating, keeping calm, and carrying on.

(Eddie Trevino) #9

I agree, she is of great value to the family, I made huge changes in my life for both myself and her. I did not want to drop dead from being obese as I was on the path to endless supply of meds. I was also a long time smoker and I quit along with dropping 30ish lbs. I guess I should had added that she does ok with me and at home its when she is at working and her evil friends eat all that junk, she gives in. Will power she lacks for now, hell it didnt take me fast to do this why am I expecting her too be able too… I guess since I can stop with a flip of a switch that she can too… what was I thinking…

(Karen) #10

Give her love, care, and compassion. Offer to cook for her. There is more to keto than (forgive my blasphemy) eggs and bacon. Lead by example. It’s clear you care for her a great deal.

K
Ephesians 5:25-33

(Vladaar Malane) #11

Hi Eddie, I was in simular place for awhile. My wife hated any idea I had about weight loss. Then my mother-in-law started to do ketogenic. I had conspired with my mother-in-law to plant the idea with my wife. As long as idea didn’t come from me seems great. LoL, no idea why, but her friends can tell her same thing I do and it’s great, but if I try to tell her something. Nope, that’s stupid. So, yah don’t try to tell her anything. Lead by example, and if your blessed to have family/friends that do it too maybe they can try to talk to her about their success with it? My wife and I both do ketogenic now, which helps heaps. As I don’t have to fight with her to stop making high carb crap that she loves now. She was big time into spagetti, and pasta dishes before. She still cheats a lot, buying bags of candies and what not. But I don’t say a thing, the fact that we at least eat healthy meals now helps me out a lot, and I hope that I can inspire her to try to refrain from eating those bags of candy herself.

(Banting & Yudkin & Atkins & Eadeses & Cordain & Taubes & Volek & Naiman & Bikman ) #12

You gotta let her come to it on her own. And you have to accept that she may never get there.

I know my wife could do this. She could do it better than I can do this. She is semi-open to trying Atkins style induction, but she doesn’t have the metabolic derangement I have.

Folks get better one by one. And you kind of have to let them get there on their own.

(Ethan) #13

My wife also had similar responses about keto before getting in. Coffee with heavy whipping cream solved that. She just loved them and didn’t then need to eat for a while. The rest of eating keto was easy.

(Troy) #14

YThat Day is here soon😳

Yup. Valentines Day
Hint hint

Pamper and :heart: Love
Lots of recipes out there

You can be the Iron Chef and cook or surprise her…pref Keto foods😊

THEN make dessert, or a nice tray or platter

Some awesome Keto Chocolate Fat Bombs!
Chocolate, Strawberries, raspberries, coconut, almond butter, pecans, hwc, butter, …ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES

Then prepare a nice epson salt bath for her. W some essential oils.

Enjoy
Best of luck and Prayers

Just like the previous poster
Eph 5:33

#15

Lead by example.

#16

Your post inspired me to find this thread:

It’s hard to witness people we love making choices we may see as to their detriment, but your wife needs her own why, just as we all do. My why has evolved as I’ve learned and experienced more, but without it I would have little reason to stay in the game.

I would say you KCKO, and let your wife come to it or not. Good luck!

(Eddie Trevino) #17

thanks for all the feedback guys, greatly appreciate all the kind words and guidance.

Ed

(Mark) #18

Good for you! You even quit smoking - something my mother never did…it killed her slowly and painfully. She never realized what it did to the rest of the family along the way. Sugar is an addiction, worse than cocaine, according to studies with Rats. And with any addiction, in order to change, the person has to WANT to change. I wish you luck and hope that she will find her own truth, and that you have the strength to maintain your
own path. They poison our air, our water, our food. It’s amazing any of us live past the age of 20.