Oh boy… My mother in law is coming for Christmas on Wedsnesday and I’m so stressed about it. She is 79, stubborn as hell, and a retired nurse that refuses to believe in NEW science (post 1970) in the medical industry. She Takes BP medication, Lipitor, and several other medications for various things. My husband told her months ago that we (my husband, 2 kids, and myself) have all made a choice to eat ketogenically and she has been freaking out about it ever since. Of course she first thought he was talking about ketoacidosis because she is uninformed, but after explaining to her what we eat she is on a rampage. She lives across the country from us so it hasn’t been too hard dealing with her constant barrage of comments about our impending death(s) from this way of eating, but on Wedsnesday she will be staying with us for a week! She has already asked me to get her a loaf of bread and sugar for her coffee (since we don’t eat that anymore, her words in a sarcastic tone) which I’m fine with, I don’t care what she eats. I just don’t know how to handle this, she’s set in her ways and plays the “nurse” card constantly. She’s also volatile to say the least, honestly it’s since she has been on statins that she acts so grumpy about everything, I swear that’s why. I can only smile and nod for so long. Do you all have any ideas on how to get through the week with her? I’ve thought about pulling up some research in Pubmed for her? I don’t know…I’m freaking out though! I don’t want to constantly defend our choices 
Help! Anti Keto guest coming to stay!
Let other people eat what they choose to eat.
I’m not saying this in jest, I have to deal with this in my own family.
Don’t waste your breath trying to change her mind. She clearly is not receptive. I get it’s your mother in law and you want to be respectful, but it is your home, your children, your choice what to feed your family. Let her have her bread and sugar and you eat what you normally do.
Girl, you best gird your loins. If I were you, I would say nothing… Then I would cut an avocado in half, fill it with sour cream, nd sriracha and sprinkle it with bacon. If that doesn’t work you can offer to put a little butter in her coffee.
Oh I don’t care what she eats, I’m worried about her commenting constantly on what we are or are not eating.
I just want to sympathize with you about having your mother in law staying with you over Christmas. Mine is coming too, so, it’s the most stressful time of the year right?? Christmas is never fun for mothers, it’s a ton of work, especially with difficult house guests. My sympathies to you!!
Pretend to eat bread and then sneak bites from a stick of butter under the table 
Maybe tell her that you do not want to discuss the way your family eats if she makes comments, that the subject is off limits and you are asking her to respect that and your choices. If she persists, it might be uncomfortable but it’s your house, your family, she has no right to be disrespectful.
I can’t help except to say
Life is too short to be around those you don’t like, no matter who they are!
Thank you! Yeah, it’s totally stressful. She is due for a hip replacement too, that means we won’t be doing ANYTHING…sigh
Sure wish it was that easy. The kids like her, and my husband isn’t terribly keen on her, but it is his mom.
I’m so lucky my in laws are Japanese. They probably don’t love the idea of a ketogenic diet seeing as how rice is a massive component of theirs, but they wouldn’t dare say it to me in my home. If anything, they would smile about how many green vegetables I’m ingesting
Will there be chances to get out of the house among other people or in places that are more wide open that don’t have anything to do with food? You’ll probably need some neutral territory and interaction with other people may be helpful, too.
As for the actual eating, make her what she wants to eat but make and eat whatever you and your family want to eat as though she wasn’t there. Seriously, you don’t have to eat what she eats. And she doesn’t have to eat what you eat. If there are things that overlap that everyone eats, great. The more of those the better but if none, so be it, and don’t be guilted into eating a bunch of things you don’t want to eat.
Probably the best revenge against such bitter words is a life well lived. If you can demonstrate that you’re happy, healthy and well fed by the way you live your lives in your own home, there really is just not a lot of teeth in her ill words. Knowing such may give her all the more reason to push her opinions and make life as miserable for you as she can but it’s your home and if push comes to shove, she’s welcome to leave at any point she decides she doesn’t want to be there anymore.
Here’s hoping the dread of the time spent is worse than the actual time spent.
And more truer words have never been spoken.
And if all else fails, kick the old bitch to the curb. It is your house after all, regardless of ill feelings with your hubby and kids! But I’m betting that if you have to throw down the gauntlet, she will shape up and tow the line instead of leaving for a hotel room and next flight out of town.
THank you so much! It’s exactly what I need to hear. I am making opportunities to get out of the house, it’s a must when she visits. She’s a force, and it’s tiring.
This is a great opportunity to Keep calm and KETO ON!
Just a guys perspective. But who cares what she says.
This is really your husbands problem, not yours. Time for him to step up.
or
Wine!!! 
Good luck!
Being his mom doesn’t make it OK for her to be unpleasant.
I had a similar situation with my ex-FIL. He clearly stated he can do as he pleases because he was family.
I was not raised like that, and starting setting boundaries with him - something nobody had ever done before. Once he realized my ex was supporting me, his behavior improved drastically.
But - your husband needs to step up to the plate too.
Sounds like your MIL and my MIL were twins separated at birth. Awful as she may be, she’s still your husband’s mom and your kids’ grandma. It is way more important to be kind in this situation than it is to be right.
Here’s what helps me deal with mine:
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Don’t pick up the rope. Don’t take the bait. You don’t owe her a response or explanation and she doesn’t want to hear it. Change the subject. Do. Not. Engage. Which leads to the next obvious question…
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What is this really about for her? Because it’s not about you, and it’s not about the keto diet. Maybe if you pay attention, you’ll figure out what it’s really about. Maybe you could even ask her at some point, from a kind place rather than an angry or judgemental one.
From what you describe, she sounds like someone who spent her life being useful, needed and respected. Until she retired and wasn’t. Maybe she doesn’t feel wanted or needed or like anyone wants the contribution or perspective she has to offer. Can you find one thing, anything at all, to appreciate about her and then just keep focusing on that? Can you thank her for the great son she raised? For being there to make Christmas memories with her grandkids? My MIL backed off when I thanked her for raising her son and described the ways his now deceased dad lives on in his values. Find something about her to appreciate and when you get the chance, TELL HER. It’s amazing how it shuts people up. -
You mentioned what she cannot do - is there anything she CAN do that she and the kids would enjoy? Can she help them make homemade Christmas ornaments or decorations? Can the kids interview her about her life for a memory book? Can everybody pick their favorite Christmas movie and you guys all watch one together each day/night? Can you all drive around and look at lights together? Come on… google is your friend here. You can come up with something, probably several something’s. Make a list on your phone and refer to it when you want to pull out your hair (or hers).
YOU’VE GOT THIS. All you have to do is be kind. You don’t have to win any arguments or make any points. Fair or not, we are the wives and moms and we set the tone in the home. You can’t control her but you can set the tone. Can you see this as an opportunity to practice patience and tolerance for the woman who made it possible for you to have a great hubby and by extension, a couple of great kids? Ask yourself: who do you really want to be in this situation, and then go be that awesome woman.
When you want to strangle her, log on and vent to us – we will be here for you and totally understand. We got your back, sister.
Now go be awesome!!!