Funny reaction to my food order

(Patty) #1

I recently went to an amusement park that mostly had your typical carb loaded foods, but I found a place that had salads and pizzas. So I’m standing at the register and I order the salad then go on to briefly explain my need to avoid carbs and ask “Could I just get a bowl of cheese and pepperoni? I don’t care if you heat it up.”

Then things start to get funny. Of course I get weird looks from the girl behind the register, and the other girl that makes the pizzas, but I’m used to this and I don’t care. Then the guy in line behind me chimes in…
Guy: “Wow, that’s ballin’!”
Me: “That’s how I roll.”
Guy: “Why not just eat the pizza?”
Me: (sighing inside…) “I’m on a low carb diet”
Guy: “Oh like Atkins?”
Me: (with a glimmer of hope that this guy has a clue and that this exchange can end quickly) “Yeah, kind of like that”
Then he says this…
“You know, it’s really important to eat fruit on that diet or else you’ll get diabetes”
LOL!!
Luckily my food was ready at this point and they started asking him what he wants to order so I just walked away.

This is pretty much the craziest exchange I’ve had with someone over my food choices. Has anyone else heard of this supposed side effect of keto?? :wink:

(Sonia A.) #2

So funny :joy:

(jilliangordona) #3

Someone posted on Facebook that they were following the ketogenic diet, and I saw someone comment and stay “gotta be careful or you’ll become a acidic!!!” :roll_eyes:

(Stickin' with mammoth) #4

If by side effect you mean having to deal with the uneducated masses, then yes, I’ve experienced terrible symptoms. Here’s a typical conversation at the food sample counter of my Trader Joe’s where they showcase their more highly processed products. Not all employees are this bad.

“Here, try some,” she says sweetly, shoving a little white paper cup full of something brightly colored at me.

“No, thanks.”

“It’s really good.”

“No, thanks.”

“You’re gonna regret not trying this…” She does that sing-song voice people use to manipulate children but I’m not sure who it’s for, me or the other patrons gathering around. I’m just there for the free coffee sample. It’s Ethiopian. I love dark coffee.

“No, thanks, I don’t eat sugar.”

She announces proudly so that everyone can hear, “This has no added sugar!”

I grab the box, turn it around, and point to several long words in the ingredients list.

“These are all sugar.”

She lowers her voice and offers me a conspiratorial smile. “Oh, those are in everything.”

I wince like her ignorance is giving off some kind of glare. Yeah, I think to myself, that’s the problem: they’re in everything.

“No, thanks.”

We’re up to four No, Thanks now, that’s a mental red flag. People who don’t take no for an answer are either narcissists or working on commission, often both.

“Are you gluten free?”

“Nope,” I say as I turn around carefully with my brimming cup of coffee and cream, wondering briefly how she made the mental jump from No Sugar to Gluten Free with a sample of trail fruit bars.

“Well, you’re really missing out!” she calls after me in a voice so sweet you could frost a cake with it.

Yes, I am, I think. I’m missing out on skin problems, early aging, diabetes, acid reflux, a lowered immune system, size XXXL, and a liver that hates my guts, pun intended. She’s not the worst, it’s the doctors who think eating bacon will cause ketoacidosis that freak me out. It’s the primary reason I don’t mention keto to anyone anymore. Wading through the Duh uses up all my energy.

(Clare) #5

PMSL…yeah - you’re not wrong lady…but…

#6

You’re lucky you’re dealing with strangers.

My hubby this morning was critical of my coffee. Told me I’d get blocked arteries and have a heart attack. He announced this while holding a Red Bull in one hand, and a breakfast cake in the other!

(Stickin' with mammoth) #7

Seriously? That’s like an SNL skit, right there.

(Clare) #8

We have a saying in Scotland ‘get him fucking telt’.
Telt literally translates as ‘told’ but means you’ve handed someone their own backside, usually via facts.

So, Scots lesson over…get him fucking telt.

(Stickin' with mammoth) #9

Ooooo, I am so using this on an old Scotsman I know.

(Keto in Katy) #10

Would the past tense be you have been fucking tolt?

#11

Much kinder than last night. When he informed he would prefer me at around 140lb! WTF! I’ll be what I damn well please!

(Bacon, Not Stirred) #12

I hope you slapped the asshole right out of his mouth. My GOD! I would be PISSED!

Not to say that he isn’t otherwise a nice man (because, well, how would I know), but how completely insensitive.

(Stickin' with mammoth) #13

A while back, I dated an Iranian man who asked me, point blank, if I could gain about 60 pounds, but just on my ass. This was pre-Kardashian era ass worship. I asked around my women friends and, yup, there are certain parts of the world where beauty bulges specifically. I’d go there but I like freedom.

(Bacon, Not Stirred) #14

I wonder if he knows that when we gain weight, we don’t get to pick where it goes…

LMAO I’m dying.

That’s hilarious.

(Stickin' with mammoth) #15

Yeah, that was the very next thing to come out of my mouth. After the sigh. And the growl. We only dated a few months. I don’t do unpaid babysitting.

(Bacon, Not Stirred) #16

LOLOLOL

Worst five minutes of your life?

#17

I don’t think its quite sunk in yet that I’m doing it for me, and not to appear more attractive to him, but he’ll get it eventually…

(Doug) #18

Great thread, Patty. :star_struck:

:laughing:

:stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

:smile:

:crazy_face:

(Stickin' with mammoth) #19

When he asked if I could gain 60 pounds of ass cushion, I should have asked him if he could gain 60 IQ points of brain matter.

(Bacon, Not Stirred) #20

LMAO I just spit out my ketoade.