Hello. I have been training consistently for 2 years. I’ve gained a fair amount of strength and muscle, however, I’ve been suffering from binge eating and bulimia, and this led me to gain a lot of weight back before I even started lifting. I am afraid that all this stress I’m putting my body into would slowly kill me. It’s hard. I go all out at the gym training fasted, doing HIIT and resistance training only to binge the next day. I have tried to eat “normally” with 2-4 clean meals a day, but I still end up binging. I tried going slow with my training, I still end up sabotaging myself. I simply couldn’t find balance.
I have researched all about it through the net and found comfort that I was not alone. I have found out that we sabotage ourselves simply because we find comfort in failure, that it is a familiar feeling for some of us.
I want to start my fast to heal the emotional things I have been dealing with. For now, I’m hoping to successfully do a 7-day fast, longer if I have to. I really want to experience the emotional detox some of the people in the fasting community are talking about. I believe that would help me understand myself better. I’ve been through emotional trauma and I just can’t help but blame myself for trusting people so much. I punish myself by sabotaging anything I try to build, by running away from the things I love, by deliberately making myself hateful in the eyes of the people around me. I’m a danger to myself. I need a reset button.