Family dont believe me

#1

Long post so get a cuppa or feel free to skip.

I come from a LOOOOONG background of trying all the diets out there over many years, and also, each time spouting that THIS is the correct way to eat, live etc.
Because I have a long background in health, being an Intensive Care Specialist nurse for 20+ years, and the last 20+ years working as an Intensive Care Paramedic, I expected people to believe that I knew what I was talking about, because I could quote the “experts” etc.
My speciality is cardiac medicine, and I considered (note past tense) that I was a bit of a guru.

All my understanding has now been turned on it’s head as I delve deeper in the keto metabolic rabbit hole. I feel like a little terrier that has burrowed so far down the hole it is stuck and cant get back out, but at the same time doesn’t want to because of all the goodies and exciting things just a bit further down.

Unfortunately, my family has had many years of me saying that Pritikin was the way to eat, then whole-foods, then vegetarian, then vegan, then totally organic as long as the seeds were planted at the full moon and the vestal virgins harvested the produce, and then I accepted that eggs and fish were OK, but not red meat, and then maybe meat was OK but not more than once a month, and then maybe we would do paleo (which was probably a step in the right direction).
Then my poor darling husband was diagnosed with very advanced cancer and I put him on the green juice fast (poor darling) and cut all his meat, but made him eat lots of fruit with it.

I have done Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, had a gastric band put in, had a gastric band taken out, had a ‘virtual’ gastric band, had further hypnosis, went on The Biggest Loser Australia, went to the gym fanatically, had bulimia, laxative abuse, prescription appetite suppressant abuse - the list goes on!!

Now - I know (I mean REALLY KNOW) that this lifestyle and way of eating is the real deal.
I mean, the proof is in the pudding (gluten free, low carb of course) and my metaphorical pudding is really rather good.
Also, the science is overwhelming.
Previously I could read a scientific paper only through the filter of confirmation bias.
I have had to teach myself to read objectively, and the science is still good!!

I have reversed Type 2 Diabetes (only self diagnosed as I wasnt letting any doctor get hold of THOSE blood sugar results, but I was consistently above 8 mm fasting), I no longer have hypertension, I am losing weight, but more importantly keeping it off.
My body shape is changing, my skin is glowing (not bad for an old girl), I am now off my antidepressant meds but actually well mentally (as opposed to being off the meds but in a mental mess), and my arthritis is much quieter than it has been for years.

So, long winded, but finally at the crux of this post, my family are just rolling their eyes at me and saying " Sure, you say this is the thing this year but what happens next year when the new diet fad comes out??"

I am not sure how to convince them apart from living longer and longer and getting better and better but I dont want to out live them!
Meanwhile I KCKO

(Jean Taylor) #2

I know how that goes. My mom is t2d with celiacs currently undergoing chemo for breast cancer. I just keep sending her recipes…

#3

It is so hard to watch isn’t it!
I think back to what I fed my darling husband and just hope that I didn’t kill him with all the rubbish diets we used to follow :frowning:
Hoping your mum can learn from you and turn her health around xxx

(Jay AM) #4

Well, it’s like the situation of the boy who cried wolf and, that’s where you are. At this point, just don’t. Be keto for you and let them see results. Don’t shove it down their throats or in their faces. It’s not about them right now anyways. Just truly live your best keto life. This isn’t about changing the world, it’s about changing yourself. In this case, it includes changing your thinking.

(TJ Borden) #5

I’ve run into similar issues. I’ve been able to see the difference in my health and the weight is dropping, but since my weight is still over the 400lb mark, I’m not exactly in a place where I can really evangelize about keto yet.

As people notice the weight loss (although it’s not lost, I know where it went) and ask me about it, I gladly tell them how I did it and I have managed to get two other people on keto so far. I figure once I get closer to my target, I might start to be “that guy that won’t shut up about keto.”

(Rob) #6

As in so many other occasions, I was going to say that :grin:

While I am at my lowest weight in 2 decades, I’m still (just) obese so can only really evangelize to those who knew me 90lbs ago like @Baytowvin 's situation.

The most frustrating thing about a stall for me is not my weight staying the same (I’m happy with my progress), but extending the timeline at which I can credibly evangelize to others.

(Retta Stephenson) #7

What terrific changes you’ve made, with great results so far. But… I must agree with J_AM:

I’m 67; tried em all; spouted the benefits of em all; failed at em all. Now that I’m low carb, I still have no credibility, even though I’ve lost around 120 lbs so far. Because I’ve done that before!! What they don’t realize is that this is the first time the loss has been permanent. But still, they don’t want to hear my know-it-all opinion about low carb/keto/weight loss, etc.

So what to do??
Zip it up.

I just don’t talk about it unless they ask. And then I am gentle, remembering how many years it took ME to let go of my carbs.

When that year goes by, and your family sees you still at it, enjoying it, and healthier… I’ll bet they will get curious and start asking. Some might, anyway. People just need to be at that right place where they are open and willing to change. And you’ll be a good example for them to ask, when they are ready.

#8

Such wise words, @rettakat
I am used to being the person who knows it all, but I realise I just come across as a " know it all"

xx

(Diane) #9

I have some health issues that have been life altering since January 2017. In July, I started researching low carb diets on the recommendation of my PCP. That’s when I “discovered” the ketogenic way of eating. I spent time researching this, probably a couple of months. It was a lot to get my head around. It’s contrary to everything I thought I knew. I started eating ketogenically September 16th.

I think that since this is not an “easy fix” diet, it means significant changes over significant time (6-8 weeks at least to start seeing the benefits of fat adaption). Because of the need for some significant, initial commitment, I needed the research. It gave me the understanding I needed to give this WoE the time needed to start to really see the benefits to be gained for ME (with MY health issues).

Although initially I didn’t say anything about my “diet”, some of my family members noticed positive changes, mostly in my mood and personality, along with my weight loss. Now I have two sisters, a brother in law, a niece and a former coworker who are all eating ketogenically. 4 out of the 5 for over 3 months (the coworker is just starting out). I think the example, over time, is what will convince people to give a ketogenic diet a chance, if anything will.

So, as always, I’ll keep calm and Keto on.

Good luck on your journey!

(Karen) #10

I’m in the same situation. I’ve been on a hundred diets. Then been off 100 diets. I’m eating keto now, although I will refer to it as “low carb” when I’m telling people who may have to cook for me so I don’t have to explain the difference. Most people know what low carb is.

The main thing I’ve realized is that people don’t care what you eat. If you go to someone else’s house, and they don’t have anything you can eat, sit with them and drink water. Or pop a few macadamia nuts in your pocket or purse, and go have a few without making a big deal about “not eating the food that’s there”.

I’ll miss my daughter-in-law’s famous tiramisu when we go visit them in May, but I’ve had it before. It’s not like I don’t know what it tastes like, and it’s only that 15 minutes of missing it while everyone else is eating it. And feeling better about myself in the morning will be worth it.

(Raj Seth) #11

Lucky me - my 15yo daughter has made a Keto tiramisu (takes 3 days to produce). Yay!

(Tara) #12

Same here, lots of different diets over the years, exercise, etc. But finally found the right thing (keto) and it feels good. I love my family and it’s hard to watch them continue to poison themselves at every family function/holiday. It’s interesting to look at the stages I’ve went through:

  1. I wonder what I could eat here and how do I make it seem like I’m not on a diet so that I don’t get attacked?
  2. I’m sticking to my diet and I won’t cheat at this family function. I don’t care who notices or what they say.
  3. We don’t need 2 cakes, 3 boxes of donuts and a peanut butter cup trifle. Why is everyone doing this to themselves? This is making me sick. I need to let them know. I have to save them.
  4. I can easily spot the family members that care about their health and those that don’t care. I can help those that are interested. Family functions are just going be difficult until more people become aware.
    KCKO
(Karen Humiston) #13

I think a lot of us are in this position. We’ve tried so many diets, we’ve succeeded for a while and were jubilant, only to crash and burn – again and again. Speaking for myself, I had completely lost faith that any diet would work for me. I just couldn’t work up the “rah-rah” to keep myself going even through the initial stages, because it all just seemed like setting myself up for another failure. It seemed like a cruel joke (“Weight Watchers again? Sure, you’ll do it this time, Karen!”), and I just was not interested in putting myself through it anymore. So if I was so skeptical myself, why should I expect the people who’d watched me fail time and time again to believe that this time I really would succeed?

Of course, I truly believe that this time is different. I’ve done the research, I committed to try it for at least three months (I’m in month 4 now), and the results are beyond anything I could have imagined! I’m rebuilding my own faith that something can really work – but I expect that it will take more time for those around me to feel that same belief. Time to heal, time to come back to life, and time to maintain those benefits long-term. In the meantime, I don’t say much unless people ask.

I have to say though, that I have been surprised at how many people have come to me to ask what I’ve been doing. They notice the weight loss, but what really astonishes them are the non-scale changes. I’m told I look younger, happier, more vibrant and healthy. One dear friend told me in tears that she’d been “watching the light go out in Karen – and now the light is back!” These people are so happy for me, and they want what I’ve found. So I guess the best answer is to give it time, and let your light shine. People will notice, and ask.

(Karen) #14

I NEED that recipe!!

#15

What bothers me are not the ones who do not believe me, I would not believe me either, it is the ones who desperately need it (too heavy to have a knee replacement at 54 heavy, can barely walk), believe me but just cannot stand the idea of giving up ___________ (insert favorite food) or taking coconut oil or whatever because it sounds too yucky (hello, you must have eaten some yucky foods to get to this point). Note, it only bothers me if someone is extremely unhealthy. If they are simply overweight or obese but no obvious health problems, good luck

Same situation, own more diet books than I care to count, love being right! I have pretty much been gluten free and moderate carb no flour for the last decade or more so that part has not changed much. Keto was not a stretch but even I hesitated when I first read about it being better. The one I most want to help is a Tofi T2 friend on dialysis. She does not believe me because she associates this with weight loss which she does not need and because she has seen me fail so many times. Like others have said, I am unhappy about the stall (more than 6 months) because it delays my credibility but I am over it and have accepted it.

It was recently my ketoversary and I no longer care about advertising. Occassionally I will try to convert a stranger, most recently a girl I met at an Apple store. As for my family, I do not bother. I have no problem with family events, I ask what is being served. One of my children is gluten free and so they will cook for her and I can usually eat whatever that is.

Another parent at my kid’s school went from a BMI of over 35 to about 22 (guessing) with low carb low fat. This was about 2 years ago. I see her all the time in the summer. Whenever she talked about her diet I tuned out 2 years ago. I was not interested. When she talked about it last summer I still tuned out because I did not agree with it. If she can stick to it, wonderful but honestly it sounded so unappealing I was not interested. Unfortunately to many people that is how keto sounds

(Don) #16

Just focus on the positives, what you have accomplished and what you want to accomplish. Your family will come to their own conclusions when they are ready.

(Raj Seth) #17

I’ll get it for you!

(Raj Seth) #18

Boring Keto :joy:

(Kelly Sawden Roberts) #19

Hey you guys! I am so proud to be a part of this forum! I mean, it’s like almost everyone of you knows exactly what I’m feeling or experiencing with my family! I’ve tried it all, and I was so sure that going vegetarian/vegan was going to be the answer a couple of years ago! now that I’m no longer doing that, I feel I have lost all credibility. Never mind that I am the lightest weight I have been in over a decade from doing keto and fasting, my niece, who I was finally starting to get through to recently, has decided to go to a registered dietitian and is now doing a mostly vegetarian calorie restricted meals with snacks kind of plan. UGH! It also doesn’t help that I am still a size 12/14 (when I used to be a 16/18) but I am nowhere near the shape physically that I want to be in order to be a health coach! I appreciate you all’s suggestions to the OP and I just want you all to know that you are not alone! I do believe that as we keep calm and keto on, the world is going to wake up eventually and seek our help! Until then, I’m only going to help those who ask me for it!

(Bev Anne Moynham) #20

I did the vegetarian route too – after about 4 months I realized I was just gaining back all the weight I had lost so I went back to lowcarb and from there I found keto and then fasting. Still a slow loser but no longer diabetic.