I am not so well so coffee found the way to me (I have a headache too but that alone wouldnāt be enough).
The sun is shining, I should go out, I ate over my energy need without a walk anywayā¦ Had a quick lunch as I felt the need for it at 1pm. I am not very satiated but I donāt want more eggs or pork right now. I ate more meat than yesterday, 570g/393pound/20 ozā¦ Itās not much, how anyone can consider it much in general, for everyoneā¦? I find the pork too chewy now but only because the 4 hour Christmas chuck was soooo super (too) tender. And because itās not chuck, the best stuffā¦
I ate 3 eggs now and I am not sure I ate enough. But it wasnāt a small lunch, itās 1920 kcal in guesstimation. It feels small though. Interesting. But itās only day #2, I am not surprised much, one has hungrier days anyway.
3g ch, 120g protein (the lowest number I seem to function without a ton of fat), 153g fatā¦ As always, I donāt feel I ate much fat (well, I didnāt but my ideas about much fat are a bit skewed :D).
Did I write I get little joy from my food now? My brain still refuses to work, well I ate and itās early afternoon so my body wants a nap, it happens.
Itās good I donāt need to enjoy my meals all the time. I would like to stop eating for a week as a big, well-fed snake but sadly I canāt skip meals. And I can eat just fine, it just lacks the usual joy. I donāt want pork shoulders for a while now. Not bored of it just disappointed a bit. And I want softer meat. Maybe one reason I like processed meat that itās wonderfully soft, usually (and the bresaola is fun even if chewy but I didnāt see it lately in the supermarket)ā¦ The other is the generous amount of paprika in most of themā¦ But I can do it both with normal meat but I didnāt want to add back spices yet and a plain patty would tempt me to do itā¦
But I didnāt want to write down all my thoughts. Just report my substantial meal 
[ā¦]
I ate a single tiny bite of beef tongue, meh. Went out, drank coffees, my headache is stubborn but tiny so itās fine.
I put most of the pork shoulder into the freezer and got out a small box of chuck. Tomorrow I make sponge cake (and cheesy egg whites for Alvaro).
Weekdays will come so I expect no coffee or food until sunset but at least 3pm. WHY my body does it, why my hunger is connected to the presence of Alvaro I have no idea. Itās not like I even was there when he had his lunch (way before mine). Oh well. Weekends are special and holidays too, to some extent.
If I wonāt forget, I will weigh myself tomorrow! Monday morning and day #3 seems a great time for it. I canāt take measurements but I know how my only pair of trousers I can wear feelsā¦ Tight when I have something underneath (itās thin but I have no winter trousers) and crouch. We will go from here!
I obviously wonāt make a photo of myself, thatās not my style. Thoughā¦ Nope. I have some kind of photo when I hold a cat or stood next to a (way taller) teaselā¦ Because I know I will lose fat from my head now (as I did it last time. itās horrible I am not my lowest in the last decade even not counting my short time below 69kg but itās very true) and itās very visible. So I wanna see that I suppose.
Itās quite basic to me on carnivore for most fruits but now I avoid my single rosehip when I walk too 
Just to do things really clean as no way it cause any harm to me and itās during a walk, used up right away. But in this January I am serious. And itās not like I need the rosehip at all, it is just a tiny fun (and annoyance with its hairy seeds so itās super tiny, half a pea of fruit flesh.
Oh I hope staying away from all sweetness helps No cream, no tiny onion, not even spice nowā¦
How much protein did you eat before? Even if you wrote amounts before, my memory isnāt that greatā¦ I have no such option, I canāt eat less protein. And I would get bored without liver and soup so they will inevitably happen soon! I want turkey necks for my soup, I donāt have many options without plantsā¦ But I like turkey necks
[Totally offtopic from here on.]
I almost broke my glasses when I accidentally step on it harder than usual (I have the skill to stop my step when I touch it, of course itās not 100% but I still stopped just a bit late), I really need a new pair, I couldnāt even put back the tiny, already annoying screw. So I use a piece of a paper clip now. And I have a purple bruise on my finger I donāt remember how I gotā¦ So I am normally clumsy in 2022 too. But I can draw adorable animals (I just learned that fact, it was surprising as it just happened without me practicing a lot), I need to change my profile pic. Dee* is WAY cuter than her dad, Dingle. Especially when she is cosplaying, she does it all the time. I want to draw her in all astrology signs (Chinese too) but she wanted to be a giraffe last timeā¦ sigh Itās normal for original characters, writers complain about that phenomenon too. I experienced it all the time when I did role playing using drawings. My chars are very stubborn, usually, no wonder, they are mine.
(But she was adorable as a sheep first so I really canāt complain.)
- my worm OC. No idea what kind of worm, sometimes I research and give up. Ssomething close to leeches? Looks like an earthworm but without the thicker part and not so long. It makes cosplaying living beings with limbs a bit tricky but Dee is extremely positive, confident and playful. She should be my role model, actually and it must say something very bad about me, being worse than an imaginary worm But she is really awesome in her silly way.
will update later
