ARGHHHH (non-keto)

(Allie) #1

Absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with keto, I just need to scream because living with an alcoholic who is in denial and has mental health issues is an absolute fucking bitch :weary: :cry:

#2

I feel that. I lived with one 18 years of my life, my dad. He has never once admitted it. He had liver cancer 10 years ago and was lucky enough to have a liver transplant. Fast forward to today: he never stopped drinking, he has cancer again. He visited me while he was in town for a doctors appointment. After his appointment he came over and literally made himself a drink of my alcohol ā€œfor the roadā€. Itā€™s very very hard. Iā€™ve been to multiple therapists and they honestly helped me the most. I still have issues from it but at least now I know that itā€™s not my fault (gotta imagine being a kid and thinking he will quit for you but doesnā€™t) he is the way he is and Iā€™ve kinda just given up on trying to change him. Not really encouraging but just venting as well. Ha. Iā€™m sorry. :confused:

(Jessica) #3

Iā€™m so sorry. Is it a situation you can/want to leave?

#4

Cyber hug. Know all about living with alcoholics.

(Allie) #5

@notmyname yes that sucks, Iā€™ve been there too as my step-dad was alcoholic. Thankfully he did finally get dry but it was long after I had grown up and left home. I hope your dad does see sense one day, but it has to come from him as you know :frowning:

@cadori depending on what happens when I speak to him in the morning (no point trying to get sense out of him todayā€¦ ), he will be moving out as itā€™s my house. Itā€™ll be a struggle on my own financially but the reduced stress will be more than worth it.

@Patti2008 hugs back, sorry youā€™ve had to deal with this crap too :frowning:

(Tubeman) #6

So sorry to hear :frowning: I work in a place where all kinds of drug addicts come to hang out every day, and by far, alcoholics are the worst of the bunch. Iā€™ll deal with a crackhead or junkie any day, but alcoholicsā€¦

Be careful with codependency in these kinds of relationships, makes escaping tough. This person clearly need to sort themselves out; you are not responsible for helping them.

(Allie) #7

@justatube thank you, Iā€™m very aware that heā€™s not my responsibility which is why Iā€™ve been making sure self-care has been my biggest priority recently. I gave him an ultimatum on Feb 1st and told him he has until April to prove to me that he is committed to his recovery. So far all heā€™s showing me is that he is committed to his drinkingā€¦ :frowning:

(Sophie) #8

Iā€™m very sorry for you. My ex was a drunk. I was divorced for 15yrs and it was a real struggle to live on my own but I gave up a lot of things in order to do so, and it was worth it not to have to deal with anybody elses bullshit. Iā€™m sending you a big 'ole hug too. Youā€™ll be right as rain as soon as you can shut the door on this chapter of your life.

(Allie) #9

Thanks @JustPeachy - good on you for doing the right thing for you. Iā€™ve spent the last couple of months juggling things and figuring out how I can make things work on my own financially and know I can do it if I have to.

(*Rusty* Instagram: @Rustyk61) #10

Sorry @Shortstuff, youā€™ve got your family here, with you!

(Garry (Canada)) #11

I feel for youā€¦

I was the a$$hole drunk in my first marriage. It didnā€™t matter how many times she begged me to stop, or threatened me to leaveā€¦my booze had a monster grip on me just like food/sugar has on some folks here.

Even though Iā€™m happily remarried and quite content with my sober new life nowā€¦I live with huge regrets each day of my life for being such a selfish a$$hole to her. Hopefully your ā€œotherā€ wakes up before he goes down the same path I did.

Wishing you happinessā€¦ Nobody deserves a drunk as a life partner.

(Ellen) #12

@Shortstuff virtual hugs coming your way, Dad was an alcoholic, and ex was a junkie, makes for an ā€œinterestingā€ life. This is a great place to just get it all off your chest, just remember, you are awesome and can do whatever you need / want to.

#13

Same here. Sober now over a year and half.

(Jay Patten) #14

Thatā€™s a tough spot to be in.

My father is a full blown alcoholic and we havenā€™t spoken in years.

I understand your frustration. Alcoholics are miserable to live with.

(Darlene Horsley) #15

Sending you hugs from across the pond. You do what you need to do to take care of you!

(You've tried everything else; why not try bacon?) #16

As someone on both sides of that equation, I feel for you. I remember well that feeling of my brain being on spin cycle. Remember that many family members and friends of alcoholics have found happiness and contentment, regardless of whether the alcoholic ever got sober or not.

(Karen) #17

Mom was a mean drunk. Iā€™m a tea-totaler as a knee jerk response. Prayers for your struggle with an alcoholic in the family.

K

(Candy Lind) #18

:hugs: HUGE HUGS! :hugs:

KCKO

#19

oh, Allie, good luck.

I had a huge break up about 12 years ago. No alcohol involved but a very dysfunctional relationship. It was a rough decision and a very difficult split, but it was pretty much the best thing Iā€™ve ever done for myself and my kids, and our lives are infinitely better for it now. (Also made room for me to meet the love of my life :heart_eyes: but thatā€™s another story and I wouldnā€™t have believed it at the time - I figured I was done with men forever.)

Hugs to you!

#20

Al anon is amazing for this, just a thought