Deception?
Each morning my wife gets up early to go to yoga class. She is incredibly fit and beautiful. Vegetables fear her. She won’t eat a steak, the yoga community is mainly vegetarian and vegan from what I observe and when I meet her crew.
Each morning I wake to the tinkling of dry cat food going into the bowl for Nancy and Eunice. Yes, they have names like 1950s Presidents (or First Ladies). When I hear the front door close, I get up (I am not a morning bear) and tip the cat biscuits back into the cereal container. Yes, the cat biscuits are in the re purposed breakfast cereal container (since the kitchen cupboard purge of 2014). I go and get the girls some grass-fed beef, or just recently some outback harvested feral goat. They love the goat. I make tiny, mouse size patties and put them in the bowls.
Dear wife asked if I thought the cats were sick because they don’t get up to pester her for biscuits, but they don’t seem to be hungry, but they seem to be losing some weight. I say it’s body fat and they like the beef I find them on special when shopping.
Cats are obligate carnivores. I also share some sardines with them, they don’t like oysters or mussels, we rarely have prawns, sometimes smoked salmon, lamb hearts, tiny amount of lamb’s liver (Spring lamb time is ending), chicken hearts, they like roast duck and some bone broth. They are starting to look like healthier cats.
My wife doesn’t realise that she is the only (low carb) ovopesci-vegetarian left in the household.
How do I break it to her? Have I broken a commandment or a marriage vow? #lowcarbkitties