A little bummed

(Melissa) #1

Today I decided to save ALL my carbs for a meal out with my family. I tried to choose smart, and ate less than half of what was served but still likely went over my macros (I didn’t even log it or look it up).

Anyway…I found out late tonight that my dad is cooking lunch for us tomorrow and he’s cooking…spaghetti. ONE CUP of spaghetti noodles has 47 carbs. :frowning:

I’ve been trying so hard and have done great when I can plan meal plan for weekdays at work and when I’m home on weekends. Family stuff is getting me though. I can’t tell my dad i can’t eat that. It will hurt his feelings terribly.

How do you deal with stuff like that? I feel like I’m being rude if I don’t eat a meal someone specifically cooked and invited me over for.

:confused:

(Kristin Rogers) #2

I would just have spaghetti sauce and salad (you can bring a salad maybe?) Sometimes I’ll get sliced fresh mozerella and put sauce on that. So, things you could bring to add to the things that work on the table already.
I think you just have to practice being up front about your food needs. How long have you been doing keto? Does your family know your plan?

(Melissa) #3

I’m very new, less than two weeks. Really only my husband knows. I honestly don’t want to draw attention to my food choices. I don’t have the best track record with willpower but I’m trying so hard.

I just don’t want to broadcast it, ya know? I want this to be for me…and I don’t want people to have to accommodate me. But I also don’t want to avoid family functions either.

Cake and eat it too, right?

(Guardian of the bacon) #4

Make and take some zoodles…zuchinni noodlized. Put your dad’s sauce on them.

If you want to be successful you are going to have to inform those around you what your new WOE allows.

(Mary Ann) #5

I can relate to not wanting folks to make special accommodations. But honesty is usually more sustainable than excuses. I find if I state that I’m on a particular diet and offer to bring my own replacement while being extremely grateful for what they’ve prepared-- that usually goes a long way.

In the short term you might tell him you’re having a food allergy and were advised to stay away from [insert food] for a little while.

(Linda) #6

Personally, I’d be honest and let them know for health reasons you’ve given up sugar and grains but if you’re not comfortable with that, I agree with what @MaryAnn said.

Alternatively, you can let them know that pasta has been causing diarrhoea, bloating, nausea - whatever and that although you appreciate the effort, you’d rather enjoy their company and not eat everything as opposed to being sick for days.

#7

I agree with this approach. Realise that your dad is doing it out of love, and would not want you to be unhappy or unwell.

Ask for some of the sauce without the spaghetti, and just say you’re avoiding wheat and sugar; in my experience even people who would react to keto with “OMFG HOW CAN YOU EAT ALL THE FAT!?” struggle to come up with anything bad to say about simply avoiding wheat and sugar.

(Allan Misner) #8

I’d bring some zuccinni and my spiralizer. It takes just a few minutes to cook it and you’ll have your noodles with his sauce and cheese, yes, lots of cheese. I would even drizzle on some additional olive oil (good quality).

(Sophie) #9

Spaghetti squash is a good option too. Make it and take it. Zap it in the micro for a few and you’re good to go.

(8 year Ketogenic Veteran) #10

I don’t know your reasons for being on keto, but if it’s to cure obesity or diabetes, we need to talk.

(Melissa) #11

No, I’m not diabetic or obese.

(8 year Ketogenic Veteran) #12

Ok. I asked that to see if you were on the ketogenic diet to help with life threatening issues.
A lot of us are.
If that were the case with you, I would have told you to put yourself first, not the feelings of someone else’s dinner party.

I still feel you should put yourself first with diet.
Always.

(Melissa) #13

Not the case, but thank you. And I guess you are right. If I’m doing it for me…I need to do what’s right for me. Thanks for the advice.

(8 year Ketogenic Veteran) #14

Absolutely. Take care of you! You are number one.

#15

I’ve been listening to Sarah Knight’s book “Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck” If you can bare the not so gentle language, it might be of help. I enjoy it :slight_smile:

(Solomom A) #16

There are some loved ones I will willingly drop out of Ketosis to have dinner with. I just manage to have as little carbs as I can manage in the circumstance. I don’t loose my KETO gains because I took 70gm of carbs one day in say a fortnight or a month instead of my normal 10gm or thereabout. We all have different priorities. YMMV.

(Melissa) #17

Thanks for this! I did end up eating the spaghetti and if my test strips are accurate, I didn’t drop out of ketosis. I’m positive I made the right choice and I’d do it again. It was what was right for me.

(Carpe salata!) #18

Your insulin levels must be low enough to be a bit flexible. I’m sure if the proverbial caveman found a potato he would eat it. But the difference is, it would have been a primal potato with lower glycemic index and less starch. Maybe a sweet potato. I don’t get too strict but I think 9/10 days or more I would be under 20 carbs. My fasting insulin was 7 last test … high end of normal. The 75g glucose in the glucose test didn’t cause issues, I just continued to keto on.

Tomorrow I’m going out for dinner. I’ll be ordering the pork belly with salad and a zero-carb beer. Go keto!

#19

Good for you! Family is important. I would ask though, would your parents support you if you shared what you were doing with them? Maybe a little farther into this WOE you might tell them all about it. I bet they would gladly take your needs into consideration for the next family dinner.

Edit to add: It really takes just a few adjustments. Grilled hamburgers, you leave the bun off, etc…

#20

I was scared about social functions and telling folks at first. It’s gotten way easier and I’ve even converted my mom and step dad to keto. I’ve refused cup cakes at friend’s parties and then other people have admitted they don’t do carbs anymore either! “Coming out” when ever you’re ready really does make life easier. Nobody cares as much as we think they would.