This is an excellent point. In the past couple of years, Iāve met new friends and maintain plenty of relationships with old ones. The old friends all tell me that Iām way too skinny. The new friends have never known me to be over 300 lb. I look completely normal to them.
Itās like Schmidt on new girl I guess lol
Iām going to miss that showā¦ though I will NOT be buying peppermint foot cream
I have phrased it this way as well - with a close friend that I hadnāt seen in a while that I knew had been going through some stressful times.
Four years ago I went Keto without knowing it - just kicked the carbs to the curb. All I heard was āyou look good but donāt lose any more weight.ā My answer was āmy body knows itās setpoint - and itās been way over for years.ā I donāt care how shrunken I have to look, all I care about is my over the top triglycerides. Your blood knows when your weight is right.
Good point. What we should look like is not the average weight because that has shifted.
I got heavier slowly over a long period of time and didnāt much think about it or see it as a fixable problem. I tend to not focus on things I donāt know how to address. And compared to my peers many if not most were heavier than me. It was only after I started losing weight that I realized I was obese and I could do something about it. Now I monitor my body fat % and have a much better sense of what an ideal level for me is. Iām not there yet but still slowly making progress.
And on my journey to better health Iāve encountered several people worried about my thinness. I donāt think a single one of them has a clue about their body fat % or what range would be best for their own health. But seeing someone continuing to get thinner gets their attention. And presents the question is this thin person getting too thin or am I and most everyone else I know getting too fat? They stay with the comfortable answer.
I was 100 pounds heavier last time my aunt saw me at my wedding in 2002. When she saw me last week she asked my husband if Iād lost weight on purpose & he reassured her I did.
People often have 100 pound weight losses by accident. You know because itās so easyā¦
Again today my momā¦ who always had something to say about my weight dropped the I think you are getting too skinny line. Sometimes you canāt win for losing.
āSon, you need to lose some weight. Here, have some chocolate cake. I made it just for you!ā
In the past I have asked, " did you lose weight on purpose?" I had a couple of years where several relatives lost a lot of weight due to medical issues.
Itās the only way people ānormallyā lose that much weight! I feel so lucky,
I am 5ā5 , female , started keto at 184 pounds. Bmi says thatās obese . I am 171 right now but would like to be in the 140 range . People always tell me thatās too thin. No itās not itās in the healthy range for bmi and I have been lower than that before (4-5 years ago) I get so irritated like be being thinner is less healthy than me being fat hahaha I also have people that say I can never be that thin again ( due to building muscle ) my goal is more than likeley to be 145-150 but who knows maybe once I get there I will want to go lower or build more muscle. For now Iām taking it as it comes and trying to shed weight. Whatever weight I feel happy with in the end is what my ultimate goal is but for the sake of it I just put a number out there .
Itās kind of a sad state of affairs when you think about it. I was at a social event yesterday and saw a bunch of people I havenāt seen in quite some time. Of course, I was north of 300 last they saw me, and now iām 165 - so the inevitable questions came up. It didnāt help the social event was a wake, so I guess assumptions were made about me.
Thankfully a few people were brave enough to ask me what was going on, but rather than be completely unbelievable, I just told people I was āwatching what I eat and exercising more.ā I know this crowd. Thereās no way they were ever going to believe that I lost weight by eating fat and not really exercising. Theyād be more likely to believe something crazy like āengaging in a new meth habitā and be more accepting of it.
But iām saving THAT one for my next family reunion 
OMG, do we travel in the same social circles!? 
And my friends watched me go from morbid obesity to overweight and they still continue to refer to my ādietā as restricted blah blah blah. But I have to admit that there are one or two that Iāve noticed kicking bread to the side or omitting starch or sugar. Maybe there is still some hope. I just keep on keepin on. They can fuel their vehicles how they see fit. I can only drive mine.
A lot of people are saying itās societal, but in my experience itās straight up jealousy.
Hereās why: I notice a definate positive difference in the way Iām received by strangers when Iām small vs when Iām heavy. This was VERY noticeable when I was going to college, but I still see and feel it now.
Just the other day I had a stranger overhear I was doing Keto and decided to put her two cents in on how ādangerousā it was, but that was directed at her misconceptions of the WOE, not towards me. If someone is clueless about how I eat and is just reacting to me, they are more engaging and friendly when I am small. Maybe itās feeding off my own confidence, but itās still palpable.
Yet people who know me and have seen me in both stages are the ones who give me flack. Not everyone of course. There are plenty of people who are genuinely supportive of my weight loss. But thereās also lots that say āyouāve lost enoughā and ādonāt lose any more, youāre getting too skinny.ā Or the worst, ācome on, you can have a donut. Itās not going to kill you.ā
And Iāve even had family members try to sneak food onto my plate. Not out of concern that Iām actually under eating mind you. But because they found it funny. Like would you sneak whisky into someoneās drink if you knew they were a recovering alcoholic? Or blow smoke in an ex smokers face? Maybe I just have crappy family members?
Anyway, itās made me a bit cynical about this topic. When strangers treat you better because youāve lost weight but people you know treat you worse, thats not society believing we should have more meat on our bones. Thatās people being jealous of otherās successes.
Amen Sista, well said! Jealousy is a very real stumbling block for many people. It is destructive and undermining, but there nonetheless. We just have to figure out when itās rearing its ugly head, and when to turn our backs to it. Itās not easy, but something we deal with when we are losing weight (minus exercise!) and regaining our health and stamina. Many a āfriendā has been lost in the process but those āfriendsā are probably best lost in the long run.
