Why do people keep telling me

(Karl) #71

This is an excellent point. In the past couple of years, I’ve met new friends and maintain plenty of relationships with old ones. The old friends all tell me that I’m way too skinny. The new friends have never known me to be over 300 lb. I look completely normal to them.

It’s like Schmidt on new girl I guess lol

(Rob) #72

:frowning_face: I’m going to miss that show… though I will NOT be buying peppermint foot cream

(Shayne O'Neill Sherbert) #73

I have phrased it this way as well - with a close friend that I hadn’t seen in a while that I knew had been going through some stressful times.

(Regina) #74

Four years ago I went Keto without knowing it - just kicked the carbs to the curb. All I heard was “you look good but don’t lose any more weight.” My answer was “my body knows it’s setpoint - and it’s been way over for years.” I don’t care how shrunken I have to look, all I care about is my over the top triglycerides. Your blood knows when your weight is right.

(Bunny) #75

”I’m Alright” (Kenny Loggins playing in background)

(Michael King) #76

Good point. What we should look like is not the average weight because that has shifted.

(Todd Allen) #77

I got heavier slowly over a long period of time and didn’t much think about it or see it as a fixable problem. I tend to not focus on things I don’t know how to address. And compared to my peers many if not most were heavier than me. It was only after I started losing weight that I realized I was obese and I could do something about it. Now I monitor my body fat % and have a much better sense of what an ideal level for me is. I’m not there yet but still slowly making progress.

And on my journey to better health I’ve encountered several people worried about my thinness. I don’t think a single one of them has a clue about their body fat % or what range would be best for their own health. But seeing someone continuing to get thinner gets their attention. And presents the question is this thin person getting too thin or am I and most everyone else I know getting too fat? They stay with the comfortable answer.

(Marta Loftfield) #78

@PaulL so true

(Liz ) #79

I was 100 pounds heavier last time my aunt saw me at my wedding in 2002. When she saw me last week she asked my husband if I’d lost weight on purpose & he reassured her I did.

(Joe) #80

People often have 100 pound weight losses by accident. You know because it’s so easy…

(Joe) #81

Again today my mom… who always had something to say about my weight dropped the I think you are getting too skinny line. Sometimes you can’t win for losing.

(Take time to stop and eat the bacon) #82

“Son, you need to lose some weight. Here, have some chocolate cake. I made it just for you!”

(Gail Posey) #83

In the past I have asked, " did you lose weight on purpose?" I had a couple of years where several relatives lost a lot of weight due to medical issues.

It’s the only way people “normally” lose that much weight! I feel so lucky,

(Kellie) #84

I am 5’5 , female , started keto at 184 pounds. Bmi says that’s obese . I am 171 right now but would like to be in the 140 range . People always tell me that’s too thin. No it’s not it’s in the healthy range for bmi and I have been lower than that before (4-5 years ago) I get so irritated like be being thinner is less healthy than me being fat hahaha I also have people that say I can never be that thin again ( due to building muscle ) my goal is more than likeley to be 145-150 but who knows maybe once I get there I will want to go lower or build more muscle. For now I’m taking it as it comes and trying to shed weight. Whatever weight I feel happy with in the end is what my ultimate goal is but for the sake of it I just put a number out there .

(Karl) #85

It’s kind of a sad state of affairs when you think about it. I was at a social event yesterday and saw a bunch of people I haven’t seen in quite some time. Of course, I was north of 300 last they saw me, and now i’m 165 - so the inevitable questions came up. It didn’t help the social event was a wake, so I guess assumptions were made about me.

Thankfully a few people were brave enough to ask me what was going on, but rather than be completely unbelievable, I just told people I was “watching what I eat and exercising more.” I know this crowd. There’s no way they were ever going to believe that I lost weight by eating fat and not really exercising. They’d be more likely to believe something crazy like “engaging in a new meth habit” and be more accepting of it.

But i’m saving THAT one for my next family reunion :slight_smile:

(Sophie) #86

OMG, do we travel in the same social circles!? :rofl::laughing::rofl:
And my friends watched me go from morbid obesity to overweight and they still continue to refer to my “diet” as restricted blah blah blah. But I have to admit that there are one or two that I’ve noticed kicking bread to the side or omitting starch or sugar. Maybe there is still some hope. I just keep on keepin on. They can fuel their vehicles how they see fit. I can only drive mine.

(Bella) #87

They are soooooo jealous :smiley:

(LeeAnn Brooks) #88

A lot of people are saying it’s societal, but in my experience it’s straight up jealousy.

Here’s why: I notice a definate positive difference in the way I’m received by strangers when I’m small vs when I’m heavy. This was VERY noticeable when I was going to college, but I still see and feel it now.
Just the other day I had a stranger overhear I was doing Keto and decided to put her two cents in on how “dangerous” it was, but that was directed at her misconceptions of the WOE, not towards me. If someone is clueless about how I eat and is just reacting to me, they are more engaging and friendly when I am small. Maybe it’s feeding off my own confidence, but it’s still palpable.

Yet people who know me and have seen me in both stages are the ones who give me flack. Not everyone of course. There are plenty of people who are genuinely supportive of my weight loss. But there’s also lots that say “you’ve lost enough” and “don’t lose any more, you’re getting too skinny.” Or the worst, “come on, you can have a donut. It’s not going to kill you.”
And I’ve even had family members try to sneak food onto my plate. Not out of concern that I’m actually under eating mind you. But because they found it funny. Like would you sneak whisky into someone’s drink if you knew they were a recovering alcoholic? Or blow smoke in an ex smokers face? Maybe I just have crappy family members?
Anyway, it’s made me a bit cynical about this topic. When strangers treat you better because you’ve lost weight but people you know treat you worse, thats not society believing we should have more meat on our bones. That’s people being jealous of other’s successes.

(Sophie) #89

Amen Sista, well said! Jealousy is a very real stumbling block for many people. It is destructive and undermining, but there nonetheless. We just have to figure out when it’s rearing its ugly head, and when to turn our backs to it. It’s not easy, but something we deal with when we are losing weight (minus exercise!) and regaining our health and stamina. Many a “friend” has been lost in the process but those “friends” are probably best lost in the long run.

(Jeanette Villanueva) #90

Love the snarky reply. I think im gonna use that :grin: