Weight / weight loss & emotional stress

(icky) #1

So apart from menopause, I’ve had some pretty heavy-duty stressors going on in my life the last few years… Like divorce, job loss, moving house, getting ill, best friend dying, etc. etc. It’s been a seriously rough few years and those are just the highlights… Ugh… Oh yeah, and there was a pandemic and inflation in there somewhere too…

I’m starting to wonder whether it’s not just my menopausal metabolism that’s caused my weight gain, but that emotionally and physically my system seems to think that in times of stress/ crisis/ uncertainty, you’re better off having a few calories to spare and a bit of blubber around your middle that you can live off, just in case times get harder still.

I’m wondering whether I need to just let my body have those “reserves” if that’s what it says it wants. I’m not unhealthily obese… I’m just overweight… And since it’s not weight from eating carbs, I guess from a medical point of view, it’s not so much of a problem.

If my system has an evolutionary safety mechanism of “in hard times, pack on a few pounds more” then maybe I have to accept that it’s a not-too-awful coping mechanism? I mean, there’s so many far worse coping mechanism, so I guess I could be grateful my system isn’t choosing those?

Maybe I have to leave weight loss for when things have (hopefully) settled down again a bit more.

I guess I’ve just been annoyed/ frustrated/ disheartened by so many things going badly and then getting fat ON TOP OF the other stuff going on… That’s felt like one crappy thing too much and it seemed like something that I potentially could and should control…

I think I might let this issue go for now tho… Focus on getting my life back into a more comfortable order and trust that weight loss can be dealt with when my pile of stressors has gone back down to more normal levels…

(Robin) #2

Life happens. Our weight can be a back burner issue, especially if you are eating healthy.
And if you are down to your last 20 or so pounds… that can happen over a year’s time in plain old maintenance.
It takes time. And TIME on plan is what will eventually convince your body that you are not going to starve or yo-yo.
So, Don’t sweat the scales. Just focus on healthy food and call it good.
You got this!

(Joey) #3

As @robintemplin says, life happens.

Stress is a surefire way to rattle a metabolism - no less one’s sense of well being in general.

If you’re eating healthy foods, making time for meaningful physical activity, and trying to get the sleep your body deserves, there’s no point making any demands on your body to respond in ways it’s not currently wired to respond given the inevitable stressors (hormones, age, household change, emotional losses…).

For you, weight (more accurately: body proportions) may just be something you can’t worry about at this time given all those transitions underway.

But please don’t make things worse by depriving yourself of the nourishment, activities, and best sleep patterns you can manage… these are the things you deserve to get through the tough times in your best possible condition. :vulcan_salute:

(icky) #4

Thanks :blush:

I know you’re both right…

I think it was my brain being stupid… Psychology is such an interesting thing… I think because things were going badly that were out of my control… My brain sort of latched onto things that were in my control - for example, my weight - and figured that if I can get those things to go right, then at least not “everything” is going wrong… or something like that…

I guess it just felt like it was “just another thing I was failing at”… Sigh… Am I being a bit hard on myself at all there…? :thinking:

So I’ll go with this then and trust that this is the best investment I can make and trust that everything else (including my weight) will eventually sort itself out…

(Joey) #5

Yes indeed. It’s amazing how much influence we have over the inputs … it’s the outputs that are then largely out of our hands. Onward!

(Robin) #6

Totally understand the urge to control SOMETHING!
I tend to sort, organize, and toss.
Getting rid of clutter in my life quiets the noise in my brain.

(KM) #7

I hope this is encouraging and not a humble-brag, but I also find the opposite to be true. When something turns around and starts going better, it can be a spiral. And it can start with some silly thing. My hair is finally starting to grow in again, and my poison ivy is just discolorations that I know will fade, not making me want to tear my skin open and leap out of it. Which makes me just that leeetle bit less stressed and off balance when I get out of bed. Which makes me feel just a tiny bit more confident, like I can handle the next thing that comes up. And when I do, my body itself seems to power up and grow happier, and it’s a rare day that I feel this way and have the scale betray me. It’s a dumb example, but I find the little wins can make a big difference.

Sending positive little wins your way this morning!

(Liz ) #8

Stepped on the scale and cried this morning then felt ridiculous! But the struggle is SO REAL and I can’t even express how much I relate to your post. You are not alone!! Perimenopause, difficult caregiving, best friend dying last year, etc etc etc yes. Then, knowing I’m on the right keto track but still feeling disappointed! Ugh! Maybe it’s something silly we can safely feel bad about without completely falling apart? Hang in there, hugs!!

#9

Remember, you have survived 100% of your worst days. We all have or have had things going on; life is not perfect. I’m not trying to minimize what you have stated, but I know many on this forum, including myself, that have been rocked to their very core numerous times. It’s how we deal with it, hour by hour, day by day, week by week, and year by year. Rumination, I have found, makes it so much worse. Even the simplest of things can help, such as a gratitude journal. Abigail Shrier has done some good work.