@lfod14 actually a lot of what males consider ācomplimentsā in the workplace and other places (even online forums) is inappropriate in its delivery (often not based on any kind of established rapport that would involve family-like personal commentary) - and there are very distinct power dynamics involved. One could say that no personal compliment is completely legit and non-creepy when it comes from a higher ranking male to a lower ranking female - and also, the degree of female receptivity to such has conventionally been used to judge job performance by male managers - which is whack. No, men arenāt getting fired for compliments, theyāre getting fired for patterns of self-catering unprofessional conduct towards women/people of color/gays/lesbians/disabled etc, ie, harassment by those who experience it. Most professional women arenāt interested in or trapped in playing servile or cheerleader roles in order to keep the income/deal going - and when we are truly autonomous and donāt smile or arenāt receptive, we are sometimes officially labeled as insubordinate - or become the topic of sexist commentary. There are exceptions of course, there are some women who do conform to that male-catering rapport hierarchy for their own survival reasons. And others out of narcissism and little concern for the social compact and personal integrity, let alone female solidarity (just as there were female nazis who ran the Ravensbruck womenās prisonā¦).
Scahillās knee-touching behavior and general conduct was indeed unpro and thus creepy - and Iām glad Virta fired his ass. The entitlement to objectify/dehumanize/deprofessionalize females is actually harassing conduct. Similar when a white person talks about a black personās hair and touches it - itās entitled behavior that is stressful to the other person. Add to that a higher rank of the male or white person or abled person etc, and itās even more abusive. Iāve experienced unwelcome touches by higher ranking males who think if they donāt contact the āerogenous zonesā and instead just touch my shoulder, low back, or knee - itās somehow OK to not respect personal bodily boundaries. Itās always been experienced as creepy by me - unlike the loving clearly fatherly or brotherly relationships I have outside my job. Itās generally never OK to blur those lines in a professional relationship - itās uncool.
And in an intimate personal relationship, in a society that respects women - thereās ongoing communication about consensuality day by day depending on various circumstances (and of course, both sexual harassment, date rape, and marital rape have been illegal for a long time) etc. If a couple is in a significant argument and a man touches the woman arrogantly, it will be unwelcome until such time that the verbal communication has actually completed and the issue itself resolved. IMHO this was wonderfully depicted in the much-loved and awarded American TV show Cagney & Lacey in the 1980s about the friendship of two very different women who happen to be cops - by the pro-womenās rights character Harvey (played by John Karlen) - a show also loved in Britain and other countries). The whole showās run is now available on DVDs, and itās fabulous - I recently finished watching the complete collection, really enjoyable. They cover a wide range of social issues through a humanist/human development lens.
