Unsupportive spouse


(Georgia) #21

I’m sorry you aren’t being supported by your wife. My cat doesn’t say much when I eat in front of him, and I like it that way.

That being said, if you eat avocado or tomatoes, you are eating fruit.

My snarky side would want to tell her that her saying the same thing for 10 years hasn’t work, so why should it change now? And I’d tell her she’s not the beneficiary of any life insurance policy, so hastening my demise by pushing her agenda will have no financial benefit to her.

('Jackie P') #22

(Robbyn ) #23

Kiss her often, and thank her for caring about you and for making delicious meals. When she expresses concern about any specifics periodically, tell her you love her and you will be sure to be safe. It takes time but the longterm results will speak for themselves :slight_smile:

(PJ) #24

So @danmaryd that Gary Fettke video above about fruit is really good – and humorous! Worth a watch (with your wife hopefully!).

(Laurie) #25

Some here have suggesred educating your spouse, while others say the less said the better. I think it depends on your personality and persuasion skills.

I’m no good at debating, so I stay away from conversations where one side tries to convince the other. Sometimes one person is better at arguing, and the other person doesn’t have a chance.

If you’re like me, maybe engage as little as possible on this topic. Change the subject, thank her for caring, etc. You already know what she will do or say, so prepare a few responses you can fall back on.

As @Robbyn_AndJack has suggested, kisses might be good!

Good luck!

(Who says ya can't do this long term?) #26

Thanks again all. Yep I do have berries, tomatoes & avocados and have watched the Dr Fettke video.
Unfortunately she refuses to watch or read any more of my info so I will say the least amount as possible and do my thing.

I agree with that but in this case it’s “Happy wife, happy but shorter, heavier & unhealthy life” if I follow what hasn’t worked in the past. So time will tell and results will have to do the speaking.

(KCKO, KCFO) #27

I hope she comes around and can be happy with a healthy, slender hubby. KCKO.

(Joey) #28

@ danmaryd

Perhaps I have a slightly different take on this than others might…

It sounds like your wife is not just a bit “controlling.” Based on your post, It sounds like she is way over the top. This may have resulted from her assuming over time that being this way toward you is okay with you.

Based on everything you’ve shared, it’s pretty clear that her trying to control you is not okay with you. Or, perhaps, it’s just finally gotten to the point where it’s no longer okay with you.

You have the right - in any relationship - to tell others where your personal boundaries are. In fact, I’ll say it more emphatically… you have a responsibility to yourself to tell others where those boundaries are if they’re not being respected. And it sounds like they are not.

Remind your wife, politely but firmly, that you are an adult and what you choose to put in your own mouth is not her business. Period. Same goes for your kids, friends, neighbors, etc.

Would you ever consider treating your wife the way you’ve described she is now treating you? I sincerely doubt it.

At some point, if your personal choices as to what you want to eat for the sake of your own good health are treated by your wife with the kind of disrespect they are now, then I’m afraid you may have no choice but to reevaluate whether this is a healthy marital relationship for you. I know that’s a serious statement and so I don’t make it lightly.

What you are doing to improve your health is admirable. I wish you the very best in regaining the control and respect you clearly deserve over your own body.

(Murphy Kismet) #29

If I gave my mother even one study, she’d never read it, and just stick to her guns about her beliefs. She’s a retired nurse to boot. :roll_eyes:

(Eleanor ) #30

My friend has diabetes and has been on Keto since January. She has dropped about 30 lbs. I found a new primary Dr and he is on Keto. I also discovered the Sweets Keto cookbook. I bet your wife would love some of those recipes. Over time and more and more blood tests will convince her what your doing is the right thing for her. Good luck.

(PSackmann) #31

I’m also lucky to have a supportive spouse, although he won’t try keto himself. So, I give him the respect he gives me, by not commenting on what he chooses to eat, at least not very often. Not that you’re commenting on what your wife eats @danmaryd, it works for us. I do the cooking and shopping, I don’t comment when he wants me to buy cookies and ice cream, he doesn’t comment when I won’t eat it. Not sure where this is going, except that maybe it’s a good idea to stop discussing for a while. Just a calm “no thank you, I don’t want that” without an explanation for a bit, until your wife becomes more accepting. Or not, in which case it’s just a matter that the two of you eat differently.


Do what you know works for you. Two things are certain - misery loves company and people don’t like change.