This is one reason why people shouldn’t weigh. It’s easy to get obsessive over the number on a scale. You’ve lost 100 lbs in a year. That’s quite a bit and might be over what your body is “willing” to lose in a year. Weight loss needs to take TIME so that your body’s set point has a chance to adjust as you lose the weight. It sounds to me like you’ve forced the weight loss with the repeated fasting so now when you do eat, it’s “extra” fuel and your weight starts to creep back up.
You already know that you need to avoid the carbage, but you also just need time. Time to settle into your lower weight (it truly does NOT matter if it’s 120 or 132), make that the new normal and then, when you try to lose a few more pounds, it’ll be easier. But right now, if you’re in a cycle of fasting to drop scale weight, then eating carbage, fasting to drop the numbers again, etc, you’re doing more damage to your metabolism than good.
I’d like to gently ask you whether 120 is really where your body is most healthy and comfortable. Your weight loss was a huge accomplishment and it’s pretty common to become quite focused on a specific number on the scale when you’ve worked so hard on changing those numbers.
Now that you’ve reached a healthier body composition, might your body be pushing you “out of control” because it needs just a few more pounds to be at a solid place?
This might be especially true if you’ve added muscle and your body fat percentage has dropped too low.
When you’re eating to satiety and following a keto diet, does your body seem to “like” a weight of 130ish? What if 130 is the best place for your physical self? Can you feel strong and calm at that weight?
My recommendation (and this advice is worth every penny you’re paying me!) would be to get your nutrition/carbs back in line and do a little self-experiment to see where your weight stabilizes.
You’ve already accomplished a lot! And this accomplishment required some pretty intense focus on changing habits. You’ve reached a point where the next step is releasing some of that focus and observing how small adjustments in your habits and expectations can optimize your physical AND mental health.
Thank you for your responses. The problem with deciding that 130lbs is good enough is I don’t seem to have the mental tools right now to maintain any weight. I am either striving to get back to 120lbs or gaining indefinitely. Statistics are not on my side as far as keeping this weight off and I’m sure my “set point” is still up in the obese category.
I think I need to commit myself to 3 months strict keto without weighing myself to really let myself get fat adapted again before I try to push it more with OMAD, carnivore, or extended fasting.
But if I could just fast for 10 days I would be back at goal again and can work on being strict keto after that…
From my personal experience over the years, and having lost and gained weight back before - it requires a shift in thinking. While there are certainly plenty of physical, biological things at work, long term weight loss and maintenance is all a mental game.
You need to reprogram your brain, and you can do it with your own words. This has been the key for me.
You are creating a new self. Not just physically, but who you are - your self image.
Instead of saying “I can’t eat a candy bar” - change the narrative: “I am a person who does not eat candy bars.”
In the first case, you are being denied something you want. In the second case, you are being true to your core identity. You just have to spend the time building that core identity that you want to have.
For instance, I am assuming you don’t smoke. In that case, if someone were to offer you a cigarette, you’d say “No thanks, I don’t smoke.” Not “I desperately want that cigarette but I am using willpower to resist.” Because you’re not a smoker. Or not a drinker, if you don’t drink.
See the difference? In one case, it’s an activity you aren’t partaking in. In the other, it is NOT WHO YOU ARE.
For me at least, treating carbs (and especially sugar) like an addictive substance, which required utter abstention from sweets, including artificially sweetened foods, has been a key component of my success. Of course I don’t eat “just one” cookie. I am not a person who eats cookies.
It seems like word games, but you basically reprogram your mind, and over time it becomes automatic. It is not an overnight thing, of course, so you have to burn some willpower while creating your new self image. But once that is in place, you don’t need willpower to resist things that you DON’T do, because that’s not you.
I feel like this a lot when I am stressed. It is called emotional eating, and I know what it’s like: you just want the carbs, right? It makes you feel better, calmer, able to cope. Been there. Probably still am. It is called an addiction.
[I am 54 years old and I am addicted to carbs. It is 4 months since my last carb blowout…]
My advice is this: be prepared. When you go to work, take what you intend to eat with you. I did this to get through some tough times… what was my keto snack of choice? Cold slices of bacon. When you get stressed and hungry at work, eat your keto snack. It worked for me. Try it.
Oh, and again, I am so here with you. I have a serious maintenance problem. I can lose weight real easy (I sense so can you). But I can’t keep it off. It just comes right back as soon as life gets hard. My advice on this is simple: don’t ever stop trying to find the solution. This is worth it. This is you and your life. It is the difference between having a great last half of life and having a miserable one. That is what is at stake. It is worth focusing on. It is worth climbing back on the wagon again and again and again.
Not sure if you have read my struggles and the advice I was given, most of it great advice. Your story resonates with me, it may be worth a read.
Yes! I think you should just try eating keto, only when you’re hungry and take the fasting out of it for a minute. It sounds like withholding food is leading to binge eating.
This seems like it would be perpetuating a cycle that hasn’t been working for you and is adding stress, anxiety and depression. Also, you’re more than a number on the scale, your ability to fast, and your size. You’re a person which is bigger than an image. Try to be kind to yourself, best wishes.
I am a fellow sugar/carb addict. Keto goes a loooong way in helping to curb cravings and keep things under control, but once an addict…If you continue to have trouble staying on track it might be helpful to find some resources to address the mind/spirit part of that addiction.
My 2 cents… Skip the scale and fasting for the 3 months you mentioned… Try to find a balanced eating pattern to avoid gluttony and yet eat until satiated. Something more sustainable. You have done fantastic already!! Don’t forget that!! You have proven you’re very capable so just relax and reset. Stress = Cortisol as well so… Work on sleeping, relaxing and eating keto foods until satiated. Be patient with yourself! This frustration for people after getting quick and big results like you have already gotten seems fairly common. We’re always a work in progress.
I keep seeing the word snacking here. This is something I need to watch too. I am good about staying with keto snacks like almonds and macadamia nuts but it is still snaking. I think what I am really craving is the salt. When it hits I go and get the salt grinder and put some in my palm. I pop it in my mouth and get a good drink of water. Good to go now.
Ding Ding Ding…I have twice bought a 2lb bag of Salted Macadamia nuts at ~$30 per and they were gone within a week… Soo snack naughty… I probably just needed a salt lick half the time if not more. Thanks for ringing the doorbell.
You mentioned mental tools and targets etc otherwise you are just losing or gaining with no end in sight. Have you tried looking at the Adonis Index stuff by Brad Pilon etc. It gives you a sense of what a good aesthetic might be in terms of the best shoulder and waist circumference for your height. If nothing else it gives you a target that’s anchored on something
I did well losing until I got to 127 and then when I tried to push below that with fasting over 24 hours, reducing calories, etc the scale did not comply and I often ended up overeating. I was constantly fighting where my body wanted to be. I decided that if I stayed at 127 the rest of my life that would be WONDERFUL and that I needed some experience with simply maintaining. I’ve now been between 124 and 132 for over six months, mostly near the higher side. And I’m eating twice what I was when worrying and pushing so much. This is a darn cool place to be in the scheme of things.
I do weigh every morning but use WHERE I AM as my goal. I understand that pattern you mention of either striving or gaining indefinitely. For me, learning to be okay with being in the middle has been the most important part of this journey. And I realized it isn’t really about food. This is a pattern in my life that showed itself in my eating, and by adapting my eating it has helped me heal the same behavior in other areas.
How? There are three main keys for me.
I’m learning that I would rather know the truth and to be comfortable being uncomfortable as long as I am willing to adjust when needed. I weigh every day because I’ve lost weight in the past and regained. One of the ways this happened is that I stopped weighing. For me this indicated that I was trying to hide my behavior from myself, knowing I was eating things not in my best interest and not wanting to face it. Maintaining HAS TO have days of going up to be able to have days of going down. I have a “scream” weight of 130. If I see 127, 126.5, 128.2… I stay on course. But when I saw 131.1 one morning I cut back to just liquids (coffee with some cream, tea, a green powder drink with 50 calories) and the next day was back under 130. Probably extra water or something. But I corrected before I had gone very far off track. More importantly, I started to feel less out of control and more empowered that if I go off a bit I can get back on track right away.
I’m training myself to feel good about my behavior rather than the immediate readings from outside. If I get some walking or other movement in, eat under my carbs and don’t go way overboard eating lower carb foods I can feel good about the day no matter what the scale or ketone readings say the next morning. If I stay with my tried and true meals like eggs, bacon and cheese the scale follows back down to near 127.
When I eat higher carbs, or often even low carb treat-style things, I want to eat more. Biologically it is fine if I eat a fat bomb or bar or whatever, but often it makes things much harder emotionally. I’m learning picking a plan for the day (or hour or situation) and follow it, that feels much better than struggling over the treat. Not to say I never should or never will eat certain things, but when I catch myself greatly restricting to lose or eating excessively I go back to the basic meals I trust and get to feel the ease of things stabilizing.
This is already too long but I feel a connection with you and what you are going through. As I said, this is all reflective of patterns in my life and learning these techniques has rippled through in ways that are pretty amazing. It sounds to me like you already have a good sense of what is happening with you. It won’t always be easy but I believe you will find the right solutions and settle into balance.
By doing this I think you negated all the benefits of doing a fast. Why put yourself through the fasting effort only to refeed with carbs? Stick with low carbs fatty proteins after your fast. You’ll feel much better physically and mentally because you’re going to reap the benefits of your efforts. Be proud of those kind of accomplishments. Be strong. Keep some keto friendly foods at your workplace so you don’t have to cave into carb cravings.
You’ve answered your own question about why you can’t maintain your losses.
Thank you so much for your reply. Can I ask more details about your eating habits to maintain your weight? Do you stick to a certain amount of meals at certain times? Do you track your food in any way? How long have you been maintaining? Thank you!!
There’s the place to start. First, why are you hungry? Is it just stress, or are you not eating enough? Secondly, why are you snacking on carbs instead of protein and fat? Where does this carb-laden food come from? Do you really have to visit the vending machine? Can’t you keep pepperoni and pork rinds in your desk or locker for emergencies?
What would happen if you brought a cooler bag with bacon-and-cream-cheese, butter, a favorite cheese (I like buttered Brie, personally), and perhaps a Thermos full of heavy cream? If you snacked on that stuff instead of the carbage, don’t you think that would fill you up? What kind of lunch do you pack? Should it be something with more fat in it, to satisfy your hunger? Do you really need to be fasting, if it’s going to make you vulnerable to carbohydrate-laden foods?
Were I in your place, these are the questions that would be going through my mind, anyway.
I used to track every single thing that I ate and could not have made it here without that. Recently I changed so that I don’t track as long as I am eating the same stuff I have been. My go-to meal is an egg, some bacon, and cheese. I make sure the bacon doesn’t have a sweet taste. I can eat this over and over and always feel “safe” that I am making a good choice. Just as with tracking, when and how many times I eat is very different 17 months in than it was a year ago. It was important to me to focus on just a few things because those alone were restrictive enough. I tracked everything and stayed strictly under 20 carbs, closer to 10 because I don’t end up eating a lot of vegetables. I boil a half dozen eggs and bake a big pan of bacon and have these and cheddar cheese always available at work. Whenever I could follow that, I had success. When I ate more treats, even keto ones, I tended to overeat and feel out of control. I have been learning that I LIKE feeling in control and DISLIKE feeling out of control. The more that I eat things I don’t feel good about, the less good I feel about me. Then I go back to my “safe” meals for two or three days and everything works. Cravings greatly reduce. I am in ketosis and don’t gain. In the last couple of months have I been trying restricted eating times and similar. But when I tried these things earlier in my journey they really threw me off. I either restricted too much or went the other way and overate and again, felt out of control and pulled by strong urges. Everyone is different but I am going to talk for a bit as If you are like me… My suggestion is to go to the basics, pick some things to eat that are very low carb. Eggs and bacon and fatty meat. Some hard cheese. A bit of cream and butter but not adding extra fat to meet any certain macros. Have these things always available and eat them as much as you want but DO NOT eat carby junk or it is a big setback each time. And simply DO THIS. For a while. A few weeks. A couple of months. Be successful! If you want, then adjust one thing at a time and see if it works for you. However, FEELING THINGS WORK is so important. Feeling overwhelmed and confused and unsure is very stressful. If I stay under 130 forever that will be a good place to be.
Knowing self and designing a system that caters to how you are (rather than how you wish you were) is the key to success in life.
My lifestyle, my physiology, my inclinations, make it much easier for me to control when I eat more strictly than what I eat. Optimizing my health requires that I maintain a state of ketosis. Since I’m no longer overweight, I use GKI as a marker. I adhere to a fasting regime that is adjusted based on what I eat. If I eat under my personal carb threshold, I can eat every day. When I eat above my threshold, depending on degree (amount, frequency) I may need to fast from 24-72 hours. This is my guide, not my bible. There are periods of time and occasions that override what my marker indicates.
