Throw me a Keto Lifeline! Seeking encouragement

(less is more, more or less) #21

Welcome, LB, it’s good to make your acquaintance. It is a great bunch of encouraging and helpful people here.

You should find an endless buffet of all three, here.

Our bodies are all different, so it’s conceivable that you won’t find the weight-loss you’d like. However, weight-loss is a benefit, but not the goal, of eating low-carb food. That said, eating low-carb is a level of self-understanding that is extraordinary. Particularly when you can either a) “know thyself” or b) “eat some Pringles.” Guess which choice is more difficult, yet more rewarding?

Oh, my. That’s a lot. Thank God you have a supportive family. I will pray for your young family.

I’m a big advocate that we’re not just machines. While the ketogenic process helps us better understand how we can live a healthier life, it, alone, doesn’t help us make the emotional leap. The Standard American Diet is, we now know, wired to addict us to it. You’ve got a lot on your plate and you don’t need the stress of making a radical change into something so fundamentally important as your diet adding stress.

To answer your questions:

  1. Stress is just plain bad, no matter what
  2. Low-carb will help you with dealing with stressful situations. It’s amazing how foggy our thinking is on carbs, but diet alone is insufficient. Focus on growing your actual and virtual support system. Find someone you trust that you can confide in. Maybe he or she can help you with your children to give you some, any, alone time. It helps to know people have your back.
  3. I’m an emotional eater, it’s still something I struggle with. Others conquer it. You might want to stop with the nuts. Nuts are notoriously addictive. I find that bulletproof coffee helps, as does pork rinds or cheese sticks. I also suggest switching from net to total carbs. Some people say that introduces stress, but you’ll have a more honest accounting of what your eating.

I wish you all the best on your journey. The fray, here, will be happy to help you along.

(Hyperbole- best thing in the universe!) #23

Ok, this is a lot of hormonal stuff going on. Keto is not primarily a weight loss diet. It is a hormone balancing diet. Your body just may need the time to do some internal housework before it can get on to losing weight. The good news is that it has worked for you in the past.

Between the physical things your body has been handling and the stress of a whole new life, and the emotional strain of ending a relationship (even if it needed to end, I don’t know your situation) this is so much for your body to handle.

Give your body credit for taking you this far under difficult circumstances! Now it is your turn to take care of it. Maybe weight won’t come off at a rate you want it to for a while but that doesn’t mean important healing isn’t happening.

I’m so glad you found us. Please let us know how you are doing, and ask for help when you need it. Then use your experience to help the next person. :orange_heart:

(Bob M) #24

I’ve killed a lot of things: fat bombs, nuts, yogurt, anything sweet, anything fake (like “bread”), and the like. I try to keep to real food only. These all can make me overeat.

(Laurie) #25

Hi, @KetoLB! Your post rang a lot of bells for me, and my heart goes out to you. I started to write a long reply, but I deleted it.

Although you have a lot of challenges, keto actually presents you with an opportunity to simplify one aspect of your life: the food part. A few suggestions:

Don’t think about “moderation” foods that you’re “allowed” to eat, such as nuts. Before you know it, you’ll be grabbing two or three of those 1-ounce portions because you’re in a hurry or you deserve a treat or it’s Saturday night. Next thing you know, you’re going for the whole jar, or maybe buying a Snickers bar because it contains nuts, or . . . ah, nuts! Stick to the basics: meat, eggs, fish, cheese. MAYBE you can have nuts once in a while, but limit yourself to specific situations, e.g., only if someone offers you some.

Similarly, don’t feel that you need to incorporate vegetables into your diet. They can add interest to a meal, but you don’t need them. And they can be a slippery slope: kale today, sweet potatoes tomorrow, then ordinary potatoes. Ensure that you have enough meat, eggs, fish, and cheese in the house, and save yourself the hassle of buying and cooking vegetables. I don’t actively avoid vegetables, but I don’t go looking for them either.

Intermittent fasting can take some of the pressure off too. Typically this means confining your daily eating to a 4-, 6-, or 8-hour window. You can quickly adapt to skipping at least one meal a day; you probably won’t even feel hungry. This means less cooking, less stopping to eat when you’re working or on the road, etc., less temptation to eat iffy foods, etc.

If you eat with other people while working, don’t tell them you’re on keto. “The first rule of keto is, we don’t talk about keto.” People will say negative things about it, which will only add to your stress. Just say vague things like, “I can’t eat sugar,” or “No thanks, I’m fine. Really, I’m fine,” or, “I already ate/I’ll eat later.” If really pressed, you can say you prefer not to discuss it.

I think you get the idea! Of course, you still have to deal with your children’s food needs. But at least you can simplify your own eating.

You will face some challenges and need to tweak a few things. We’ll be here to help you with that.

(Laurie) #27

??? I’m not.

I do eat vegetables. But not a lot. They’re a lot of work and not worth it to me. And my experience is apparently different from yours; I don’t feel hungry if I skip them. Perhaps I should have said “not everyone” needs them.

I was also a mother, but I didn’t experience the bonding or joy you described in your other post. Shall we agree to disagree?

(Hyperbole- best thing in the universe!) #29

Debating issues is fine. Please no personal attacks.

(Laurie) #30

I don’t feel attacked. If I attacked anyone, I apologize.

(Hyperbole- best thing in the universe!) #31

Okay, I’m glad all is well.

(Laurie) #32

I’m afraid some of the subtleties of human interaction are lost on me. I considered carefully before posting; I guess on some level I knew my response might be problematic. If @Ruina or @Ketoloco (or anyone else) feels I did wrong, please PM me with specifics so I won’t repeat my mistake. Thanks.

If Ruina was referring to Ketoloco’s comment about my “failure,” I’m not offended by that at all. My problems and shortcomings aren’t Ketoloco’s fault!

(Hyperbole- best thing in the universe!) #33

you’re okay, don’t worry

(squirrel-kissing paper tamer) #36

Laurie, you make a good point. We shouldn’t assume all mothers have the same experience being a mother. Thanks for your candid response. I will also add, I love veggies but don’t crave them for fiber. I love them for the crunch that I miss with the high fat foods. (Probably why I almost broke a tooth eating all these pork cracklins! The crunch! :rofl: )

(squirrel-kissing paper tamer) #38

Many, many, many men experience the joy of child rearing. You’re right, sis males aren’t equipped to give birth, but they can certainly partake in all of the other aspects of parenting.

I’m going to leave it at that so we don’t hijack this thread any further.

(squirrel-kissing paper tamer) #40

@Ketoloco this is a second warning regarding personal attacks. I’m flagging your post for deletion.

#43

HEY!

I totally agree with this statement. :slight_smile:

(The amazing autoimmune 🦄) #44

I think with all your stress, taking prednisone and I would guess not sleeping as much as you need that it is a miracle you lost in January. So congrats on losing some.

Think of it this way if you were not on Keto you probably would have gained some weight from stress and emotional eating.

So Keto for the win, I would suggest you read a few of the threads here, many people don’t lose a lot all at once, for most it is slow steady progress. Emphasis on slow.

Oh and welcome. Glad to have you on the board.

(PSackmann) #45

LB, I want to congratulate you on the steps you’ve taken to make your and your children’s lives better. Having two in two years is tough enough, without adding in the stress of an abusive marriage and becoming a single mother. If I were there I’d give you a big hug just for the strength you’ve already shown.
Now, focus on loving yourself as much as you can. Remind yourself that you deserve to feel amazing by staying on Keto. I promise, it does get better. You’ve received a lot of advice regarding eating, my suggestion is to stay as simple as possible, and cook as much ahead of time as you can, depending on your work schedule. Filling your freezer with healthy pre-cooked food will make it that much easier to stay on track.
Loving yourself includes not gauging your progress by the scale. For now, focus on your NSV’s (non-scale victories) and celebrate them daily. Don’t compare your results to others, whether it be pain relief, dropping sizes, or even improvement of moods, just focus on you. and come back to the forums often, there is a lot of good information here along with some great people

(C Kindred) #46

My favorite Celestial Tea is Tension Tamer. Good stuff! I will have to try it with cream.

(LB) #47

Thank you for this. I really do need to stop searching for a “quick fix” or “fast results”.

And you are right , Keto is not just about weightloss.

(LB) #48

I needed to hear this today. I got really stressed about a lot of things I’m shouldering due to my situation and fell off the wagon yesterday evening after a “perfect Keto day”. Today was not great either and I talked myself out of sabotaging the evening “just cuz”. I feel like some days I am Ok and other days I am tired, stressed, overwhelmed and always always always still having to hustle because two babies are depending on me. So yea…I totally stress eat or eat healthy but then stress keeps me up. I sometimes feel like I can feel the cortisol pulsating through my veins!! I am a determined and joyful person but sometimes this To Do and To Pat and To Avoid Paying lists get me and the AirBNB welcome Bar falls in a stressful
Person’s mouth :woman_shrugging:t5::slightly_frowning_face::scream:. Uggffh.

Why can’t I just be perfect and do Keto flawlessly and have the metabolism of a 22 year old :exploding_head:. Lol.
But I have no choice! My health depends on me committing to eating consistently well and I am struggling with even accepting that this is a new normal for me metabolically- let alone accepting that my current sources of stress won’t go away for some time.

But I have to remember that this is not a race or fad for me. I just wish I could not have these external factors as well! But I know that I can overcome my bad habits.

(LB) #49

Thank you for this. I actually wrote it down . “ I am not giving up on the basics no matter what”.

I need to stop being impatient. I feel like when I look and don’t like what I see, I get upset and stressed and it makes it easier to fall off or to make exceptions here and there. All for nought.

I’m trying to get mentally ready but I’m so used to tying that’s into a “race mode” or “intensity mode” versus an everlasting commitment, perhaps with no back to back dramatic result snippets.