YES! I have had this several times. I have started paying more attention to when and how it seems to happen to try and reduce. In all cases I believe the people were trying to do “good” as others say, but it is annoying. My general conclusion is that it makes the other people uncomfortable that I maintain my stated eating plan. While I am no longer uncomfortable with bread on the table and such, the others are. I imagine they feel sort of guilty eating in front of me and/or not eating as I do. Often they will say things about how they should be doing what I’m doing but can’t because of whatever reason. Holidays are coming up, they have kids, hypoglycemia or whatever. Earlier today we had an office potluck and twice people reached for cookies and commented to me about me. One said she needed to follow my example after the holidays. The other actually apologized. I think I said something like “That’s okay. I’ve had what I want to eat and so should you.” Depending on the situation, I’ve started saying something similar to… “now that I’ve been doing this for many months, I enjoy being able to go out and socialize with people and not have it be an issue. The best thing for me is if people don’t make a big deal out of it.”
Recently I went on vacation and visited with several family members. I purposely chose not to mention keto or diet or eating at all. But one person found it important to tell all the rest and then every time we were out they all talked about my food. Exactly like you said, they would look at the menu and say “Oh look! You could have the salad!” (with lettuce, tomatoes, cranberries, sugared pecans, and tortilla strips). Or “they have broccoli you can swap out for fries!” All of them proceeding to order high-carb options, although that wouldn’t matter.
I am not complaining about intentions. I am 1) interested in human behavior and psychology, and 2) working to come up with responses I feel the best about. I’m on the spot when this happens because I feel I need to either thank them, deflate them (yes, I see it in their reaction) by explaining why that isn’t a good choice for me, or basically say mind your own business. This is WAY more uncomfortable than the food temptations.
One thing that has helped in social food situations is limiting the special orders to only as much as is needed. For example, I went to lunch yesterday and ordered the bacon cheeseburger and there were no side options I would eat. Rather than ask for no bun and no fries I simply ordered like anyone else and didn’t eat them. It is wasteful, but I and my lunch partner were more comfortable with my “normal” filled plate and I just ate the parts I wanted and left the rest.
This has come up a lot for me and I am pleased to hear someone else sharing about similar challenges.
