Sustainability and Family Dinners

(Full Metal KETO AF) #21

Next time tell them you’re making dessert and serve them this.

The kids will love it and it’s good for them too. Win Win :cowboy_hat_face:

#22

Strangely, I more frequently hear this about people not being able to go without meat, and not even in an argumentative or keto situation (a definitely not keto coworker of mine a few weeks ago was talking about how he maybe could go a day without meat, but didn’t think he could go any longer, when we were just generally talking about food).

Even vegetarians I’ve known wouldn’t want to give up eggs, cheese, ice cream, etc. to go vegan.

(I’m not really hating on vegan foods myself, I think people can do that for a while too, this is just a rather odd argument from a vegan since it works so strongly against them).

In any case: whatever? You can have a ‘cheat’ meal once in a while, just try to make the ‘while’ long and the ‘once’ few for better health if that’s your goal. Early on I would do this for major holidays or my godson’s birthday and such, and honestly I would often just find out pretty quickly that, despite what was in my head, the carby stuff actually wasn’t that good and wasn’t worth the break. A lot of stuff I liked before I couldn’t stand anymore because of how sweet it all was (there were a couple notable exceptions that were typically chocolate, but that may be because I still have dark chocolate often when keto). Anyway, the point is, as others have said, it’s not the end of the world here. Keto isn’t typically a moral stance (unless your religion or moral code dictates only eating healthy, which I guess some do) nor a religious regulation (you didn’t break Kosher nor Halaal, nor drink the blood of strangled animals sacrificed to pagan gods). A lot of us have gone in and out or taken a day here or there. Ideal? No. But you’ll survive it, at least this time (happens too much, who knows, but you’re still here now).

That’s actually probably the best take away I heard from listening to John McDougall (famous advocate of the ‘starch diet’ and veganism for health). At one point he talked about people they felt needed certain things on certain days at least saying, “Fine, if you eat Turkey on Thanksgiving, you’ll survive it. If you eat cheesecake on your birthday, you’ll survive it. But not everyday can be Thanksgiving or your birthday.” For a lot of people the same can be said with keto and carbs (NOTE: There are some people for whom they really may not survive it, or may come to great injury from this, such as those doing keto for epilepsy control, so use some critical thinking as to whether this applies to your individual situation and whether you are willing to take the risks).

All that said, for myself, this kind of thing would have made me go, “oh yea? I’ll show you!” and keto all the harder, but that’s my personality.

#23

I’ve known for a long time I didn’t get fat by eating what I want on vacation, or on holidays. I got fat because I ate every day like I was on vacation or a holiday. Great thing to remember.

#24

@stsweet
I really feel for you, Susan. I’ve been in that position multiple times, and it seems like just one instance can derail a person. But don’t let it. The emotional fallout from have such an insensitive daughter can pull us into the emotional eating vortex, and before you know it…You’re right back where you started. But, for the sake of lending you some help/inspiration/motivation, I will tell you what changed me, and changed how I approach these situations.

(I explained this on another thread, so forgive me for the repetition if you’ve seen this already.) Several months ago, I was in an ICU room with my only sibling- my older brother- all 333 pounds of him in a 5’10" body. And, after seeing him suffer with diabetes for years, sleep apnea, morbid obesity, asthma, planters fascitis, high blood pressure, and alcohol abuse…I held his hand as he died. Leaving behind not only his little sissy, but also his wife and two young children, countless friends and relatives, business associates, etc… was nothing short of complete devastation. He was 52.

It was bad enough that we’d lost our parents, but, to lose my only sibling so young…there are no words. What’s worse, is that every. single. health issue he had was completely reversible. Through all these losses, my skin has grown increasingly thick, and my determination to lose weight and get healthy is beyond anything I’ve ever experienced. Not everyone is entirely sensitive to my mindset and lifestyle. My family still hoards carbs like there’s no tomorrow; relatives still eat senselessly -not thinking about what they;re putting in their mouths. At KFC yesterday, I told my daughter as she munched down a couple biscuits, “You’re going to pay for that later!” I pulled the crispy coating off the chicken, and ate only the meat along with the green beans and coffee. Nothing else. So, yeah. I turn the tables. If I know I’m going to get taunted (like your daughter did to you), I’ll take the offensive now, and let 'em have it.

I’m not a nasty person at all. But, I have suffered enough losses to shape how I think and approach eating…so much so that my passion for eating healthy (Keto) sometimes usurps politeness at the table. Does that make sense?

There is nothing unhealthy, or unsustainable about Keto. The unhealthy factor(s) here is your daughter and her attitude, and her attempt to derail you from experiencing life, health, happiness and success! You can do this!!!

Now, as my brother would have ordered me to do…“Pull up your big girl panties, and crack on!”

(Deborah ) #25

Plenty of thoughts, difficult to put into words.

I started keto last May because my younger son (who is 38 – and an RN!) had started keto a few months prior. He has since lost over 80 lbs. and looks amazing. I found it very insensitive of your daughter to laugh at your “failure”. You are not a failure! That was one instance; pick up and go on. Tomorrow is always another day.

I am fortunate that both of my sons and their wives are keto, so we’re on the same page regarding food. (Some of my birthday and Christmas presents last year were “keto CARE packages”. LOL!)

I have (easily) passed up birthday cake and other non-keto foods at family gatherings, and no one made a big deal of it. There’s almost always something you can eat of whatever’s offered, whether a home-cooked meal or at a restaurant. Even the food your daughter brought – you could’ve enjoyed the meat and cheese, just forget the rolls, chips and cupcakes.

What your daughter doesn’t seem to understand is that you lose your cravings for all the “carbage” you used to eat. If I have a craving now, it’s usually for STEAK.

Anyhow, just stay strong. You’re doing the right thing for you.

KCKO! :+1:

(squirrel-kissing paper tamer) #26

My family likes it when I eat carbs in front of them because they get the “I told you so” look on their face. I chew the non keto food and have the “I never eat this crap and you guys eat it three times a day 7 days a week” look on MY face.

The point being is that your family isn’t sitting in front of you for every meal. You can eat what is best for you at every meal and if you decide to eat carbs for a get together or a special event, so what if that’s what suits your family dynamic, keeps you from feeling uncomfortable and you can still remain on track 95% of the rest of the time.

It’s quite possible your daughter’s comment comes from a vegan place, not from a health perspective or lack of compassion for you. She may very well think keto is evil because of the amount of meat most keto diets consist of. Whatever the reason, nobody should shame their mother and hopefully you can tell her how that made you feel. Diet aside, it was mean.

I hope you dig down and remember the reason you started this journey in the first place and use that to stick with it. You’ve received a ton of support and there’s more where that came from!

#27

We use carbs in celebratory dishes, the occasional party food such as birthday cake or mince-pies.
You ate a cupcake, you joined in with your family, you celebrated together.
Brilliant.
And the cupcake? So what?
Keto after the party.

(Carl Keller) #28

I’d argue that humans and their relatives have thrived for over a million years with a very minimal reliance on carbohyrdrates. It’s only been recently that our diet has shifted toward a carb heavy dependency. Big Food has a very big influence on dietary recommendations and they would have you believe that we need carbs because it’s in their best financial interest. They even go so far as to spend lots of money trying to manipulate their products to make them as addictive as possible. In this sense, they are not much different than drug dealers. Addicts make the best customers.

I believe trying to be healthy and live longer is very much worth the effort. I’ve recently discovered how empowering it truly is to be free of my addiction to sugar and processed foods and to have control of what I eat, how much I eat and when I eat. The result has changed me spiritually and physically for the better. I feel 20 years younger and I’ve gone from surviving life, to living it. I hope you one day understand how amazing this feels. It was totally worth the effort and inconvenience.

(Jane) #29

Sorry, but this reminds me of my asshole East Texas cousins. Definitely something they would say and delight in someone caving into a weakness. The town is Mt Pleasant and my Mom always called it “Mt Misery”.

You’ve been given great advice here so nothing to add along those lines. I agree with @PetaMarie that your daughter probably feels threatened by keto and as a group they target keto because of all the meat we eat. Plus it gives them an outlet to vent all the negative feelings from being on such a nutrition-poor, crappy diet! :laughing:

(Full Metal KETO AF) #30

They have grilled chicken at KFC. That way you can avoid most of the processed oils too. I haven’t eaten there for a long time but it’s not bad and I have seen it listed in a low carb fast food option list. :cowboy_hat_face:

(Diane) #31

It tried the grilled chicken at KFC a long, LONG time ago and it was very dry. Maybe it’s better now. Worth trying again.

#32

I thought they had grilled chicken!!! And I searched through that menu 4 times, and could not find the grilled option. I was so mad!!! So, hubby bought the GIANT bucket of chicken for the 5 of us, and I got most of the green beans, but everyone else ate all the crappy stuff.

This place looked like an old, forgotten retro KFC…so maybe they never updated their menu. IDK. I was just mad that I couldn’t find the grilled stuff.

(Danielle) #33

Here’s the thing: the definition of sustainability is that it’s something that occurs regularly OVER THE LONG TERM. Sustainability is not the same as perfection. Sustainability means that you follow the keto way of eating often enough to see the benefits to your health.

Ask your daughter what would happen if she ate a piece of cheese or bacon. Would that mean that being a vegan is “unsustainable”? If a recovering alcoholic has a beer, is living an non-alcoholic life no longer “sustainable”? Of course not. We’re all human. The only sustainable truth about life is that sometimes it doesn’t go according to plan.

(Full Metal KETO AF) #34

I don’t know if it’s listed prominently on the menu board but when I used to eat there occasionally when you ordered they asked “original, extra crispy or grilled?”…:cowboy_hat_face:

#35

Sustainability really means that you can keep doing it for generations. Grass fed beef is sustainable. Most grains are not, the production will eventually deplete and poison the soil so much that either nothing will grow or we get mineral free grains. A carnivore diet with organs is sustainable, as generations are known to have lived well on it. The sad diet is not sustainable, because it kills people with all kinds of illnesses. Keto is sustainable, as it’s possible to get all necessary nutrients without a laboratory. Vegan is not, it has to rely on lab created supplements.

What I mean is that the way of eating itself is perfectly sustainable to both the human body and mother nature. So what about having a muffin or some sweets or fruit once in a while? Keto is not a weight-loss diet, and it never forbade carbs as a rare treat. Weight-loss is just a perfectly normal side effect of a sustainable diet.

(Cynthia Anderson) #36

I started Keto in August 2018. I’m not perfect and lots of days I go over on carbs. Some might consider me low carb not Keto.

My personal carb limit is 40g a day. Since August I’ve rarely gone over 100g a day.

I’ve lost 30lbs. I can’t stand milk chocolate now. I don’t get hangry anymore. I never got Keto breath but I do get carb breath if I have too many carbs.

I’m sure over time it gets easier. One or in my case dozens of bad days doesn’t mean it’s unsustainable. It just means you need more practice.

Keep calm. Keto on.

I honestly don’t see how vegans do it and my daughter is a vegan.