Really Wanted to Say Something to the Woman with the Costco Sized Vegetable Oil in Her Cart

(Sheri Knauer) #21

Extreme, unhealthy way of eating: butter

Not extreme, no one says a word:cookies

#22

What? Youā€™re eating BUTTER? Thatā€™s gonna kill you!

Wait a minute. Let me finish my cake. Nom, Nom, Nom.

(Running from stupidity) #23

Butter cake must be a dilemma :slight_smile:

(less is more, more or less) #24

I know. Iā€™ve recommended that book here repeatedly, as well as her work in general.

(Jane) #25

Does she have more than one book out? I only found ā€œThe Big Fat Surpriseā€ by her on Amazon and Audible.

#26

Speaking of sunflower oil - my understanding is that organic sunflower is cold-pressed, raw - and okay for body care and foods that arenā€™t heated. So, I make a little exception for allowing the organic sunflower that is used to stretch organic extra virgin olive oil for affordable pesto. Thatā€™s the only food I eat veg oils in, apart from occasional restaurant food. I mostly use coconut oil, butter, and homemade ghee!

btw - Being that pesto with organic Italian cheeses is very rare, I was happy to find this stuff on Amazon. Though my own homemade is far better of course when I have enough basil growing - this is a rare source for organic pesto from Italy (I donā€™t know if itā€™s available at Costco) that works out to cost $6 per little jar which is comparatively economical when you look at the organic pestos on Amazon!

https://www.amazon.com/Mantova-Organic-Pesto-Genovese-Ounce/dp/B00MH710AI/ref=sr_1_5_s_it

(Nicole Silvia) #27

Iā€™m glad you didnā€™t say anything.

Iā€™m concerned about the level of judgement being placed on a complete stranger here. Did you mention the 10 yr old as an indication that she may be a bad parent simply because her diet and lifestyle choices are different than your own?

You donā€™t know anything about these other people who are going about their lives and minding their own business. I have a high BMI (which is a BS label) and I would be appalled if I knew someone was glaring at me at the grocery store judging my basket full of bacon, butter and cheese.

What do they know about me? That I work 2 jobs to support my 2 kids, have been a single mother for 13 years, have a house, pets, friends, family, hobbies and that I can run over a dozen miles, am strong and healthy and could most definitely beat them at a boxing match or trivia???

I donā€™t believe in judging strangers for whatā€™s in their shopping cart or how theyā€™re BMI looks. I think thatā€™s really shallow and is a poor indicator of oneā€™s own self confidence.

#28

I had a similar thought/reaction, but less personal. I bought gallons of that stuff along with lots of other ā€œbreadstuffsā€ ($200+ worth) once, and that was because those items were on my assigned list for the food pantry/kitchen needs for our church. If someone came up to me and lectured me about what was in my cart at that point, well, it would have been ugly. (P.S. This was years ago, before I was keto. I would ask to purchase different items if asked again now.)

#29

Now that I am aware and eating Keto, I do judge other peopleā€™s carts - I feel sad that they donā€™t know that what they think is healthy is not, and also what is very obviously unhealthy takes up the most room in their carts. I wish I could say something - or just pass out cards with some good resources, but of course I donā€™t. Some people who come face to face with the facts of how amazing eating Keto is, still laugh and deny themselves the opportunity to eat this way. I am always an advocate for Keto, but it doesnā€™t mean that I am going to change anyone currently eating SAD.

We are all mostly sheep and products of our environments - if the diets were reversed and eating Keto was instead marketed as being a SAD and the SAD diet marketed as being a fad that should be avoided because of imminent death so much would be different in our society.

Maybe one day.

(Nicole Silvia) #30

Thereā€™s a difference between feeling empathy and compassion for someone and flat out judging them.

I also am a huge fan of keto. But, it is not the one and only way to be ā€œhealthyā€. People arenā€™t generally ā€œsheepā€ imo, I find that term very condescendingā€¦ people only know what they learn and in this day and age it is extremely difficult for even very curious and independent thinkers to differentiate between what to believe as truth.

(Melis Jansen ) #31

I silently judge people in grocery stores. I would never talk to anyone about their food choices that way though . I know a lot of people must judge me while Iā€™m shopping the grocery store with heavy cream and coconut oil and meat in my cart. And if anyone does ever lecture me about my food choices I will be happy to talk to them in great detail about my success with Keto!

(Nicole Silvia) #32

I believe in compassion. A lot of my patientā€™s are very obese, like 300+ lbs. I think they know they should lose weight and I am sure they are very uncomfortable and self conscious of their weight.

But until you actually take the time to get talk and connect with someone you have no idea what they are going through. Keto diet or any diet may not be #1 priority even though I also feel ā€œsadā€ for them and believe they could change their lives with better health.

Some of them have spent years caring for a sick and dying parent or spouse. Some of them have very serious health issues that doesnā€™t even allow basic mobility. Some of them are extremely depressed and just getting through the day, is in itself a feat all to celebrate. So I donā€™t judge.

Most of us have been there at one point in time and we would not have benefitted from criticism. People find the path to better health and self care in their own time, when they are ready and they will ask you when they are there.

I even have a dear friend literally dying from anorexia and people generally think sheā€™s in great health and inadvertently encourage her disease because they judge her on being thin. I donā€™t EVER talk to her about keto because she is battling something very serious and all I can do is be her friend through it.

(Nicole Silvia) #33

I enjoy looking at peopleā€™s carts. I strike up conversations with them about what theyā€™re making for dinner. If itā€™s kero food, I talk to them about keto enthusiastically. If itā€™s vegetarian, I honestly donā€™t care, I have a nice conversation about zucchinni noodles or whatever I can enjoy conversing over. I buy my kids cookies. Iā€™m not a bad mother for buying my kids cookies.

#34

I do all 3 though - I feel sorry and empathetic, but I also judge them - human nature. You may say that you are a judge-free person, but I would definitely challenge that statement.

And I consider myself to be a very independent and conscientious thinker, but I was a part of the sheep herd as well. My whole life (and Iā€™m 45) I thought I was making healthy choices with the SAD diet I was eating and I couldnā€™t understand why I just kept gaining weight and could only really lose by severe caloric restrictions, eating tasteless food, and working out 6 days a week for 2 hours each day. Since going Keto 4 months ago, my overall health has improved 100% and Iā€™ve lost 27 lbs eating the most delicious and whole unprocessed foods. Sure there are other ways to be healthy, but our society does not promote health - it promotes excess in the form of processed carbs and sugars. Most people are going to go with the flow of what they know primarily based on what theyā€™ve been told because why shouldnā€™t they trust that when they are told by doctors, media and the government that eating a SAD diet is also eating a healthy diet. Itā€™s really not our faults for trusting in those people.

But when you know the truth and you still choose to ignore it; well thatā€™s a different conversation.

(Nicole Silvia) #35

Of course I judge too. Everyone has some degree of that. I notice that my judgments of others are based on how they treat other people, not what they eat or how much money they make or what car they drive, etc. Etc. I judge people based on how they impact each other and the world. Those are my values.

You were not a ā€œsheepā€, you simply were going by what you knew to be true at the time. Thatā€™s all. Thereā€™s a lot I donā€™t know, thereā€™s a lot I do know, then thereā€™s what I think I know. We all just go by what we know to be true.

You know what you do now, only by experience, so yes, now that youā€™ve had this revelation, you canā€™t go back. Awesome! Yet there are still studies and good reasons why people think your way or my way isnt the right way.

You now know something new :slight_smile:

(Casey Crisler) #36

[quote=ā€œSilvian, post:35, topic:58042ā€]
Of course I judge too. Everyone has some degree of that.
[/quote]I used to be one of those that would look at obese people with incredulity (if thatā€™s the right word). After getting into keto and reading up on all this I realize a lot of it isnā€™t all their fault. Due to what weā€™ve been taught re: SAD, is there any question as to why theyā€™re big? I now feel sadness instead of revulsion towards them because of what their future holds. At the same time, I do get perturbed when I see these large folks with grocery carts full of Coke and chips and Twinkies with 2 obese children in tow.

#37

I really do not think that was my point at all. This was not a keto issue, she could have been a Dash diet person or a vegan, it would not matter because unless she was using that vegetable oil to run her lawn mower, it was unhealthy. It is not a judgement, it is a fact. As others have said people are told that polyunsaturated is great and healthy and it simply is not. Might this person benefit from keto, possibly but she certainly would benefit from changing her oil. As for the 10 year old, she is clogging that kidā€™s arteries without realizing and probably with the best of intentions. Had I spoken to her I would have said, research the oil. I would not have said vegetable oil is the worst thing ever and you should not feed it to your child.

I say this to my friends whether they are athletic, sick, unhappy, ecstatic, fat or thin, it has nothing to do with where they are in life. For most people middle class people (lets face it that is who shops at Costco) it is as easy to grab the butter, coconut or light olive oil as it is the bottle of Wesson.

I am sure many people judged me when I was heavier, they may still as I am not at an ideal weight. I could care less, especially if they are doing it in their own head. The point is not that she was heavy it was that she had bought into the polyunsaturated nonsense and was experiencing a detriment from that. As someone else posted, I do not judge people that are heavy, I think how bad it is that they have been handed this pack of lies based on CICO and have been told they are respondible due to bad behavior. When in fact if you read some of the keto physicians, it is IR that causes fat, not the other way around

(Banting & Yudkin & Atkins & Eadeses & Cordain & Taubes & Volek & Naiman & Bikman ) #38

When you comment on someone elseā€™s cart, you are commenting on someone elseā€™s life. You may come from a place of goodwill towards your fellow humans, but your fellow humans will almost always take it as an attack, perhaps on something they are insecure about in the first place (like their weight) and react defensively.

I would like to share so much knowledge with every shopper I see at costco, and clap back at everyone who side eyes my cart with subprimal cuts of beef, big blocks of cheese, heavy cream and nuts. And yet, I consider the conversation were someone with a clearly vegetarian cart commented on my big hunks of meat, and how I would refer them to Lierre Kiethā€™s book, to a Carnivoreā€™s Manifesto and the Craft Beef book, to books and articles by Denise Minger and Nina Teicholz, to the work of Weston A Price, and I consider their possible response to an onslaught of things they may view as propaganda from meat eaters. There is so little possible gain in having that conversation for them, and there is so little gain to be had on the opposite side of that conversation.

There is no good way to give advise to a stranger about diet. There is no good way to discuss something you think is bad in their cart. Youā€™re right to hold your tongue. Save the folks you know, and eventually, it will spread from them to the folks you donā€™t know, and if it works, eventually to this woman, who can make her own decisions, as an adult and a parent.

#39

Honestly, my judging even has different levels depending on what it is Iā€™m being judgmental about. :slight_smile:

I am happy that I am smart enough to know that I donā€™t know everything! I am still learning and oh so very curious; and hopefully will be til the day I die.

I have a fortune cookie quote on my fridge:

A mind once stretched can never regain its original shape.

I am constantly stretching and reshaping my thoughts. (although I do tend to think Iā€™m always rightā€¦but thatā€™s another conversation) :sweat_smile:

#40

How would a person even start this conversation. My sister who has asked me to tell her when she is having sugary things gets mad/frustrated when I say something. She always has her reasons like having a bad day or she canā€™t live without x item. I get it sugar is an addicting drug. Iā€™ve been mainlining chocolate like nobodyā€™s business for years.

I donā€™t know if there is ever a really appropriate time to tell someone they are gaining weight or to put down the chips or sweets. You have to want that for yourself and have to be ready to make a change. No amount of food shaming will be effective.