Please help (coworker problems)

workproblems
coworkers
(Sophie) #21

I would take it to my manager. The witch is harrassing you. period. Then I would tell her that she is absolutely correct and how could I be so silly! All she wants to do is battle down with you and I wouldn’t get in a pissin match with her because you have ketones in your pee and it would probably melt her! Just agree and take the wind out of her sails. And the next time she tries to force feed you just say you aren’t hungry thanks anyway. She can have your share or take it home to her kids! Or take it and let it sit on your desk until you can throw it in the garbage. Screw her.

(Georgia) #22

I agree with Just Peachy. This is pure harassment. Would she belittle a diabetic or celiac? I’m sure she probably would because she sounds like a self-righteous beeyotch. Want me to throat punch her for you?

(Carpe salata!) #23

Hey you’re looking super in that pic :blush:

40 lb. wow amazing eh. I lost maybe 20 this year and it’s amazing to wake up in the morning with no headache or joint pain, and full of energy woo hoo

Anyway, my psych course says she is suffering “cognitive dissonance” . That is, trying to deal with 2 facts that contradict each other. On the one hand she ‘knows’ people have to eat sugar all the time, but she also sees you thriving. You have blown the b’s mind and she’s in pain and trying to change you to make her world all nice again.

Maybe tell her your hormones are out of whack and your dr said to stay way off starch and sugar. She might cope if you’re a special case, and then stay off the topic. It’s not our job to convert the world. Some of them will just see us thrive and get curious. :slight_smile:

#24

Amazing transformation! Way to go. I wouldn’t discuss diet [and I mean diet as in “the way one eats” since I don’t think of this as a “diet” at ALL!] with anyone not willing to listen. Some people are incapable of being reasonable.

(Siobhan) #25

Tell the manager she is harassing you unprovoked about the diet you are on FOR MEDICAL REASONS (you don’t have to specify what they are but dropping “diabetes/prediabetes” tends to stop people in their tracks). Explain you’ve done nothing to provoke this reaction, and it is making you very mentally stressed and interfering with your job and making you feel attacked.
If it is stressing you out that much, and interfering with your work day it is entirely in the right to report her. It’s incredibly unprofessional, and detrimental to a good work environment to treat a coworker like that, and that is what managers are for.

Congrats on your good progress, and improving health, your coworker can go fuck herself.

KCKO

(Jennie) #26

My first response to this, just in my gut is: This isn’t about you. Clearly SHE is a controlling and nagging weirdo who feels entitled to have an opinion about what you put in your body. Like, dude, that’s crazy, so calm down cookie lady.

You have a number of suggestions here on how to deal with her - she’s being :insert blurry word here: and that’s really obnoxious. I think you know what your best plan of attack is for this. You can choose cooly ignoring her controlling manner, approaching a manager, documenting everything if you think it could hit the fan, or just politely and directly shutting her down. “Thank you for the offer, but I follow a diet where I don’t eat sugar. I don’t feel comfortable with your commentary about what I choose to fuel my body with. If you don’t stop, I’ll feel the need to get someone else involved.”

I don’t know what kind of whack job feels like they need to dictate what someone else eats, but clearly, she needs help. Genuine concern is one thing, this is clearly just adult bullying. Way to go on your success - sometimes time and continued success is the best voice. You’ve got this.

(Alison) #27

Congrats! You’re doing fantastic, and I am so sorry to hear this petty crap is happening to you in your office. Even though she is harassing and out of line, is there anyway you can possibly ignore her in a happy carefree way to take the wind from her sails so to speak? Just a ‘Thanks, but no thanks, I have a medical condition and can’t eat sugar and grain, but I really appreciate you trying to help’ with a smile? And then if that doesn’t work, yes, this: [quote=“siobhan, post:25, topic:13961, full:true”]
Tell the manager she is harassing you unprovoked about the diet you are on FOR MEDICAL REASONS (you don’t have to specify what they are but dropping “diabetes/prediabetes” tends to stop people in their tracks). Explain you’ve done nothing to provoke this reaction, and it is making you very mentally stressed and interfering with your job and making you feel attacked.
If it is stressing you out that much, and interfering with your work day it is entirely in the right to report her. It’s incredibly unprofessional, and detrimental to a good work environment to treat a coworker like that, and that is what managers are for.

Congrats on your good progress, and improving health, your coworker can go fuck herself.

KCKO
[/quote]

You don’t need to take on stress or release cortisol due to her pettiness & insecurities. Wishing you the best with this!

#28

Thank you, everyone! I feel so much better now. I’m so grateful I have a place I can go where I can speak my mind and find solace.
KCKO, fam!

(eat more) #29

i wouldn’t tell HER anything but i would go to HR/management…they really really hate the words “hostile work environment” and she is being a straight up bully…there may even been some privacy issues involved
i’m sure they value your performance and would be shocked you’d even consider leaving
i know it might sound like “tattling” but she obviously isn’t respectful enough for you to voice your feelings directly to her and come to resolution

#30

If you are at a small company, you may not have HR and the usual run downs of office etiquette there, but yea, this is the kind of thing they drill into us every year as an example of creating a “Hostile Work Environment” which is HR terminology for “someone is doing something that must stop before the company gets sued”, so it’s usually taken pretty seriously… because you could sue the whole company if they ignore it.

But, if you’d rather play some games, “was in the medical field” sounds to me like a euphemism for “was not a doctor”, medical or otherwise. As much as all of us at lower rings of either field like to think we are the authority against others that weren’t, we’re really not, and you can use that. Ask her how her medical practice went, or which med school class taught her all her knowledge, or to tell you about the study she conducted showing these foods were better than these other foods, etc.
Or you could just say, “I’ll have to weigh your advice against practicing doctors and current research doctors in the field, but right now I’m in favor of their evidence and expertise”.

Just make sure she wasn’t actually a nutritional doctor before or something. That would require a different approach, but I’d imagine if she was so great at that she’d still be in that field.

(Jacquelyn Graham) #31

Your choices about your body are none of her business. She is being a rather vile and ignorant bully. People show you who they are, always. You KCKO and do go to your HR or your boss if she persists. Your doctor is working wth you on this and she has no business trying to interfere in your personal health choices.

(Cindy) #32

Try telling her that it’s creepy that she’s so fixated on what you eat and that you don’t care to discuss it with her since she’s not your doctor. After that, either walk away when she starts in or just stare at her without responding at all. Most people become extremely uncomfortable when someone refuses to respond at all.

HR would be best after that, but since it’s a small company, you’ll have to determine whether it’s worth while to go to management.

Good luck!

(Arlene) #33

It’s time to tell her to “shut up and leave you alone”. Tell her to act professional and leave her opinions elsewhere. Don’t take any more of her harassment. If she still persists, tell her you will report her harassment to your superiors if she continues.

(Meeping up the Science!) #34

Nice Fixer Upper shirt :wink:

The last time someone kept making cracks at my diet, I brought a bowl of bacon in and just ate that constantly. I am sort of dork like that!

In all seriousness, that is harassment. I would speak to your supervisor and/or HR if it continues. No one should be food shamed for their diet.

#35

Wow - what a #@$%% (I still have to look up how to use profanity on the forum :slight_smile:

This is definitely not about you! You could get into arguments, or back keto with science, but I think the best thing - unless/until management can do something about her harassment - is to make yourself completely unflappable.

Ms B— : “Keto’s terrible for you blah blah blah…whole grains”

You: five full seconds of silence as you just look at her, then “Are you done? I need to get back to work” And just turn away and do something else.
Repeat as necessary

You don’t need to explain anything; her dogma is not your problem; it’s not your job to defend keto to her or to your coworkers.

You look amazing and have done such good work! Congratulations!!!

#36

You know what would be fun? Get a timer app on your phone - or just use the stopwatch that’s built into most of them - and when she starts in you can say “excuse me” and right in front of her start the timer, and say “ok, go on.”

Every time she starts going off about nutrition, you can turn it back on (if it’s the same one, even better! it’s like she racks up the minutes). You can tell her you have a bet going with some friends (that can be us) and you wanted to track her minutes this week.

Might be a fun game for you and will probably drive her absolutely up the wall. More importantly, it disconnects you from the content of her words.

#37

This sounds like toddler power struggle…the struggle of being right.So it doesn’t matter how much information or wit you have, the power struggle to be right will refuse to allow there to be any relationship. Side step all of it. Don’t give a non-supportive person your energy, your wisdom, your information about your health. DON’T FEED THE ANIMALS. We probably agree she has placed herself in a cage, yes?

(Ellie Baum) #38

Best thing I read all day.

(bon) #40

Please forgive me if I am too cavalier. That’s my personality and I’m old enough to be you granny. If you’re ready on a personal level, here’s what works for me:

Learn not to need other people’s approval. As long as you seek it, they’ll never be satisfied. People are automatically drawn to those who are “self-confident” and these are those who are assured of their own dealings and get results thereof. You should be right there. But I understand.

Confrontation doesn’t need to be difficult, but without it you’ll always cower. This is not an intellectual problem, but a boundary issue for which I have many years of hiding in my corner. Solution: Very politely, but determined, advise this young lady that her ridicule is not acceptable. Advise her that her opinion is always welcome, but the belittling and and condescending attitude borders on abusive behavior and is something for which makes you extremely uncmortable and that you request (not demand) that she not do so any more.

You’ll set a clear and distinct boundary. The result usually ends with this person gaining respect for you. Mind you, you’ll need to be assertive, but considerate in tone and words. Say what you mean, but don’t be mean.

Then, of course KCKO and the results will do nothing but harden her/their respect. IF NOT you’re dealing with a sociopath and, then, you can consider getting a different job because some types of co-worker stress aren’t worth it.

You are smart, sharp and worthy. If you were otherwise, you wouldn’t be considering a complicated and powerful diet change contrary to popular medical opinion. That makes you a cut above the rest.

now … GO ACT LIKE IT!

Much love and blessings to you
bon

(Charndra Pile) #41

When people start getting twitchy around me, I tell them I’ve had diabetes twice, (GDM), had to shoot insulin 3x a day for 3 months, hated it, and will do what the latest science says to avoid that in my future. The science has changed. I know 1000’s of people who have reversed their diabetes of up to 20 years within months by doing what I am. It blew my mind to learn this stuff, and I’m going with it. People reel backwards when I say this, and reflect differently, it somehow makes them feel less judged somehow, even though I wasn’t judging​them, you know?

You can describe me as your friend, too. Disassociate yourself from her focus.

My first child, no worries. Second, undiagnosed diabetes. My son was born technically premature at 36 weeks, weighing 4.5kg. Third, daughter, induced at 38 weeks, weighing 2 kg. Diagnosed diabetes that time. Three months of insulin shots and eating essential carbs, gagh…
I tell people that story, they relax and get interested. I say Google DrFung and check out the 2KetoDudes. That’s it…put the ball in their court!
I learnt about LCHF a year later.