Pizza pleeeeeease

#1

Just made the most revolting soggy mess of a keto pizza with a cauliflower base. So tired of these tantalising recipes promising crispy pizza bases. Has anyone had success?

(Polly) #2

Have you tried a meatza?

Those are just a couple of options from the web. I make mine with pork mince seasoned with home made British Sausage Spices.

(Michael - When reality fails to meet expectations, the problem is not reality.) #3

Puleez! Why do you folks continue to flagellate yourselves? Either eat a damn pizza or forget about it. And it’s easier to forget about it than you realize. But if you persist trying to concoct ersatz imitations you’ll be forever enthralled. OK, I’ll crawl back under the bridge now. :eyes:

#4

There’s always one. My question is clear. You dont have answer.

#5

We make the Fathead Pizza occasionally - nice and crisp. The recipe can easily be found by googling.

#6

Fatheads and their copycats are the only ones that even remotely were ok to me, I stopped with all of them and when I want pizza I eat pizza and make up for it on the other end with either not eating the rest of the day or something to that effect. The copies are all crap. One thing I’d like to perfect is the chicken based ones since they don’t taste bad and are a ton of protein. I’ve bought them and they weren’t bad at all but the couple times I made them they were terrible.

(Michael - When reality fails to meet expectations, the problem is not reality.) #7

I have an answer. You just don’t like it. That’s your choice and that’s OK with me. :slightly_smiling_face:

#8

I don’t eat pizza enough to learn how to bake a keto pizza base.

However, the one time I did crave pizza, I bought a pack of keto pizza bases, added keto friendly toppings and stuck in the oven. Tasted fantastic. Made a “Mighty meat” pizza with sausages, bacon, ground meat and onions…nom nom nom.

There is very little I can’t find a tasty keto alternative for.

#9

My go-to for pizza (or cheese bread) is Joseph’s Lavash Bread, a flatbread similar to a low carb tortilla, as a crust. I can do it in about 5 minutes these days. But I’ve also done a Cheesebuns crust or a Poblano peppers crust. And, now, with the latest keto craze, chaffles, you could even do Pizza Chaffles.

A copycat recipe for Papa Murphy’s new “crust-less” pizza.

Some very quick and lazy microwave options:

Microwaved Crust-less Pizza

  • Put a layer of provolone on a microwave safe plate
  • Sprinkle smoked paprika and Italian seasoning
  • Spread some Rao’s marinara sauce
  • Add some diced onions and mushrooms
  • Add a layer of pizza pepperoni
  • Cover with the shredded Italian cheese, maybe a touch of the shredded sharp cheddar cheese
  • In the microwave for 2:30

Microwaved sausage patty meatza

  • Thaw out one or more frozen sausage patties in the microwave
  • Add Rao’s marinara sauce, diced onions, and/or mushrooms
  • Cover with shredded Italian blend cheese or Mozzarella cheese
  • Microwave for a minute or so, depending on how many you made

Microwaved Italian meats meatza

  • Slice of provolone cheese
  • Deli slice of salami
  • Slice of Colby Jack cheese
  • Deli slice of salami
  • Slice of Pepper Jack Cheese
  • Roma tomato Slices, maybe some diced onions
  • Deli slice of pepperoni
  • Slice of provolone cheese
  • Microwave for about 90 seconds.
  • Slice into four small pizza triangles
(Bob M) #10

I’ve done pizza chaffles, with anchovies and pepperoni. They work well, although I make the chaffles, then put some cheese on them, broil them a bit. Take them out, add sauce, more cheese, toppings, put them back under the broiler. They turn out well, but a little on the floppy side.

I’ve also done fat head dough, which is good.

Since the base for both chaffles and fat head dough is cheese, then I add more cheese, it’s a lot of cheese.

(UsedToBeT2D) #11

Fat head dough…mozzarella cheese, almond flour, cream cheese, egg…it’s not the same as regular pizza dough, but it is good after you get the hang of it. Google it, give it a try, or as Amwassil said, “Forget about pizza”.

(Ken) #12

The trick to the cauliflower mozzarella pizza crust is to get rid of the water in the cauliflower. After I mash mine it goes into the salad spinner to get rid of the water.

#13

Some people are happy with keto pizza and some aren’t.
If I expected a keto stuff to be very similar to a carby thing, I would be disappointed (exceptions are super rare. carbs or their lack are extremely obvious to me). I barely ate pizza before keto but I have very high standards if it’s about pizza… But I often enjoy things treated like a pizza crust :slight_smile: They aren’t even remotely similar to a real good pizza but it’s fine. They just should be enjoyable. My simplest crust is my one ingredient sponge cake (it’s egg, of course, the only important ingredient of a sponge cake if you ask me). Of course, meat and cheese may come into play but as I like to put them on top and eggs are perfect alone, I only use them for my crust. The sponge cake (baked twice) is definitely not soggy. Not particularly crunchy but good enough for me. Some cheese probably would make it crunchier.

I used cucchini as crust before, it was nice. And not crunchy :slight_smile: I did pizza without a crust too, it was spiced cheese wisp… Too much cheese. But crunchy.

I tried the cauli not-pizza once, I liked it as I loved cauliflower but it was a softer thingie, not even remotely similar to pizza.

I never use almond flour so I didn’t try the famous not-pizza so many people are into…

But pizza never was important for me and anyway, I stopped eating my old favs for years before without problems… So eating some other tasty food instead of pizza may work too. It depends on the person and their state of mind. I know how troublesome compulsions and desires are…

(Bob M) #14

Interesting. So, mash, salad spinner, create crust?

I may try that as part of a TKD experiment, where I eat some carbs the first meal after exercising. I tried it with potatoes, sweet potatoes, and high saturated fat (butter + stearic acid), but those both caused me some issues, so I stopped using them. I went back to near zero carbs.

But a cauliflower pizza could be a good tool.

(You've tried everything else; why not try bacon?) #15

I’ve only ever made the Fathead crust, and it works fine for me.

(Ken) #16

Yes. Just a reminder, the crust is then baked and cooled first, before you add toppings and rebake. You can always make extra ones and freeze them before the second bake, with or without toppings. Besides the 50:50 cheese and cauliflower, I generously sprinkle dried pizza seasoning on it before the first (450 degree) bake.