Parents

(Elizabeth ) #1

I chatted with my parents this morning and found out that my dad just started statins and has high blood pressure (my mom has been on statins for some time - also scary). Naturally, I panicked and tried to convince them to try going low carb.

It did not work.

I sent my mom the Diet Doctor website. I’m not sure what else to do.

I don’t know what I’m asking. I just feel like I have an answer, but they aren’t interested. Any success out there in converting parents? Is it even possible?

For me, I had to read and learn (round 1) and see a friend’s health success (round 2). But they don’t really read nonfiction. And they are seeing my success, but they’ve also seen my massive failure.

(Alec) #2

Frustrating, I know, but your role here is educative only. You can only show, explain and lead by example. You can also propose and suggest different courses of action, but that has to be gentle.

My suggestion is to print off some research and try to explain what it says over a coffee, then leave it up to them.

We all want to save the world, but the world can’t be saved if it doesn’t want to be saved.

(Carl Keller) #3

The sad truth is that my generation and the ones preceding me often placed unwavering trust in their doctors. It was taboo to ignore “doctor’s orders” so getting people with this mentaility to step away from their comfort zone is a huge leap of faith.

The advice to ignore statins might be better received if they hear it or read it from a different doctor. Dr. Ken Berry and Dr. David Diamond have videos and books that might show them that “doctor’s orders” don’t always have their best interest in mind.

“Half of what you are taught in medical school will be wrong in 10 years’ time. And the trouble is none of your teachers know which half.” Dr. Sydney Burwell

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#4

Oh Elizabeth, I’m afraid I have no good advice for you. I’m in a similar situation. My dad constantly struggles with his BM’s, and takes a ridiculous amount of fiber everyday, thinking that’s what he needs. My step-mom is on all kinds of medications, smokes, and doesn’t eat well at all, but she is thin as a rail, so it can’t be her diet, right?

After seeing how much success I’ve had with my weight and health, you’d think they’d be interested in knowing more, but no.

So yeah, no advice I can offer you, but I did want you to know I’m very empathetic to your position, and I hope for you (and your parents) the best.

(hottie turned hag) #5

Only chiming in for solidarity as I have a fat (5’1", 151lb) 19 y/o daughter whose reason for not trying keto is “it’s too inconvenient for how busy I am” (she is a uni student with a p/t job) :expressionless: which is an utterly ridiculous reason.

She too witnessed my 60+ weight loss and resolution of more than a few health issues, including severe migraines which she has now developed, since gaining the “freshman 15”, yet she still refuses.
This is a bright, logical kid at a good college with a good brain yet she makes moronic statements. Frustrating AF!

#ifeelyourpain

(John) #6

All I can recommend is to stick to what is working for you, over the long haul, and let them see your success and NOT see any more massive failures.

Some people just aren’t willing to make the changes in their lives necessary to improve their health. It’s not easy. They are going to have to really want to do it, and that has to come from some change in mindset that comes from within.

Something has to trigger that “snap” where they say - “Enough. I am going to do something about this.” And that is when they are ripe for the information. When they are trying to figure out what the “something” to do is.

Adults don’t like to be told to do things by anyone who they have not already decided is an authority figure. And unless you have a college degree in some specific field, they will never consider their children to be authority figures.

Usually, the more you push / nag, the more resistant they become. So it is better to not start down that path, because then you also have to overcome their desire to not have to admit that you were right about something. Nobody ever likes to be on the wrong end of “I told you so.”

Though that depends on their individual levels of self-awareness and emotional maturity. Some people are very open to advice even if it challenges their existing beliefs. If your parents are like that already, then it would be an easier path.

What I did with one of my sisters who became interested after I had lost about 60 pounds, was to point her to Dr. Jason Fung’s books, and tell her to read them and do some research on her own. She did, and everything he wrote resonated with her and her past experiences with medical care.

She is now well on the way to reversing her type 2 diabetes and is down several sizes in clothing, just after maybe 4 months of low carb plus time-restricted eating.

But the starting point was my own success. That is what gets people to sit up and take notice. I am currently down about 96 pounds from my peak, and have been sticking with it for 9 months (as of today, in fact).

If you have a history of losing weight, failing to maintain it, and going back up, people will use that as “proof” that it is just a fad diet that doesn’t work, and they won’t listen to you.

If you want to change others’ minds, you have to first be an example of what works. Stick to your plan, get healthy, maintain it, and then you will be in a position to lead others.

Also - I suggest not trying to push them AT ALL. If you have been up until now, back off completely. You may have planted a seed in their minds that will grow, but what will fertilize that is your continued success. When they see in 6 months or a year that you have continued to get healthier and are sticking with it, you may notice they start asking a few questions.

That is when the time is right, and you can then point them to the information where they can learn what to do.

(Jane- Old Inky Crone) #7

I’m with you as well. Like @BlueViolet, I have a daughter who desperately needs this, she’s morbidly obese, but refuses to give up her sweets and junk food. The worst thing for me is that when I got down to a healthy weight the last time, she kept saying I was way too thin and had her children saying “you’re too skinny, you need to gain some weight”. Of course her children struggle with their weight, and now she’s raising her 3 grandkids, I can see a metabolically challenged future for them as well. It breaks my heart that so many of my loved ones are intentionally making themselves so unhealthy, but I cannot live their lives for them, so I keep my mouth shut. All any of us can do is try to be a positive example and plant tiny seeds of knowledge when we get a chance. KCKO

(Will knit for bacon. ) #8

I’m in the same boat with my mom. Type 2 diabetes, blood pressure, balance issues, some kind of neurological issue that they haven’t figured out yet. I’m watching her turn into her mother, who spent her last few years hobbling from her easy chair to the kitchen table and back again, mumbling.

I started low-carb a few months ago, after the doctor expressed concern about my blood sugar and I realized I was headed down the same road. I’ve been raving about it to Mom ever since, because I almost immediately felt 1000% better and started dropping weight. Her doctor has told her she needs to eat low-carb, but she’s having difficulty imagining a world without potatoes and bread. But she was asking me questions about it last night, so maybe she’s starting to fold.

It’s frustrating. But all we can do is take care of ourselves and offer support when asked.

(Wendy) #9

I think a lot of us share your pain. I’d love my mom to change to ketp but she’s 80 and a retired nurse who believes all the dietary and diet heart hypothesis. I’d love her to stop taking statins.
My husband sufferes from terrible RA, one son has crohn’s, ect. Why not try and see how much better you can feel?
But parents are probably the worst.
I did have some success with a bil who had reversed his diabetes and lost weight because of my success and he found Dr Fung.

(George) #10

I’ve tried, but no luck. My mom would rather have the gastric sleeve done (which she is scheduled for in 3 weeks) than just try low carb, which baffles me that she’s willing to torture herself with a liquid and pureed diet for MONTHS instead of just tweaking her food intake now. I’ve explained how it works, and even wrote up a little easy to follow spreadsheet with meal ideas, what to avoid at the market, etc. I think the older generation is just stuck in their ways. However, I have converted 3 of my friends, and the cashier at my local market.

(hottie turned hag) #11

One of mine, my 21y/o, has Crohn’s (presented at age 10), saw her this past week for the first time since last Sept (lives in another state), is still symptomatic and has active disease despite aggressive tx and is also just a few mos post-sx (removal of TI and cecum). Didn’t even try to broach the idea of her trying keto (this is my most stubborn and arrogant child) but in course of convo with everyone as it came up, some of her more annoying comments were:
“everyone needs carbs”
“this (keto) is such a stupid trend”
(I loathe trends so this one I understood as there are a lot of bandwagon jumpers)
“we are meant to eat plants; our physiognomy makes this clear; look at our dentition and gut length”

So that makes two daughters now who I want to punch.
Oddly, another child, vegetarian since, ever and vegan past 7 years, thinks she’d prob do well on keto and agrees with its benefits but her animal advocacy stance prevents it.