You are welcome here, as i was made welcome
Being the main cook can help - as long as the other party is accepting of the food, of course.
My SO is thriving on high-carb, he is very healthy and health-conscious, he hates added sugar and loves sweets, it’s a thing - and I can shape his diet to some extent, he tends to follow me to some extent, he just needs his plenty of carbs. When I was a vegetarian, he was a vegetarian, now that I do carnivore, he has way less meatless days. But he refuses to eat much meat. It’s fine, he gets his protein, always did, not nearly as much as me but it’s enough for him to keep his muscles and everything so it’s okay.
He even have low-carb breakfasts when I make the food Just because it’s his food, I can’t just not play with the ingredients… It’s a very serious instinct in me, to make things as low-carb as possible without ruining whatever makes the food charming for the one who will eat it.
How can one not care about their health? I never will understand that. Health is super important. And the right healthy food tastes wonderful so one doesn’t need sacrifices, at least I don’t feel I did that. But I would do big ones for my health and lack of cravings and compulsions. I am a hedonist… Being sick when I could be healthy is the least hedonistic thing to do. And I think about the future, it’s something too many people just don’t do, apparently.
I am definitely the main cook. I meal prep his lunches for the week and they are healthy, but he insists on adding a ton of snacks in his lunch bag. He then comes home and munches on all sorts of stuff regardless of what he has for dinner.
He says he cares about his health, but he isn’t willing to do anything to make it better. He smokes cigarettes, eats terrible, has bad pain that he refuses to do the physical therapy that eases the pain. He goes to work, and comes home hunched over and limping a lot. I don’t say anything anymore.
He is a grown man, he knows what works, but he chooses to not do those things. It is very frustrating to witness, and I worry a LOT. I have tried so many ways to get him to do the things that help him feel better, but I am exhausted.
For a long time his family gave me grief about it. I finally had enough, his life choices are his to make, not mine. My influence only goes so far and I can’t control him. He did have a heart attack scare once upon a time and that sobered him up quick, but it didn’t last.
I am focusing on myself now, I hope for the best with him, but I let him be.
That’s sad. Smoking is clearly very unhealthy, I don’t understand people, paying for ruining their health and making them smelly… My SO’s Mom smokes. Sigh. We are huge at anti-smoking. We never even tried, what an insanely stupid idea… We want to live until 120 and possibly beyond or something and we should take health seriously then (I won’t do it alone). Oh we want to do it pretty healthily too. This is a borderline realistic goal but we need very good lifestyle and zillion other things, good genes aren’t enough at that level.
But even if one just wanna live until 80-90 or even less, the quality of life is… so obviously highly important, how can people not see it? Sigh.
Maybe baby steps can happen in the future? Making good food he enjoys and a good example is plenty already and obviously just trying to persuade someone rarely works and can cause conflicts… I am so lucky, my acceptance is easy as my SO is truly health-conscious and pretty healthy, he just eats 20 times as much carbs as I do… But it works for him.
We worry about his mom. Diabetes, obesity, very swollen feet, various problems, smoking… We are helpless. At least her spirit is great, she is active and had a hip surgery (that was bad as her activity dropped and she hated it but it was temporal)… But she eats not well and she is still smoking, we talked a lot against that, not to persuade her, she knows the risks, there were gradually cut off limbs in the family… But we complain about the smell in her room and she tries and succeeds to keep rooms for us without smoke and doesn’t expect us to enter her room when she is smoking. She doesn’t do it very much. But anything beyond zero is too much.
At least she follows the diabetes diet popular here. So no sugar (she makes exceptions but rarely), less carbs… She loves meat and fat, that is something…
But she should have done so much more… She won’t.
Sometimes I make low-carb treats for her as she likes sweets and I am sure she will eat sugary ones eventually if she doesn’t get tasty very low-carb ones. She likes them.
I can’t do more.
All we can do is hope that one day they have that “a ha” moment and are able to overcome their addictions. I get it, it isn’t easy. I smoked for years and have been smoke free for a long time now. My husband enjoys smoking. I was able to get him to quit a few times but he did it for me, so it didn’t last. They have to WANT to do it.
My husband and his mother bond over it. Literally everyone else in the family has quit smoking except for those two. She is very salty about it. They get on the phone and talk about how much they love their cigarettes but how expensive they are, then she goes on and on about people who think they are “better” and why aren’t all these anti smoking people going after all the exhaust fumes and what about alcoholics that drink and drive. It is ridiculous to listen to.
At the end of the day the only thing I ask is not to smoke in the house or car. He has been agreeable to that for over 20 years. She got really salty whenever she was at our house because we don’t allow it and she will make all sorts of passive aggressive comments about it. We no longer live in the same state though, so that makes it easier lol
When I first started keto about 7 months ago, I had the same problem. I have a lot of fat of my own, still I worried. I’ve lost over 70 lbs. Fasting and OMAD were not a problem. Recently, I’ve been super hungry. Yesterday, I ate at 8:30 in the morning, eggs and bacon, first time in months. Today, I am back to no hunger.
I’m still trying to figure things out. I don’t want to stall my weight loss or the reducing of my blood glucose levels. For now, no matter when I eat, trying to keep carbs low.
I dislike other groups ZILLION times more, actually. I don’t dislike smokers, I love some of them as they are great persons, I hate smoking as it’s stupid. It is, there is no good excuse to do all that bad things to ourselves, our loved ones,the planet, everything.
That logic is stupid too. I know someone who always says “but there are way worse things”. And? It doesn’t mean everything but the most horribly things should be tolerated.
At least Alvaro’s Mom doesn’t do these, she just smokes sometimes. And actually is considerate about other people about it. Doesn’t litter everywhere either… There are different smokers but the whole thing is still bad.
And she even quit smoking when she was pregnant twice… Too bad she couldn’t stay so.
Congrats on the 70lbs lost!
I am hoping my hunger comes back enough for me to eat what I need to. I thought about not tracking and just letting my body dictate how much to eat and when it is hungry. I don’t want to stall things either, and this weekend I have been a bit more lax in what I eat (the carbs are still under my max).
I hear you on that!
There are definitely worse things.
I was a smoker myself, and my best friend also smokes. I quit during my first pregnancy as they made me sick, so it was easy. The second pregnancy, I am ashamed to admit that I smoked through that one.
I developed a bad smokers cough (which my husband is suffering with now among other things) and I had a surgery that the doctor told me I had to quit and be smoke free for at least one whole month before surgery and at least 6 weeks after, or he wouldn’t do it.
It was hard but I wanted that surgery and was sick of the cough, so I quit. Other than a few times where I had short relapses, I have been relatively smoke free.
My husband and his mother both have issues that IMO could be alleviated if they quit. It isn’t my choice though, I just hate to watch people suffer needlessly