My Boyfriend just told me I look pregnant with twins... I'm just fat 😞

(Sarah Yetman) #1

I am literally laying in bed beside him now while he sleeps when 20 mins ago he woke up to kiss me and then rubbed my stomach and said something like ‘just me you and the twins’. I didn’t know what to say I was so shocked. He asked me if I was mad and I said no but I am really really hurt by this. I’m 31, 5"3 and 180lbs. He knows I’m trying to lose weight and he gets so annoyed with me on keto because “I can’t eat anything”. I’m so hurt right now and our relationship already is rocky & we are going to Cuba in 2 weeks. What should I do about this?

(Erin Macfarland ) #2

I’m sorry to be so brash but dump that piece of shit right now. He is controlling and insensitive. There ARE men out there who will love you no MATTER what size you are, there are men who LOVE curvy women. My husband would be thrilled if I was your height and size! He loves women who are strong and take up space. So do NOT compromise yourself for this guy who is clearly insecure and needs to put you down in order to feel better. Leave his sorry ass behind and go find some hot guy in Cuba! How old are you my dear? Don’t waste your time on that bull shit. Sorry I know we’re not supposed to use expletives but you need a man who appreciates his woman and wil support you!! :heart::heart::heart:

(Larry Lustig) #3

I try not to give relationship advice so I’ll just say that this appears to be a usage of the word “friend” with which I was previously not acquainted.

(Sarah Yetman) #4

I’m a 31 year old strong independent woman and I totally agree that I need to end things with him… shitty but true

(carl) #5

It’s hard, but try to understand that it’s not your fault. You can’t tell a human to ignore carb cravings any more than you can tell a woman not to have her period. It’s a hormonal problem brought on by our modern industrial diet which our government helped to bring into our culture. His feelings (or anyone’s) are not worth your early death. It’s harsh, but that’s essentially true.

(Erin Macfarland ) #6

Get rid of him and find your own reasons for the choices you make. It’s your body, your life. You’re 31, you are in your prime, don’t waste it on some jerk who drags you down.

(betsy.rome) #7

Jerk.
When I was preggers, a male friend said “You don’t look pregnant, you look like you’re just on a Twinkie diet.”, as I was obese enough that you couldn’t tell the baby bump from the rest. Noice.

(melinda) #8

Sounds like someone is about to become super single. Honestly, i recommend looking at your relationship for other red flags because this is a huge one.

(Trisha) #9

So sorry you are dealing with this. You need to tell him exactly how you feel and how important keto is to you. And if this type of behavior continues, he needs to hit the road.

(Cathie Condon) #10

If your doing Keto he is probably scared of you changing. A mates insecurities is almost understandable , but that comment is outright a gun in the gut. See the writing on the wall. As you get stronger - which you will thanks to Keto he will get more cruel. Enjoy the vaca then go your own way.

(Jane Reed) #11

If this were the only time he said something hurtful, I’d forgive it. We all open our big yaps thoughtlessly from time to time. If he has a habit of doing it, I’d rethink the value of the relationship. Someone who really cares tries to be nice, not nasty.

(chasse.francisca) #12

I suggest you find someone else to go to Cuba with you. Love yourself enough to leave the abusive relationship. No one says things this hurtful to the one they love.

(Stickin' with mammoth) #13

I concur with all of the above. Here’s a little sumpin’ sumpin’ that finally sunk in for me last year:

You teach people how to treat you.

If someone chews you up and spits you out and you do not respond, the clear message is, “Feel free to be a scorching asshole to me whenever you want, I’m an easy target, I won’t fight back.” Manipulative personalities don’t like to work too hard, anyone who challenges their concept of a world revolving around them is automatically a swipe left.

Yeah, the relationship will end and you will be lonely for a little while. But lonely is nothing compared to being an emotional punching bag. Trust me. The time to enter a relationship is when you are so strong that neither compliments nor criticisms bend your day. Then both of you are free.

(John) #14

What a dick. Devil’s advocate though if he asked if you were mad and you said no that doesn’t help things, it tells him he can continue saying what he wants without it hurting your feelings. When you eventually blow up he will make it your fault for not saying any thing.

Personally he sounds like a jerk and I would be done with him.

#15

Wow. I am sorry you have been put through that. I would certainly have a talk with him and tell him that it is extremely hurtful when he says things like that. It is also hurtful when he gets annoyed with your being keto. I would explain all this and what keto means to you, what it has done for you etc. If he is worth your continued time and love, he will be devastated that he made you feel so bad and make some serious changes. If he still shrugs it off and continues to make you feel like crap then you have a decision to make.

I used to be friends with a guy who made jokes all the time about my weight and size. He would say, “you know I’m joking right?”. I didn’t have the confidence or the self esteem then to tell him what I thought of him. Needless to say, we are no longer friends!

#16

Got a trip to Cuba planned? Can you get your money back? If so, do it.

Or…make him pay for everything, go to Cuba, have a good time, enjoy the sun/heat/beach/culture, and then dump the idiot as soon as you are back.

(Ashley Haddock) #17

You deserve someone who loves you no matter what you look like. Period. That being said, men aren’t always the best with feelings or saying the best things. If this were the only thing hurtful he had ever said and you think he truly loves you, I’d talk to him about it and go from there. If that’s not the case, which is what it sounds like, you deserve to find someone better. Hugs :heart:

(Sascha Heid) #19

I would be seriously pissed about his lack of scientific knowledge and curiosity. This would easily be enough reason for me to switch to a more intelligent male specimen, who after all pride themselves on their intelligence. Regarding his snarky comment however… meh. Shouting abuse and crying about it just seems silly and childish to me, sorry. You just put yourself down with it, f*ck that. If you are smarter then your man it’s time for an upgrade anway.

(KFdriscoll%) #20

If you dump everyone who hurts you with an insensitive remark. You will end up a very lonely person.

(Meeping up the Science!) #21

Ignorance is prevalent, as well as hubris. I am so sorry you are in this situation. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, though. You will be able to get through this no matter what you decide regarding your relationship.

I never tolerate comments about my physical appearance that are unsolicited and not done for my benefit - and yes, there is a way to get beneficial criticism even, which that was not.