Killing My Mothers Bad Habits

#1

Hello everyone, it’s been a while since I have posted here on the forums :slight_smile:

I recently graduated from OSTM in Rochester NY and sat for my board exam for Massage Therapy.

I am excited to say that For most of my time at school (6 month accelerated course) I remained Keto Compliant and managed to keep my weight steady at about 145. I did however gain some weight after when I visited my boyfriend in LA (my downfall because even our compromise between our two diets has me gaining weight, It’s that bad)

I am back on the Keto Horse and I am dragging my mother along kicking and screaming. She promised she would give AT LEAST low carb a try, after about 2 weeks she was upset that it wasnt working and she still wasn’t losing weight. So I inquired about what she was eating and it didn’t sound right. She was cheating here and there and it sounded like she wasn’t eating enough.

All her food choices she mentioned all sounded like low fat, diet foods so I made her get the App, Lose It. An app I know my way around and I use to make sure I get my macros right and don’t eat too little.

Well after just 2 days of logging, she is eating about 1000 calories too little and was getting upset that she was eating so little and that she still wasn’t losing weight. I inquired more and realized this is how shes been living her life for years. I set up her app and gave it notification permissions and I am now officially cooking for her. She will eat what I eat and she will not get to skip out on eating breakfast… even though I don’t need to be up at 7am, i will be because she cant seem to get her shit together on her own.

I am confident that once she starts seeing results she will take over on her own and keep it going. I am happy to help her and fix the problems. she doesn’t believe me when i tell her how metabolism works and that if she eats too little she wont lose weight. But, she agreed to conform for at least 2 weeks. I don’t know if this is enough time for her to see or feel any difference given how many years she has been living like this, but it’s worth a shot.

If any of you have any simple recipes that are budget friendly i would really appreciate a link or message. My mothers father had diabetes his entire life and just about everyone on that side of the family has health and weight issues. I know this will eventually kill her if she doesn’t get her crap together, so I am doing what I can to show her she doesn’t have to buy Nutrisystem and starve herself and her bank account to make herself feel good for a few weeks and then inevitably give up anyways.

Anyways, my personal goal is about 120-125, i am currently about 147. At my heaviest I was close to 180. Depression and ptsd really wrecked me for a while, but I am getting a handle on myself again.

Here is a picture of what i looked like when i WAS 120 (i was 21 in this picture and had just had a baby)

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This is a pic of me and my mom at the gym about 2 years ago (a little bit heavier than i am now)

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My personal goal as i mentioned is to lose about 20 more pounds. my mom would like to get down to 150 (she didn’t tell me what her starting weight is but I’m going to take a shot in the dark and say 200-210)

(MooBoom) #2

Loved reading your story and wish you every success helping your mum reclaim her health.

Sounds like she’s been eating a lot less than she needs for a long time, her metabolism in reality is likely quite disregulated. 2 weeks would barely scratch the surface of the time she would need to begin to heal herself- but let’s hope it makes her feel better on enough levels to carry on longer!

Economic meal ideas- you can’t go wrong with eggs and bacon, mince and broccoli, mashed cauliflower and sausage, simple whole foods bought in season/in bulk. Check out the ‘what did you keto today’ threads for inspiration :blush:

#3

thanks ill check those out, and yeah i love bacon and eggs. she wont eat pork of any kind (religious) so I’ve been finding other things for her.

(Susan) #4

That is terrific you are doing this for your mom and with your mom. Just focus on the carbs being 20 grams or less, and no sugars, and getting enough calories for you both! Make sure you are both getting enough proteins and healthy fats, water and electrolytes and I am sure you will both be losing and getting into shape soon enough.

What a great daughter you are, helping your mom live a longer, healthier life. I wish you both much success. I had a 2 month stall because I was not eating enough calories, even on Keto, with no cheats and all Keto food, so I totally agree with you to make sure she is getting enough calories. That is definitely important!

You could make her an omelette in the mornings with some grated cheese, and a bit of peppers, mushrooms and/or spinach in it, to add some flavour as well =).

(Marianne) #5

That’s a bummer; pork makes up about 70% of the meat we eat.

For easy and economical, I would suggest chicken, egg or tuna salad (with mayo), a loaded salad (eggs, cheese, pepperoni, blue cheese dressing) with a piece of meat for dinner, chicken thighs, chicken with some kind of sauce (bernaise, etc.), a large cheeseburger (we get the 74/26 hamburger - delicious), shrimp or seafood bisque (I use the same base as white chicken chili, without the beans - OMG), etc.

Good luck. It’s so difficult when we want to help our loved ones. Just remember she has to meet you at least half way.

#6

I use turkey bacon. Grew up with a religious restriction on pork, and now that I’ve never eaten it it shows up on my allergy test so I haven’t taken the chance just yet

#7

I’ve been unable to get her to commit to anything lower than 50g of carbs a day. She is very fragile.and easily gives up it anything gets in her way of eating treats etc.

It’s somewhat annoying to then hear her blame her age or post menopause for her weight, before that the scapegoat was kids.

Regardless, she is down 2 pounds and able to cheat with minimal carb snacks such as the Atkins snacks or allowing her some popcorn if she rains under 50g.

Unfortunately as soon as she saw she was losing weight she deminished her progress “a drop in the bucket” and started talking about how she can eat a few more carbs or when I get at her for eating under 1500 she shrugs it off and says “it’s not like I’m not eating”

I’ve tried to reiterate the importance for minimum calories and not cheating, but it’s falling on growing deaf ears.

She’s going on a cruise in January so my goal is to get her down at least 10 pounds so when she goes and screws it up she will see I’m not lying to her and that this stuff is in fact important.

And she already said she has no plans to continue keto while on her cruise but would start again when she gets home.

I know overall this sounds negative but I’m proud she’s made it this far and we have dispelled some of her beliefs that eating more calories = weight gain and that reducing calories should always = weight loss. And that she is somehow special in that she just can’t lose weight

(Hyperbole- best thing in the universe!) #8

We have two phrases in Chinese (or more that I just don’t know yet,) that encouragingly epitomize what you are saying. 慢慢來 and 一步一步， which mean “go slowly” and “one step at a time.” Progress is progress. Maybe the cruise will help her see that you are actually giving her helpful advise.

(Susan) #9

I applaud you for trying so hard to get her on a healthy path. I also wish you all the best in achieving this!

#10

Thanks everyone :blush:

#11

Another update, after 2 weeks now on real Keto (no longer just low carb) she is down 4 pounds and 2 inches off her waist.

She is now sold on the Keto diet for a safe, economical, and realistic choice for weight loss.

I however can’t seem to stop cheating with my period right around the corner haha, so I have stalled a little :stuck_out_tongue:

#12

welp this is probably the last time I bump this thread.

I think my mom is sold now. It has been just about a month now and she is down 8 pounds. Even with cheating here and there, she has successfully made some lasting changes in her diet and has been consciously trying to eat low carb as much as possible.

Not all of her choices are good ones, but they are the lesser of two evils, such as diet soda instead of regular (she has maybe 1 soda a day so I don’t see this as harmful)

She now eats more calories a day and doesn’t try to restrict her calorie intake to dangerous levels.
She now also is no longer avoiding fat or falling for the gimmicks at the stores with the word HEALTHY plastered across the box. She investigates the ingredients for herself and usually is stunned when she sees just how many carbs, sugar, and even sometimes hydrolyzed ingredients are in these things.

As for myself, i am at a bit of a stall at 148 and haven’t moved at all this month haha. I am working out now though so I just have my fingers crossed it’s a body comp change that is accounting for this.

(Susan) #13

That is awesome, Yaz, that your mom is doing so well. If you have started to work out, remember that muscles do weigh more, so your body is probably just toning up, etc and 148 is still pretty nice! I am 244, so it seems like an awesome number to me right now, hehe. Best wishes losing the extra 20 pounds you are working on =).

You are such a good daughter, I am sure that your mom really appreciates all that you have done, and I am so glad that she is eating healthier now.

#14

thanks, yeah all of my life she slowly gained weight and has tried so many different “magic” pills and fad diets. she wouldn’t listen to anyone’s advice and just write it off saying it was her genetics etc.

Now that I have done some college level chemistry, Myology, biology, A&P etc I could explain to her and have some of the educational backing for her to listen. So I told her to give me a month and she did.

(Susan) #15

That is fantastic =).

(Marianne) #16

Wow, that is a success story - I’m happy for both of you. I think the hardest part is just getting people to try it. If they do it for a couple of weeks, they are usually sold. It seems like the longer your mom has been on it, the more she is transitioning to full keto. I wouldn’t be surprised if the next thing to go is the diet pop.

#17

A little update. My mom has been off and on with it, but she keeps coming back to it. She won’t do any real commitments to strict keto but her lifestyle and eating habits have improved.

Since we started she has not gained any weight, only lost, or stayed the same. I think she has lost about 10 pounds so far. I know she is not happy with that but I just told her like it is, commit or accept this is the pace you have chosen.

I myself am starting a really strict keto between now and Christmas time. 18g net carbs a day, I am a massage therapist so I am pretty tired at the end of the day. Some days I do as many as 7 massages a day. Trying to figure out how many calories i burn and how much I should eat has been a challenge… so I just eat when I’m hungry. I end up eating anywhere from 1400-1900 calories a day depending on my work load.

#18

You might want to check out grassfed liver capsules (if you’re not already eating it weekly) - amaaaaayzing for energy & endurance. Plus, really good source of B vitamins which help frayed nerves and emotional energies. I take them every other day, but they can be taken daily. These are the cheapest, high quality ones I’ve found:

#19

thanks :slight_smile: I am actually not really against actually eating liver. If you have never tried it, at Aldi they have this pork meat / pork liver mixture that is sealed in a plastic tube and looks somewhat like a sausage. I can’t remember the name of it but it essentially is Liverwurst. It looks, smells, and tastes like bologna lol it is just a little bit more crumbly, but i cook it like fried bologna twice a week.