Keto as a Teenager & Family Issues

#1

Howdy folks!
Are there any other ketogenic teens out there? I’m a female teen, and have been keto for nearly half a year now, dropping almost 55 pounds (normal weight now!) in that span. I was introduced to keto by my mom, she gets reactions to certain flours and such. While we were trying to find out what was wrong with her, someone had suggested she try keto, so she went on what she calls a “lazy keto diet.” She couldn’t commit to it enough for it to make a significant difference, but I was curious, thus tried it.

I’ve experienced some great results; weight loss, less fatigue, greater ability to study, clearer skin, and my sight has improved. I had to get new glasses as a result (although I haven’t needed to wear them often.)

I have a pretty supportive family when it comes to keto (eg. my grandma making me keto bread, people getting less starchy vegetables, etc.) but my stepmom is pretty against it. About 4.5 months ago I admitted to losing weight on keto to my dad, and so he decided to cut back on his refined carb & sugar intake (he’s pretty good on it, but has a weakness for beer.) He lost 14 pounds (he was a normal weight when he started), no longer takes medication for high blood pressure, and is able to get more done when working.

My dad and I could talk about keto, intermittent fasting (oh yeah, forgot to mention I’ve been doing intermittent fasting for about 2 months now, too), etc. all day long, but the problem is my stepmom loves to yell-interrupt us to talk about how unhealthy keto is every time we do. “Everything in moderation,” she says. “I don’t understand how a diet where you can’t eat fruits and vegetables is healthy” she says, regardless of how many times I say that you can have non-starchy vegetables and some fruits in small quantities.

Up until I was about 11, I refused to eat fruits and vegetables (potatoes included, I was a kid who wouldn’t eat a french fry.) even if it meant going to bed without food. I lived on carbs on sugar on carbs on sugar for most of my life, and she complained less about that than keto. I also restricted my calories to under 1000 for months in an attempt to lose weight a few years back, and she knew about that, but it seems to have bothered her less than keto.

She is skin and bones, and manages a so-called “healthy” restaurant (one following the whole low-fat thing, although their food is filled with sugar.) She can eat whatever she wants and however much she wants (I’ve seen her eat 3 giant sandwiches and a tub of ice cream) without gaining a pound.

My aunt and her husband went gluten-free about a year ago due to celiac’s, but they recently converted over to keto. When my stepmom heard about that, she said in a tone “Why did her husband go on that?” my dad said “probably to support -my aunt-” and she said “I can understand -my aunt- going on keto, but her husband? It’s not a healthy diet to be on, way too much fat and not enough grains.” My dad and step mom were going to get coffee one day from a drive thru, and my step mom looked to the back at me and said “do you want anything? they have no-fat, low-carb options! are you sure?” I told my dad she said that and he said “she’s just trying to be nice, I know you have trouble with that”

This frustrates me. When I talk to my dad about it he says “she can have her own opinion.” Yes, she can have her own opinion, but sometimes when she talks it sounds like she doesn’t even know what keto is, despite my dad and I talking about it 1,000 times. I get that I should suck it up, but hearing “everything in moderation” and stupid quotes like that over and over again despite making it clear I don’t want her diet advice is getting pretty annoying. Plus it’d be nice to have an uninterrupted conversation with my dad.

Sorry if this is posted in the wrong topic, I’m new here and don’t know how everything works. Also, sorry this turned out to be more of a vent post then planned.

(Ron) #2

Go rent “the magic pill” on Netflix or here and make her watch it with you.

Then show her this video.

#3

We all watched it together recently, she yelled at the screen throughout the whole thing. When it ended she started saying that people should have enough common sense to know what a healthy diet is, and not have to watch a movie to tell them what to eat, then ended her speech with “everything in moderation”

I have seen that DietDoctor thing, and talked to my dad about it but have not showed my stepmom. I will show her next time I visit my dad. I think just the title will piss her off.

(Ron) #4

Sounds to me like your not going to get anywhere so I wouldn’t even try. Talk about it with your dad in the privacy of the two of you. Don’t mention it around her and eat what you choose. If she tries to tell you how to eat just explain you don’t need any help in how you choose to eat and get healthy.
If she gets out of hand about it then ask your dad to step in and resolve this issue. (he should anyways, especially if he understands keto) Maybe you just need to ask as he doesn’t realize how you are feeling.

(Troy) #5

To the Bat Phone😂a shout out call for @KidKeto

And welcome aboard @Halo

Good Luck!!

#6

Duh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh, KidKeto!
I guess @KidKeto and I are both teenage guinea pigs on keto :stuck_out_tongue:

and thanks :slight_smile:

#7

I hear you.
I 100 percent hear you.

I have the same issue with my husband. He says similar things to your mother. I cannot stand hearing anymore “you can eat whatever you want if you use moderation” as he has said it that much.

Drives me crazy. Reasons for that is I want his acceptance even if his opinion is different. I want his understanding even if he goes a different course. Most of all I want his support and encouragement! :slight_smile:

I have discussed with him how much I need his support and to not speak negatively of something that is helping me SO MUCH.

If I were in your situation with mom/dad I would probably explain to both of them that I am 1. looking for support, 2. looking for encouragement, 3. no more negative speak.

My two cents, for free, lol.

#8

P.S. He has gotten way better in his support and negative speak. Kudos to husband!

#9

Thank you for relating with me :wink:
I was nervous to post here, because I don’t usually do social media or posting of any kind, but I’m glad that I did :blush:

I will apply what you and mtncntrykid suggested in my situation and hope for the best :slight_smile:

I’m glad to hear that things have gotten better :slightly_smiling_face:

(matt ) #10

I’m certainly not a teen but here are my thoughts. Your step mom has control issues and is not happy that you are stepping out and doing your own thing. She sees this as a threat and is going to try to undermine you every step of the way. I don’t think that your father’s line of thinking is in your best interest. He should support your decision and while your step mom is 100% entitled to her opinion she should also be expected to respect yours. If she is disrespecting you he needs to address that with her. If she cannot be polite she should focus on shutting her mouth.

Stay the course.

(Linda) #11

Here’s some unsolicited advice from an old fart who wishes I had figured this out decades ago. Sometimes the best thing to do with folks like your step mom is to smile and nod and then do what you want.

(Michelle) #12

I have two teenage daughters. The oldest is 19 and has been through different phases nutritionally. STandard American Diet, Veganism, and now Vegetarianism. I have found that it doesn’t do a thing other than create hostility when I attempt to change their minds.

What I can do is offer nutritious food that falls within their chosen parameters. When she was a vegan, I made sure she had plenty of healthy fats and protein. She had a variety of foods from which to choose to pack in her lunch. Avocados, Peanut butter, sliced apples, berries, hummus. It would be unsupportive if I had just rolled on buying what we normally ate and made her choose from that.

Allowing teens to choose their nutrition is part of a bigger picture - they learn to understand the consequences of their actions. Eat a donut for breakfast and you get hungry way before lunch. Have a hard boiled egg and you are satisfied through your morning at school or work.

Your father should applaud you for taking ownership of your health and making educated decisions. Let the stepmom yell if that is her way. But don’t let her bully you into eating what she says to eat. You are old enough to eat what you want. Don’t expect her to cook it for you, but you should expect your dad to buy the food for you. Perhaps you can offer to come along for the grocery shopping.

Let your results speak for themselves. Come here often for support. It is good to see a young person making healthy choices for her body and future. :heart:

#13

@Halo
You’ve gotten some great advice here! Basically, just do your thing and ignore her best you can.

This is absolutely not about diet/WOE; it’s just about control and whatever her other issues are. I’m a stepmom (and mom) myself, and the idea of treating my step kids like this… argh! It’s appalling.

Congratulations on your wonderful success, and please enjoy the folks around you who are supportive (yay for grandma for making you keto bread and to your dad for throwing himself in with you!), and just do your best to tune out your stepmom. My guess it that the less you engage, the less she’ll want to dig in since she just won’t get any traction. Smile, nod, change the subject. Repeat as needed.

(You've tried everything else; why not try bacon?) #14

Try not to think of your stepmom’s behavior as aimed personally at you. She has her own food issues, and you have destabilized a nice, cozy, dysfunctional situation by growing healthier. I doubt your stepmom is even aware of how she is reacting; usually in such situations the dynamics all work themselves out sub-consciously.

This means that you are not likely to make much headway by confronting your stepmother directly. Instead, try to see the fear that is distorting her behavior, and try to feel some compassion for this poor woman whose relationship to food is so screwed up that she needs to take her feelings out on somebody who is merely trying to become healthier. It is very natural for a dysfunctional situation to resist healthy change; but if you can stand your ground long enough, it is likely that the resistance will eventually subside. I have faith in your ability to stand firm, because you have already shown that you have the strength to work towards your own greater health. You have a lot to be proud of.

Try also not to believe that this burden is going to be on your shoulders for the rest of your life—that is an extremely uncomfortable place to be, and there is no need to go there. Instead, just concentrate on getting through the next twenty-four hours. Your growing health—mental, as well as physical—might even push your stepmom into becoming healthier as well, who knows?

Remember this, too: you are not in this alone. The forum community is full of people who can provide you encouragement and help in your journey. Don’t hesitate to keep us up to date with how things are going for you.

(GINA ) #15

You have a lot of good advice here already, but I just wanted to point out that she is also trying to defend her own livelihood if she owns a “healthy” restaurant. She has to be seeing the tide is turning against her out in the world, and you are a successful example of it at home.

This is pure speculation on my part, but she may also feel insecure in her place in the extended family. First, she is a ‘step’ which is already difficult, and it sounds like the extended family is ‘siding’ (which is a silly way to look at it, but people silly things sometimes) with you by being keto themselves like your dad and aunt and uncle, or making you special keto food like your grandmother. She probably feels like she is an expert on food and nutrition since she runs the restaurant and has never been overweight and they are ignoring her.

(Cristian Lopez) #16

HI @Halo, Let me introduce myself,my name is Cristian and Im 16 and have been doing keto for 2 years byt more recently started doing cyclical keto with one low fat/carb up day a week for weight lifting performance benifits.

Now I was reading what your step mom said

“Everything in moderation,” she says. “I don’t understand how a diet where you can’t eat fruits and vegetables is healthy” she says, regardless of how many times I say that you can have non-starchy vegetables and some fruits in small quantities.

I HAVE NEVER CRINGED SO HARD
sorry but not everything straight from mother nature is healthy, for example bananas prehistorically were more starchy and small due to there seed size but we humans have changed so many fruits with our gmo that most fruits are sugar bombs that pump fructose straight to your liver!!

On my carb up days I mainly eat raw Oatmeal, Yams,tubers and potatoes!, skim milk, and lots of lean fish and chicken

but there is a reason I leave that all to one day
Its not spoken of much of but the secret rule to having a good diet to be healthy and look well fit.

High fat low carb
or
Low fat High carb

I go for keto 6 days a week and feel awesome but do the carb up to get the best of both worlds so I can replace muscle glycogen to get better pumps in the gym. I keep it low fat since my insulin must be crazy high on those days and dont want dietary fat affecting my lean 140 lb weight at 5,5 and only 8.5% BODY FAT!!

These are some of my philosophies and I hope your mom one day realizes the skinny on fat!
FR

Ive done so much research on keto that Im sure no one my age knows as much as me about keto.
Like I can perfectly explain the break down of ketone bodys into acetoacetate, beta-hydroxybutyrate, and their spontaneous breakdown product, acetone.

Keto on Halo and feel free to private message me about anything. I would really write a 10 page report to convince your step mom.

(Ken) #17

Here’s a different take to use on your Stepmother. All the above responses come from the Noob perspective, not the long term one. I’m not saying that they’re invalid, just short sighted due to inexperience. You have to be able to explain the long term Science.

Since keto is for losing fat and eliminating derangement, that’s what everyone is focused on, and rightly so. It requires sustained lipolysis as the primary State, often for years. Even so it’s a temporary condition, and is not necessary once derangement and weight issues are dealt with. So, you should explain the Keto is a tool, used to alleviate detrimental conditions that have taken quite a while to develop.

Once good health has been achieved and Maintenance is desired things get more flexible. As long as you don’t chronically overcompensate glycogen and readapt back into lipogenesis, you can eat fruits and veggies periodically and intermittantly. As long as eating fat based is your primary pattern. It’s totally healthy.

You just have to have her understand the Science. For being overweight and deranged, Keto is the way to alleviate. Then, understanding the role of carbs within Maintenance is the key.

(Cristian Lopez) #18

So your saying cyclical Keto is unhealthy
@240lbfatloss

(Ken) #19

No, I’m not sure you understand my point. First of all, forget the word “Ketosis”. It’s a matter of lipolytic vs. lipogenic hormonal secretion States. When in Maintenance, IMO, it’s beneficial to occasionally and periodically to eat lipogenically for metabolic purposes. As long as it is not chronic enough to cause a sustained overcompensation of glycogen. It that context, it’s a “cycle”

That’s the point for the OP’s Stepmom, once in Maintenance, she can eat carbs within the context of a Cycle.