My sister in law who I’m not particularly close with has invited our family to Christmas Eve dinner and she is serving enchilads. I’m to bring the dessert which I can easily make keto but would it be rude to bring your own entree? I’ve never discussed my being keto with her though I imagine she’s heard indirectly.
Alternately, should I just eat the enchilada she’s serving without eating the tortilla to make life easier and maybe not offend her.
My own solution is to just eat ‘around’ what’s served, but if you plan to bring your own entree, I’d let the hostess know beforehand to avoid any problem that might ruin the holiday for you and others.
Just outta curiosity, could you fit eating a tortilla into your macros? Or could you adjust your eating, such as maybe fasting for 24 hours before the Christmas Eve dinner such that you could have a little of her entree and not be so far off your diet?
Depending upon what she plans to put into that tortilla, it may not be as horrible as feared. If it’s a matter of 25g of carbs, it may not even be enough to have a noticeable effect on ketosis if it’s something you’ve planned for.
If your SIL is also having things like a salad or other veggies that you can eat, so much the better for avoiding or at least minimizing the enchilada. If the enchilada is all there is, it’s a little harder to avoid. But taking your own entree might be seen as rude. SIL might feel like she’s not good enough to cook for you and may take it more personally than you intend. Would hate for that to be the source of bad feelings if they need not be.
In that light, you could offer to take some other things that are keto friendly besides the dessert. It gets so much easier when you can have a full plate of something, even if it’s not the main course.
Best of luck! I hope it turns out that the worry is way worse than the event. 
Well… I tend to be more direct…
Can you call her and say “hey, just wanted to let you know that I’ll be bringing my own food. Didn’t want you to worry or think it weird I wasn’t eating what is being prepared”?
If not, just bring it, eat it, and enjoy it. If anyone asks, either be prepared to explain that you’re eating keto and what that is, or come up with a reason (or not actually) of what you’re comfortable with. I tend to just smile and wink and move on.
And no, you shouldn’t just “eat X” to make anyone else happy. It definitely doesn’t make YOUR life easier, does it?
I had this same situation not too long ago. I called and said I was on a complete dietary 360 & would she be offended if I brought something for myself and that way she wouldn’t be put out. (She wasn’t mad at all- she is going to start Keto when she’s breastfed her newborn a little bit longer!)
It worked for me! Good luck whichever way you go.
I would definitely have a conversation with her beforehand, let her know about your dietary restrictions, and say you’d like to bring an entree that you can share with everyone, perhaps something that may compliment enchiladas.
I ended up just asking her if I could bring a low carb and she seemed fine about it and I’m sure it will be. Sometimes I get a little too in my head about things. Perhaps I feel like I’m being judged-as people with dietary restrictions can be seen as a pain in the neck dinner guest.
you shouldn’t just “eat X” to make anyone else happy
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This is very important and I agree completely
Thanks I had considered that though the little indulging I’ve already done has left my stomach feeling awful or triggered headaches so it’s not just the weight loss I’m concerned with. Sometimes I wonder if going keto has sensitized me too much.
Ahhh, good for you!
And yes, we are often times our own worst enemy.
Family in general are pains in the necks 
(kidding I kid! 
) (kinda)
If you do decide to eat some of the meal presented, you could prepare yourself before had by having some eggs and avocado or bacon 2hr to an hr before going to her place. Then when you arrive eat the things that fit for you.
Glad you got it all worked out!
It’s hard to know what to say when someone has a question like this because there is so much variation in the group.
To some, eating a single carb is life altering with the associated crisis well attached. To some, they’ll eat just about anything that’ll fit into their macros. To some, they’ll want to avoid certain specifics (as an example, meat, if they’re vegetarian). None are wrong, just different.
Definitely listen to you past experience of what your body tells you it doesn’t like. I can’t think of any reasonable people who would argue with that. It’s not a whole lot different than an allergy.
While I understand the more strict, I tend to be of the camp that will eat a little from the “forbidden” carb list when the situation seems to call for it. But I don’t have the repercussions that some seem to. I don’t feel awful if I have a serving of beans or corn, or even a tiny piece of standard sugar laden pie or cake. But I don’t want to do it all the time and make it a point not to. Someone with addictions, food allergies or maybe T1D would not be as permissive.
Kinda curious, though, what do you think you’ll take?
Having the same issue with my upcoming Christmas Eve. My sister is hosting and she’s doing things differently this year: stuffed shrimp and pierogies. Of course I won’t eat either of those and asked her if I could bring a honey-baked ham, large enough for all 14 people. I explained that there were at least 4 people that I knew of attending that are either gluten-free or carb-free and that if I brought meat then everyone would be covered.
She’s good with that.
Sue
Haha, as a newbie, 10 days in, the test of will power will be tested by everyone on Keto during the holidays. I am from the south and my family has a Masters in Carbs with a Post Doctorate in sweets like pecan pie. So unless I am going to dig the turkey out of the dressing or wash the pecans off that I dig out of a slice of pie, I doubt I will find much of anything I can eat.
So in regards to your issue at hand, I advise you to stick to your diet, by being on this diet you have finally decided YOU deserve to look and feel your best. Look for food that is within your diet, as I will be doing Christmas Eve. And hey, the diet will make a great conversation piece that doesn’t include religion or politics, although at a feast will probably fall on deaf ears. I would guess long time Keto dieters can probaby have a cheat day, although most swear the reckoning of that cheating can be a gastric nightmare.
I had to laugh at the truth of THAT. I’m in Georgia and the entire town here in the mountains has a masters in homemade fudge! It’s at every check out…even the feed store! Which is ironic to say the least. LOL
Not at all. I bring my own and say special diet, doctors orders. OR if the party is in the evening, I fast and drink mineral water.
I learned to do this in early 2012. Once I set those limits, my friends and family learned that I was very serious about my health. I had to teach them this by setting the boundary.
There are some who make fun of me, but I don’t care. After 40 years of obesity (age 6 to 46) at age 51, I’ve been made fun of most days of my life. Now I polite but firmly set boundaries, feel great, and still slide into size six jeans almost 6 years now.
People pleasing is a disease. Treatment can start with boundary setting and self-care. Best wishes and only I decide what goes in my body.
Many years ago, I invited my pastor to dinner. He phoned to accept, and then explained to me that he was a Type 1 diabetic and had some dietary restrictions (which he detailed). I had absolutely no problem with accommodating his needs.
Now I feel the same about my own dietary issues. I lost close to 180 lbs eight years ago and have been successfully maintaining ever since–only be eating very low carb. For the past two years, I’ve
been ‘carnivore’ (also known as ‘zero carb’), and I regard my WOE as essential to my health as my
former pastor’s diabetic WOE.
I rarely eat at anyone’s home, except my family who understand my dietary issues. But if I were invited to someone’s home for a meal, I’d have no problem explaining my dietary restrictions because it’s a health issue for me.
To be honest macros don’t mean too much to me, I eat sweet potatoes or grain free chips once in a while. What I eat is far more important as it can trigger asthma, migraine or just activates my sugar addiction tendencies.
I’ll be taking a keto version of chicken enchiladas. It’s a favorite of mine, I make my own sauce and swap the tortillas for thinly shaved zucchini. Here’s the recipe if your curious:
For dessert I’m taking a keto coconut cream pie. It’s one of the few dessert recipes I’ve already made so I know it’s a winner.
