How to explain to eight year old that two peaches and a banana is "enough carbs"

(Aimee Moisa) #1

My daughter, age almost 9, has been hearing me talk about the benefits of low carb since she was in utero. Since I started keto on May 20 we have not restricted her access to fruit but we did remove all pasta, bread, and processed carbs from our pantry so she doesnt get them at home and she is allowed one small candy/sweet a week.

This morning she said this to my hisband and he just texted me it: “Emma is asking already what we are going to do for lunch. “Can we go to subway? We haven’t been there in a long time.” “I feel like I don’t eat enough carbs.””

Yesterday Hubby and I were discussing/theorizing doing a seasonal diet just to see what happens: fruits when they are in season, meats from the local farms, etc. It was more of a thought experiment than a plan. My daughter was listening to us and she burst out crying that she wouldnt get peaches anymore. sigh It’s like she doesnt even listen. She is such a drama queen. I have patiently, calmly explained to her all the food changes I am doing and that the only thing she cant have is bread, pasta, and sugar at home.

Yesterday she had two peaches and a banana, she had McDonalds with her dad on Tuesday and a real quesadilla for dinner in a restaurant last night and chicken noodle soup with a side of bread at Panera last Sunday.

How much more carbs does this girl want to eat?!?

#2

She’s a child and she’s not on a diet, correct? She’s ok.

I have been a teacher for over 20 years and my advice would be to let the food thing go unless there is a reason for her to be restricting carbs. If you and your hubby enjoy it and it suits you, great. When she’s at your house you can choose to buy fruit or not, you can make meals sans grains easily enough. But putting this much power into “can” and "can not " foods for a little girl (I realize it’s her doing that maybe more than you) might lead to more serious issues than a peach or a banana down the road.

(Aimee Moisa) #3

She is not on a diet. She’s skinny like crazy. She usually eats like a bird unless she’s having a growth spurt, which I think she’s having right now.

Regarding your second paragraph, maybe I didn’t explain myself correctly.

I never tell her what she can and cannot eat when we’re out and about, except the normal “no, you can’t have chocolate cake for dinner” kind of thing. The hopefully-healthy “sweets only rarely” kind of parenting. The only non-sweet pushing we do is when she refuses to try something new we have a rule that she has to try at least one bite and she can spit it out if she REALLY doesn’t like it.

To help with my keto regimen we don’t bring sweets, pasta, bread, or cereals into the house anymore. She is welcome to eat any of that when we eat out (except sweets), which we do at least 3 or 4 times a week. I eat a steak and a salad and fats, and she can have pizza or hamburger or tacos or whatever, which she does. Last night she had some quarters and wanted to get something from one of those little grocery store candy/toy vending machines. She asked if she could get candy and I told her it wasn’t a good idea because she should have candy only rarely and she gets a piece of candy on Fridays. I said that since it was her money she could do what she wanted with it and she could get it if she wanted to and it wouldn’t bother me and I wouldn’t complain but I wanted her to understand that she was getting candy now instead of getting it Friday. She made up her mind to use her quarters on the little toy dispenser instead of getting the candy. She also ate pizza for lunch yesterday, two peaches for breakfast, a banana for snack, and a quesadilla for dinner.

This morning she said she thinks she isn’t eating enough carbs. I thought she understood what carbs were and that she eats TONS. Now I’m at a loss at how to talk to her about it in a way that she’ll understand.

(You've tried everything else; why not try bacon?) #4

I never had kids myself, but a wise parent once told me that the key is distraction. As she put it, you ask the kid whether they want to put their left hand or their right into the jacket first—they never notice that you are requiring the jacket. And another parent friend confided that she hoped to keep her teenagers arguing about haircuts and bedtimes, as a distraction from tattoos and drugs.

So, might there a way you can frame your daughter’s choices in a way that hides the fact that you are limiting carbs? If you figure it out, I’m sure there are plenty of other parents here who would love to hear it.

(Mary) #5

I have no idea if this will be helpful for your daughter but I know it would have worked for mine - make a game of tracking everything she eats for a day (MFP, cronometer, etc). She’ll see in black and white exactly how many carbs she’s eating and I bet it’ll deflate her concerns about “not enough carbs”.

(Jessica) #6

I would proceed very carefully about tracking anything like this for a child. I would be very afraid of setting them up for disordered eating.

Food as fuel for growing and learning is good. Focusing on the importance of strong, active and healthy bodies is good. Limiting sugar is great. But I personally wouldn’t focus on macronutrients or tracking with my children.

(Michelle) #7

“shhhh honey, have some bacon,” would work for my five year old son. :joy:

In all seriousness, she is at a very impressionable age and will absolutely pick up on your obsession with food. Even if it is a healthy obsession with enjoying foods that are good for you. It probably makes her feels smart to use words like “carbs” because she hears it a lot from the adults in the house. I’d probably explain that she has had enough fruit today and that in order to grow healthy and strong her body needs a balanced diet of veggies, protein, and fats. Show her the keto food pyramid and help her to make some choices. She is at an age where she wants some autonomy in her life, and choosing what you eat is one area over which she would like to assert some independence. You have such a great opportunity to teach healthy food choices that will stay with her forever.

#8

As a parent I would ask questions back.
“I don’t think I’ve been eating enough carbs.”
“Oh, why do you say that?”

Simple, ask ask ask. FInd out where her mind is and then teach. Maybe she doesn’t know what foods have carbs, maybe she doesn’t understand that her body doesn’t need them really (I mean to understand that it’s not something to worry about - not talking about restricting them)

Maybe she’s just worried her favorite foods are going to be cut and it’s a way to express that. Hard to say without asking lots of questions.

(Trina) #9

Can you maybe change from saying carbs to saying sugar? I have 3 little ones (oldest 5) and I still buy bread for them and all the fruit they want, we removed pasta and flour and sugar etc from the house. The oldest will often ask why mummy and daddy don’t eat bread anymore and we say it’s got too much sugar for us, she doesn’t know what a carb is yet but she knows what sugar is.

(Aimee Moisa) #10

These are awesome suggestions everyone, thank you very much. I’ll definitely ask her more questions and make sure to educate her on what a carb actually is in case there’s some confusion. I always assume she knows more than she does because she’s so articulate and savvy.

#11

You will NEVER make sense to her on why you’re doing that. All she knows/hears is she can’t have something she likes, something the rest of the world will tell her is healthy. When she’s older sure, but the reality is she’s a kid with a nuclear powered metabolism that can chew through almost anything you throw at it. I completely agree with not setting up the kids for failure like most of us were but you gotta be strategic about it. Limit to much and you’re going to have one of the kids that start a school food trade business and you’ll clean the bottom of her closet one day and find willy wonkas missing candy factory. Don’t want to push it to the point where it backfires.

#12

Good for you, personally I would just point out the she can have an abundance of strawberries/raspberries/blackberries slathered in cream. This idea that you can’t guide your child into better eating habits is ridiculous to me. As long as there is no restriction calorically she has more than enough choices for you to set her up for the best health in her adult life. She will thank you for it later.

(Aimee Moisa) #13

At the beginning of last school year (MONTHS before I started even talking about doing keto and months before we stopped bringing carbs into the house) I found her backpack leaking liquid on the floor one day. I opened it up and I found weeks worth of fruit that she’d taken from the share box at school sitting in various stages of decay rotting in the bottom of her front pouch. She couldn’t tell me why she’d done it. She had a lot of behavior problems in school last year but things are getting better.

(Aimee Moisa) #14

Yes, I explained that to her yesterday, that children are getting sick too young because of the bad food choices their parents are making and not making for them and that those illnesses are being caused by carbs. Then today she tells her dad she thinks she’s not getting enough carbs, after a day of eating that would put most of us in a diabetic coma.

#15

Lol, she will hate you for many other things as she goes through adolescents, it’s her job to test the boundaries. Stay strong @ladylyssa.

(Alec) #16

Aimee
I have 2 kids aged 16 and 13, and I have been careful to educate and not isolate. Meaning I explain what I do and why I do it, and then let them make their own mind up ie leading by example. I am convinced this works, even if it doesn’t seem to in the short term. But the “what is expected around here” thing is powerful. Rules are few in our house, we try to encourage good decision making and if a poor decision leads to consequences, there’s some discussion on where those consequences came from.

My advice is to stick to the education. For a 9 year old that often means saying the same thing again and again and again and again, but being patient beyond words. That is good parenting. Might drive you mad, but patience is everything.

You are, by your own admission, a control freak, so I would advise to let her make mistakes and talk to her when she does. And be patient.

Good luck. Kids don’t come with a manual, it is often the hardest thing we do!
Cheers
Alec

#18

@stefanilinn I wasn’t judging at all, I was being supportive and I think @ladylyssa understood that. As for having healthy children hence they can eat whatever they want-what until they’re not healthy? This is why we have such a rise in childhood obesity and diabetes.

I’m allowed my opinion as much as anyone else. We are all adults here, I didn’t say anything that would jeopardise critical thinking or continued discourse.

#19

I don’t have kids, so I’ll keep my opinion to myself. I just add this antidote: my 5 year old niece is Italian, loves pasta and eats it regularly. She will have measurable ketones and basal BG level within a few hours of a meal regardless of its composition. So long as her body is capable of handling the carb intake, there is no problem from a physiological perspective.

#20

This is what I do. My oldest is 8 and I just tell her I’ve cut out sugar. Bread, pasta, rice etc. has too much sugar. If she wants more details she’ll ask and I’ll explain.

(Lorraine) #21

Long before I began dong keto and my daughter was around 9 or 10, I began talking to her about choosing healthy things to eat for lunch, either at school or packing a lunch from home. I realized that she really didn’t understand the difference between a carb and a protein when she was putting an apple in her lunch and called it a protein. I switched to calling things meat, veggie, fruit or dessert/snack. That helped a lot when I told her to put one of each in her lunchbox. She seemed happier to understand better what I was talking about as far as types of food and did a better job of packing a variety of foods instead of all fruit. It certainly seemed to help encourage her to eat the missing food type vs. always scolding her about carbs or sugar.