So happy I found this forum. I just started doing keto “for life” about 3 weeks ago and I like the idea of having a place to chat about everything that’s going on with it. I started a blog as a personal journal of my keto experiences but I’m using it more like a private diary and not advertising. But sometimes you can be inside your own head too much and it’s nice having a place to go where everybody knows your name and you can just sit back and share the goings on in your life with someone else who is doing the same thing you’re doing.
A little bit about myself:
I learned about the benefits of low-carb when I was diagnosed with PCOS in 2001. I read everything I could about it and realized it was just the female version of Syndrome X. I discovered through reading physiology books and research papers that eating lower carbs, basically doing Atkins, would cure my PCOS and help me lose weight. At the time I was mainly concerned about losing weight and looking better. In February 2008 I hit 296 and that motivated me to sustain low-carb for longer than a couple weeks at a time. As I expected the PCOS went into remission and my cycle became regular. Then I got pregnant in November 2008. I was 38 with my first pregnancy. I know that miracle was a direct result of doing low-carb.
Right after getting pregnant I started eating high-carb, high fat again and went back to my pre-low-carb weight, high BP, and the PCOS returned. Now it’s eight years later and I’m 40 pounds heavier than that. I can’t play actively with my daughter, two obese friends have died in the last 6 months sending me into an emotional tailspin, I’m worried of seeing my daughter graduate high school let alone graduate college, and I wake up every day wondering if this is the day I break a knee or the day I have a stroke or just my last day on Earth.
I don’t know what my A1c is. I have the doctor’s lab test orders crumpled in my purse but I can’t bring myself to go to the lab. My feet have started falling asleep on me at random times. My BP is high and is being erratically controlled by two prescriptions. I’ve been deeply depressed since the first of my friends died back in January. I can’t even reach my feet to tie my own shoes. There’s no point taking the blood test. I know what’s going on and I know how to fix it.
So, I’m done with carbs. Yeah, bread, doughnuts, pasta, brownies, potatoes, and I all had a big sensual love affair going back to the beginning of my life but it has all turned to poison in my body and there is no other choice. Like an actual abusive lover, no matter how painful it is or how much you love them you just have to say goodbye. And maybe change your phone number. And your zip code. To help myself remember what carbs do to me my family has started calling carbs “arsenic”. Small amounts are thought to be necessary, like an essential nutrient, but more than that and you start a slow, painful path towards death.
Anyway, thanks for reading my ramble.
Aimee
P.S. I have Binge Eating Disorder which is why I couldn’t maintain low-carb all those years even though I believed very strongly in the science proving it’s benefits. Last year I went through an intensive therapy program and am doing much better inside my skull. Not 100%, but if I wait until I’m perfect inside my skull then nothing will ever get better inside the rest of me.
