Gah! Frustrated by Friends! "Help me get skinny but don't make me change a thing!"

(Bacon, Not Stirred) #1

OMG I am so FREAKING sick and tired of people going “Oh my gosh you have so much energy”, “Wow, you’re losing so much weight”, “I wish I was skinnier”, “I wish I wasn’t so tired all the time” and then asking what I’m doing.

I explain. They can’t wait to join me. I walk them through sample meals, get their macros set for them, help them shop, etc. Recipes, support, check-ins and more.

They last for a week, at best. One in particular texted me at noon the day she started and said “I was bad, I ate pizza”. Great. That’s awesome for you. Now I’m out.

I know this all sounds mean or something, but geez! Don’t make me exercise. Don’t make me give up carbs. Don’t make me eat veggies. Let me keep fueling my body with garbage. Then, let me get frustrated because it’s working for you and not for me.

Gah!

Anyone else ever experience this? How do you politely tell those friends and family members to leave you alone and stop asking you for help since you know they won’t change?

(Karen Fricke) #2

For some people jumping into the deep end might be too much. Maybe the first week or two work on eating whole foods and eliminating processed food. After that, decreasing carbs and increasing fat. Slower, less drastic changes can be easier to maintain.

(Teresa Driver) #3

Yes, and it’s especially hard when it comes from people who harangued me about my weight prior to the start of Keto. I just want to scream at them, “You have seen what this has done for my health. I have been so open about the reason I don’t look like a success story yet is because I have a lot more going on endocrinologically than just insulin resistance. I have shared my labwork, I have shared my hacks. You know it won’t be easy at first, but you know that if it didn’t get easier I couldn’t do it. Please don’t waste my time. I will help you any way I can, but I will not give you excuses to not do it.”

(jay) #4

I save myself the frustration by looking them straight in the eye and asking if they think they can give up beer (I know the Austraiians have a 0 carb beer but thats not the point) If they say sure no problem then they are likely serious {has not happend yet by the way), Usually they get a shocked look total horror…then i walk away…least it works on most guys, despite having sisters Im not too sure how well my technique would work on the ladies…though hot french bread with garlic might be a good substitute.

(Bruce Millman) #5

I have friends who want the weight loss, but will not give up carbs. Best way to deal with this is to compare a meal of a cheeseburger without a bun, dollop of high fat cottage cheese, coffee with heavy cream, fried egg on top. Coleslaw on the side. Compare this to a waffle breakfast. I asked my friends what they thought was more filling? They all realized that the high fat, moderate protein meal was more filling than waffles-- but they ate the waffles with syrup! They were amazed with my weight loss, but not willing to understand the cico (calories in/out) hypothesis was bunk! Sometimes there is no point but to agree to disagree and move on. I have had some that have said I lost too much weight etc… but when they see what I eat, they are shocked. I realize eating too much protein is bad for you, but as a treat once in while it is much more preferable to over do protein than carbs…

(jay) #6

I think we all deal with this in some manner. The thing is if they need to lose weight (due a the cascade of complicating heath issues) or do they just have the wanna’s. (if only I could wear that suit/dress for the wedding)
The thing is Keto with all its benifiets is not a trivial lifestyle change in the light of our current cultural, medical, and economic investment in carbs/sugars, so the level of motivation to invest in such a change is usually driven by the realization they have been fed a load of dietary bull that does not work (failled diets, and failling healthy). When the 2 Keto Dudes talk about chosing toes over burgers it provides a kind of motivation scale, a typical tipping point for most of us…“earlier adopters”
My got to test for friends/coworkers is to look them in the eye and ask " Can you give up beer?" if a look of disbelief and horror fills their face, i know i got a wanna and I just move on.

(Danelle Derks Scott Nelson) #7

I totally relate. I lost my best friend over this. She would tell me, when I was 45 pounds overweight, that I should do a 4 day bike ride or 5 k, etc. I should do an hour of cardio a day…I tried. I felt she was encouraging me. NOTHING helped until KETO. Suddenly I start losing all this weight and she doesn’t say a THING. Until it was so obvious, and she asked what I was doing and when I told her, she scoffed it!!! She wants to believe the mainstream because it’s worked for her until now. Mind you, she eats 1,000 calories a day, works out everyday and is rail thin. Recently, she is gaining because of thyroid issues (from the stress of working out and eating nothing!) . I’m concerned so I started asking her why she is doing so much cardio. She…was SOOOO offended! I’m just like, wow. Ok. So we just don’t relate anymore. I would just tell your friends about the ways you learned and the tools that you use and the rest is up to them. I share my pinterest keto recipe page with friends, tell them the books and podcasts I learned from and show them cronometer online. It’s been a full time job to learn about and implement for me at first. You can’t do all that for them. They won’t be invested or educated enough to follow through. It’s funny how they judged you for “not being disciplined” and now that they have the answers, they aren’t disciplined. Interesting!

(Doug) #8

So true, Danielle. They need to understand the hormone science behind a ketogenic diet, and they really have to want to do it.