Fed up


(Hoteski) #1

I’ve been doing keto for a year and a half. Had my breaks in-between done excerize and then not done it. Lost over 3st and still another 3 fuvking stone left .

I’ve not been great with it this week as I’m pms and just wanted to relax it a little. I’ll get back to it tomorrow.

I’m fed up that my body is intolerant to carbs. That I literally can’t loose weight unless I stick to keto only food. I’m fed up my bf keeps reminding me that this is the case when he eats all the crap he likes and doesn’t put on a pound. It really winds me up

As it stands I’ll just always be the fat girl and I’m fed up with it !!!


(Michael - Don't expect miracles and you won't be disappointed.) #2

(Marianne) #3

:cry:

I’m sorry you are disgusted and discouraged. Three stone is a lot, IMO. That’s seven of these - that’s how much came off of your body!

image

Your bf may be eating whatever he wants and staying the same weight, but your body and metabolism is way healthier than his. Tell him to STFU. :joy: (Obviously, he’s never suffered with food addiction.)

Good luck.


(Carl Keller) #4

Be honest with him about your feelings. If he won’t be a little more sensitive to your emotional needs and triggers, then he’s not worth keeping. People who try to intentionally wind you up are not called boyfriends; they are called offspring, siblings or so-called-friends.

You’ve climbed half a mountain so far and that’s something to be proud of. Don’t give up on all the hard work you’ve put in so far and try to relax. Stress is not going to help you achieve your goals. Keep it going and keep eating the right food. An immunity to eating garbage isn’t something to brag about and it never lasts forever.


(Marianne) #5

So true!


(Hoteski) #6

He:s not winding me up per say… He just reminds me of my goals when I start to slip up but he can eat what he likes without dear of anything other than diabetes due the sheer amount of sugar he keeps consuming.


(Hoteski) #7

I’m just pissed off


(Ellenor Malik) #8

You’ve got to do a Dr Joanne (don’t know her surname; British GP who has spoken at the PHC) style “the hell ya doin?” type intervention.


(Hoteski) #9

Well right now I’m back on track. Had a week off being lax and it affected my mood and thought process which isn’t great as I have bpd. I know that when I stick to the diet im a lot more level headed. So roast beef with green veg will be dinner today and I’ll stick to just eating that as my body is adapted to omad.

I’ve had pms been stressed with work and I was trying to help someone else who is struggling more than me mentally but in doing so I was pushing my self back as it brought back a lot of thoughts and memories I need to keep forgotten as I don’t want to go back to a struggling borderline personality disorder patient.

So today is s new day,

Getting back on track thankfully is easier since I’ve done this for so long. Positive thinking is all I can do.

My bf is supportive, I apologize for having a rant, was just fed up and not in the right frame of mind and needed to vent.


(Jennibc) #10

Crap food does this to our brains. I suspect it has to do with our microbiomes and what our individual colonies are made up of. I have just surrendered to the idea that if I want to continue losing and then maintain, as well as be in a good place mentally, this is the lifestyle I must adopt. Once I accepted that, this has been much easier. I remind myself that everybody else has a cross to bear and this just happens to be mine. In a lot of other ways, I am really fortunate so I focus on those things. Mindset is everything. I know that sounds corny, but it’s the truth.


(Murphy Kismet) #11

@Hoteski I get it.

I think that when I eat too many carbs, it affects my mental processes as well. I get angry, irritable, and pull inside myself. The anger scares me only in that it can come on so swiftly and with such fury. I will just start yelling, throwing my arms around (if there’s anything in my hand, it’ll get thrown), and just feeling and acting plain horrible.

Or, I’ll just sit quietly, ignoring people, not wanting to interact with anyone. Not good when I’m at work (retail) and am required to put on the Happy Face for customers. Then it tends to become overly joyful (a too big smile?) and borderline manic, or hypomanic, maybe because I’m forcing the issue, and my mind is like, “Oh! You want to pretend to be happy? Okay then, there ya go!!!” and I get dropped of a cliff into a swirling eddy of hypomania, and the ‘auctioneer’ comes out. Yep, my speech gets super fast, and I start stumbling/slurring words, all to try and quickly fit in and placate the humans around me that “we’re all normal 'round here!”
Think:


and it comes close to my mental state post-carbage. Hoo–hoo-hoo!

Carbs = fat = equals floating? lol

All this to say, I really need to fix my thought processes so that I DON’T go over that cliff (again). And by ‘fix thought processes’ I mean reminding myself that carbs=bad! They are a no-no.

Also, it occured to me last night… Daughter will buy berries and watermelon, and then not eat them, so I’ll eat them, cuz they’re “good food” and I don’t want them to go bad. I began thinking that she’s trying to sabotage me by bringing stuff into the home that a) she forgets about, and b) I LOVE.
So then my second thought was, “Gotta love yourself more than their need to sabotage you.”


(hottie turned hag) #12

THIS was a big shock to me when I realized it.
I had a noticeable decline in MY mental processes (thought process slower, transient confused moments, overall blah-ness -mood not thought process I know-) after getting fat post-menopause and put it down to, well, getting fat and being menopausal.

It was down to being fat for sure but when I stopped carbs, even before I lost much of the weight, those symptoms VANISHED along with migraine.

When I overeat these days which I have only done on nuts and pork rinds since starting almost 2yr ago, the mood and mentation change returns straightaway :hushed: I never ever would have thought this was a thing had I not experienced it.

Interestingly in my case I never, ever had difficulty with carb intake nor weight until menopause. My tolerance for them sharply declined secondary to the endo changes.


(squirrel-kissing paper tamer) #13

I recently intentionally fell a little off the wagon after 9 months and boy did I have a couple of really mentally challenging weeks (hated work, life sucked, what’s the point, etc). I’ve been back to almost induction type foods for a week and feel better than ever. (bipolar here) I know carbs black my moods out, make me lethargic and hopeless, increase anxiety and so not only do I not care about my health, I don’t care about anything. Thankfully there was a mental window open for me to jump out of it and change my behavior.

Remember you’re living your life and he’s living his. I have to remind myself that every physiology is different and this is MY journey. When I stopped comparing what others could and couldn’t do it made it easier to just see my stuff and concentrate on that. (But I also get it, you were venting and that’s cool too.)


(Marianne) #14

We all have that from time to time. This is a great forum to get it off your chest. People here get it. So glad you are feeling better again; that is the point, whatever we are doing.


(Susan) #15

@Hoteski

Marianne is right on the money, we all understand how frustrating our body battles can be at times, and this forum is wonderful for venting, and sharing and celebrating with each other! I am glad that you are feeling better too, good luck with all your Keto goals =).


(Hoteski) #16

Thank. You guys n galls,

This past week has been a real. Struggle. I saw an old. Side to myself that I had worked so hard to control. I’ve had to walk away from conversations in a. Flood of tears, I’ve had to punch my mattress in sheer anger, I’ve had thoughts of self harm. Fleeting thoughts brought on by emotions at that moment. I’ve been horrible. All signs that my bpd is not currently under control.

So yesterday I took my ashwaganda drops, my b and d3 vitamins, magnesium and fish oils. Had roast beef with veg for dinner and went for a long bike ride, half of which I was on the phone to my best friend screaming my head off in the middle of the street. She managed to calm me down, I wasn’t screaming at her I was screaming at my situation.

I have no choice but to sort this out and sort it out quickly, I will not go back to that person again. I was Living in hell and I worked my ass off to get feeling normal.

I know that keeping my blood sugar stable is hugely important for this to happen and that means keto is literally the only diet that suits my body as its the only only one that keeps it stable.

This is just a setback and I’ll be ok. I’ve have dealt with recovery of bpd for long enough to know that.


(squirrel-kissing paper tamer) #17

It sounds like you did all the right things and the point being you did something to feel better. Good for you! I always remind myself that I’ll probably go off the deep end again (that’s part of the issue) but each time I try things that work I get a heartier took kit for dealing with it and I’m much better at coming back to center. I totally agree that the blood sugar highs and lows do me in. I hope you have a better start to this week and it keeps improving.


(Hyperbole- it’s the best thing in the universe! ) #18

I was going to send you a hug emoji, but on my phone it looks like jazz hands… so here are some jazz hands for you. :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:


(Hoteski) #19

Thanks guys n galls your a awesome x