Don't have a choice? Thankfully I do

#1

I saw a friend this weekend, and his health is rapidly declining. He has been a T2 diabetic since I first met him 20 years ago. I did not know much about T2D when I first met him. Over the years I have seen his health decline - an infection in his foot that has lasted for about 5 years, losing eyesight, in general poor overall health.

When I saw him this weekend, I noticed he has put on a lot of weght, his leg/foot is more swollen than I had ever seen it, and he was getting ready to go for surgery to have some kind of device implanted in his arm for dialysis. He said his kidneys are operating at 18% and declining. In his words, he has ‘no choice’ but to have this device implanted, he has ‘no choice’ but to sit back and wait for his kidneys to fail beyond some magic number necessitating dialysis. He kept saying ‘no choice’, ‘no choice’.

When I first discovered that I had T2D, discovered Keto and started listening to Dr Jason Fung, I told my friend about all the wonderful things I had learned. I told him how lots of people were using Ketogenic diets to control diabetes. I told him where to find all of the information. I told him that he does not have to sit back and watch diabetes rob him of his life and well-being. He looked at me like I was crazy. He was doing what his doctor told him, so he was doing everything he could for his health. Then I would see him load up his plate with the mashed potatoes, pasta, and bread, wash it all down with soda and a big old shot of insulin. Later he would wolf down cookies, cake, and ice cream and wash it down with more soda and more pills and insulin.

I was a little angry with him yesterday, and I know I shouldn’t be. I am working on transferring my anger to the doctor that keeps telling him he is doing everything he can, that he has ‘no choice’ but to prepare himself for dialysis, that he has ‘no choice’ in waiting for the inevitable failure of his kidneys.

I know that I do have a choice. I made a choice to dismiss conventional wisdom regarding diabetes and the complications that go with it. I made a choice to nourish my body with foods that will help it heal. I made a choice to take control and make my body a non-diabetes friendly environment.

Sorry for rambling. But I am feeling a little angry and sad this morning. I sit here thinking about all of the wonderful people here in this forum, all of the support, all of the encouragement. I am thankful for Ketofest for strengthening my resolve. I will keep trying to spread the good keto word and hope that I can get through to more people.

(Adam L) #2

Very sad & a poignant reminder of the massive damage T2D does. As someone with T2D I also find this story & many others like it motivating & affirming that at least I am not on the conventional path for dealing with it which seems to only lead to a very bleak future. Thanks for sharing,

(Doug) #3

Excellent post, Jonesy. A sad situation, yes, but a good cautionary tale. Almost all of us really do have choices, despite the profit motives that sometimes work against us, and the inertia in society and in ‘medicine’ as a whole. I’ve got friends and co-workers who have lost parts of their bodies and parts of their lives, all the while rather accepting that it’s a one-way street.

And usually, there is another direction to go.

(KCKO, KCFO đŸ„„) #4

Your friend is the reason most drs. don’t trust patients to do anything but take their meds. So very sad.

Just be glad you have learned what to do to save yourself. Your friend gave up a long time ago and it sounds like he buries his pain in the sweets that are ruining his body. It is his choice. You are not responsible for his choices. Just follow your chosen pathway to better health. Diet and exercise is a better choice than shooting up drugs daily.

KCCO.

(Keto in Katy) #5

I see a similar situation with a family member, although not nearly as dire, but the one thing they seem to have in common is this attitude:

My doctor said so, and that is the final word on the matter. I will not even consider the possibility that my doc could have it wrong.

Sadly, some people simply will not question “authority” and there is no discussion to be had about it.

(Carpe salata!) #6

I have an in law that was diagnosed T1D and after getting up to 80 units insulin, discovered ketogenic diet and taking control. He now is taking 4 units insulin and enjoying life. His cousin who is also diabetic is like your friend. Neuropathy, foot infections, vision issues, doing what the dr says to keep as healthy as possible.

Yeah it’s frustrating, but you can’t make a horse drink water.

(Sophie) #7

I just pull a “Dr. Phil” on them and simply ask, “How’s That Workin For Ya”?
It’s frustrating and sad to watch people hurting themselves and not be able to help them.

(Arlene) #8

I completely agree with you, and I am so grateful to know and understand that I make the decisions for the health of my body. I will not let anyone decide what is best for me. We can acquire knowledge and even get advise from doctors, but it is always our choice what to do with the information.
I know many, many people just like your friend who do not take responsibility for their own health. A few of these lost souls may learn the truth and turn things around for themselves, like you chose to do. Most will stay on the perceived “safe” road of following their medical doctor’s orders
right over the cliff!
I feel your pain and your anger.

(Linda Culbreth) #9

So sad. So true. Repeated about a kilzillion times all the time. So sorry about your friend. Truth is, every adult is only responsible for themselves. And, yes, we all have choices. What doesn’t work is a bunch of expensive, dangerous drugs for a dietary issue, T2D. What doesn’t work is the SAD with high carbs. WHile you are sad, and rightfully so, just know that you are doing what’s better for you than what you were doing. And add another piece of :bacon:

#10

Was it here (or maybe on the Low Carb Forum?) that I read of a woman who donated a kidney to her FIL when he desperately needed one b/c of T2D complications. Post-transplant, he’s still eating the standard T2D recommendations plus medications, doing terribly, and he’s on his way to failing the new kidney (her perfectly good kidney!!!) as well.

He’s not interested in listening to her recommendations, says the doctor knows what to do, and she has to just stand by and watch him (and her lovely kidney) deteriorate.

(Doug) #11

Wow, Madeleine, that would be a :confounded: for sure.

#12

I know
 I can’t imagine

Family dinners must be like intensive Zen training sessions for her :neutral_face:

(Linda Culbreth) #13

That makes me want to cry buckets of tears


#14

Wow
that is very sad. I don’t know if I could be in the same room with that person if I were in the same situation.

(Ren) #15

This is sad to hear, however you can only do so much. A person needs to make realize that they aren’t victim and take control of their lives. It sucks to see people you care about, not fight for themselves.

(Ruth A Rodgers) #16

This is why Tom Naughton’s new children’s book “Fat Head Kids: Stuff About Diet and Health I Wish I Knew When I Was Your Age” is so important. If we can start teaching the children the healthier way to eat perhaps we can prevent diabetes from ever getting a foothold.

(Keto in Katy) #17

Yes! Well said.

I think one underlying element to all this — something that my wife and I try to convey to our kids — is that we need not always defer to so-called “authorities” because we can become our own authority on many important matters. This is due in large part to the revolutionary aspect of the internet and our ability to learn and understand things that we previously did not have easy access to.

(Jim) #18

Sounds like my brother. I have given up worrying about others and focus instead on educating them like you have done. In the end you can’t help some one who doesn’t want to be helped.