Article: "Why I Hope to Die at 75"... food for thought

(Brian) #1

I’ve read similar things before, not usually as involved. And I’ve heard a few lectures that talk about quality of life vs quantity of years.

To be honest, I’m not 100% sure what I think about it. It’s hard to know ahead of time what quality will be like. We can speculate but there’s no way to know. The physical is probably one of the easier aspects to quantify. But what about the emotional? Or maybe the thing that my dad, at 94, almost 95, is going through, loneliness? (Mom died about 1-1/2 years ago.) In my case, I never had any kids so I wonder whether either of the step kinds would even want me around after their mom dies (she’s 10 years older than me). There are some church connections but to be honest, most of my friends are older than I am.

I dunno. It’s something that rolls around the back of my mind from time to time, don’t know if it rolls around yours, too. An honest look from time to time seems like a good idea.

Curious if others may have thoughts along the same lines.

(Jane) #2

The author is 2 years older than me. I do not want to be debilitated in my old age but I can’t imagine setting a specific time frame for not wanting to live past a certain age. I know the whole point of his article was he wasn’t afraid to die… but his fears of losing functionality based on his family experiences came through loud and clear.

(Janelle) #3

My 79 and 81-year-old in-laws moved to a pricey downtown Atlanta apartment to be closer to a large park and the ability to walk to most places. They are going on a long cruise next week and are planning trips to Europe next year. They took the grandkids to London last summer.

He drives Uber (which he is thankfully giving up), she audits university classes for free and they are volunteer ushers at the Fox Theater. I love that they ushered for Joe Bonamassa (a legendary electric guitarist).

So now, they’re old. The have health issues. They’ve done a lot in the last 5 years though. We sometimes wish they would slow down but I guess they’re just packing it all in while they can.

(Justin Jordan) #4

It’s a good example of using a lot of logic and intelligence to address the wrong facts.

None of the debilitating stuff is inherently inevitable. Yeah, there’s bad luck, but if you exercise regularly (and intelligently - it needs to be cardio and resistance, and done in a meaningful way) and eat right, you can be pretty vigorous until you just keel over.

People that really do keep fit into old age tend to have really compressed morbidity - there’s a fast decline and then death. I mean, and he’s an outlier, take Jack LaLanne - he was basically super fit until a month of two before he died.

Some stuff you can’t avoid, if luck falls that way, Most of the really crappy stuff about getting old is a byproduct of a crap diet and not exercising. Seriously, most of it. And 75 is ludicrously young for an end date.

A 75 year old who has taken care of themselves can 100% be as fit and active as a typical 45 year old. I just watched a 91 year old squat 185 pounds and deadlift 200. He’s an outlier, again, but not as much, I suspect, as people think.

Basically, imagine if the author was assuming everything smoked five packs and a day and drank a fifth of whiskey every day, and then assumed the effects of that were normal aging.

(Brian) #5

I hear you all. 75 is pretty young to be giving up.

Dad (94) split several cords of firewood this summer. He doesn’t have a splitter. He has a sledge hammer and some aluminum wedges. Granted, it took him nearly all summer to do it, but he did it. He’s also hauling it into his basement a wheelbarrow at a time and going up and down a set of stairs to feed the woodstove several times a day. At 75, he could outwork me… I was pretty fat and out of shape at the time, I’ve done a lot of improving since going keto.

I feel bad for him. Physically, he’s doing pretty well though I know he’d be doing better if he ate better. He’s high carb and kinda eats whatever. But at 94, who am I to suggest anything other than what he wants to eat? But he’s lonely. He still lives on his own. He sits by his window for hours of the day waiting and watching and hoping that someone will stop in to see him. He drives to the local senior center once a week to hang out with them but I don’t think he gets a lot of satisfaction out of that. And he watches TV. To be honest, I don’t know how much he wants to live. (It’s kinda neat that he still drives but considering that he only does it a couple of times a month, his skills aren’t what they should be.)

And so I ask myself, is there a point when I wouldn’t really want to live anymore even though the body is still going fairly strong? And I don’t know the answer to that question. It depends, on a lot of stuff I just can’t know in advance.

(Omar) #6

for me there is no doubt in my head that the decisions is made.

I will not wait until they make me wear diapers.

(Doug) #7

I’ll be 60 in March. Definitely thinking about retirement and the next few decades. Hard for me to picture life being bad enough that I’d choose to die. Few of us can be sure of how we’ll feel, I think - things can fall apart fairly fast, and almost all of us have a point where “it’s just not worth it,” in my opinion. Thus, it’s going to be quite situational.

The author of that article is 57. I certainly don’t have a crystal ball, but I think some of his family and friends are correct - “They are certain that as I get closer to 75, I will push the desired age back to 80, then 85, maybe even 90.”

(John) #8

Just turned 61. Thinking about my life’s endgame is one of the main motivators for me to do something about my health and weight before it is too late. I don’t want to work up until retirement age, feel like crap, and then drop dead (or worse, have a really bad quality of life due to health issues).

I do have some challenges ahead - it’s just my wife and me. We didn’t have kids, so there is no next generation to take care of dad/grandpa. I am not sure if I would want to continue on alone, if my wife goes before I do.

I can’t predict the future so I figure the best approach for right now is to get in the best physical health I can so that I will be better prepared to deal with whatever comes up.

(KCKO, KCFO 🥥) #9

A good movie on this topic is Youth in Oregon, very thought provoking. Was free with Prime video.

As someone turning 70 in the not to distant future and according to my dr. very healthy, I think 75 sounds young, but if there are major health issues for someone, I could see doing it.

#10

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(Laurie) #11

My vanity tells me that I won’t want to be a wrinkly 95-year-old, but who knows? I was shocked at the first appearance of threadlike broken veins in my ankles in my 40s, but I got used to it. Since then I’ve gotten used to varicose veins and more. (I’m 66.)

I live in a rural area and I don’t have a car; I can’t really leave the house because of my bad knees. I’ve had a visitor five times in the past 3 months; four of those visits were less than half an hour. Many of my friends have died or we’ve fallen out of touch, and I’m estranged from my child. I’m an introvert, and I’m becoming more introverted as years go by, so I don’t mind.

I live day-to-day, and my days are plenty full enough for me. Just getting through the day (self-care, housework, etc.) takes up most of the day; I don’t have time to feel lonely. This might sound pathetic to younger people or to overachievers, but I don’t feel pathetic at all.

I remember when people thought 30 was “old.” My boyfriend is in his 30s. He says I’m healthier than he is (apparently true) and he’ll probably die before me (possible). So worrying about quality of life and all is not necessarily age related.

If I develop cancer, I’ll refuse treatment. But I would have told you the same thing when I was much younger. What does age have to do with a decision like this?

I used to be very intelligent, for all the good it did me. Yes, my faculties are declining, but so what? I’m much happier now. I have no wish to be a mathematician or composer or Nobel Prize winner.

I’ve had to mourn many losses in my life. Not just deaths, but also dreams, ideals, things that gave my life meaning or defined who I was. I don’t think being old can be much worse than what I’ve already been through. Right now, life looks pretty good. As an old age pensioner, I have a higher and more stable income than I did for most of my working life. I don’t anticipate being a burden on anyone.

The author of the article cites lots of statistics. But that’s just it–an age is just a statistic. As individuals, we have no idea what our lives will be like at age 75, or how we’ll feel about it.

(You've tried everything else; why not try bacon?) #12

Not to proselytize, but religious faith does put things in a different light. Believing that this world is not all there is can assist us to be patient with the cards life deals us, good or bad. My mother was ready to go, a couple of years before she actually died. She was neither suicidal nor interested in lingering; she was eager to see what God had in store for her next. My gut tells me that she didn’t need to die when she did, it wasn’t that serious a fall, but that she took advantage and went while she had the chance.

While I understand the author’s point in the article, and while I wouldn’t want to linger in infirmity, it would feel presumptuous to set a specific limit on my life, or to demand to be in good health right up until my death. I would love to see my centenary—as long as I still had the faculties to enjoy it—but all that’s in God’s hands, I figure I’m doing my part by eating keto, and God can decide when he wants me!

(Brian) #13

I believe so, too, Paul. I know many have widely varying beliefs in that regard so didn’t want to purposefully poke at that hornets nest. :wink:

A spiritual context really does add another dimension to the discussion that I don’t think the original article really talked about. But for those who hold such a belief, it may be even more relevant than the physical world.

(Eric - The patient needs to be patient!) #14

I just turned 65 YO and I think about aging more than I did a year ago. I’m doing what I can to engineer my healthspan to be equal to my lifespan less 1 day. Of course, things happen (accidents, etc.).

Wife and I have been going to the gym for the last 5+ years 5 times a week. Recently I have upped the resistance training and gym frequency to 6/week.

I’ve been keto lite for 3 years and now strict keto for 5+ months. Stairs are no longer a problem. Many NSV and some scale victories.

I had 4xbypass at 48 YO. I no longer fear death. I am 3/4 apoe so I fear dementia/AD.

My plan is to:

  • continue keto
  • fast more for weight and autophagy benefits
  • get weight to <200 lbs
  • reduce BP and hopefully get off 1 to 2 meds (on 3)
  • keep my mind active
  • increase social

I love my work as a developer and team manager and do not plan on retiring at least for 2 year and maybe 4.

healthspan == lifepsan - 1 day is the goal.

It’s nice reading all of these responses.

KCKO

(Bacon for the Win) #15

I think the author uses 75 just as an arbitrary age. I get what he’s saying. As an RN, watching people struggle with end of life issues, prolonging the inevitable with treatment which just prolongs sickness, I wish more people had his mindset. We’re not going to live forever. Something is eventually going to take us down. Just how miserable do you want to be at the end of life? Most people have no idea what “end of life” looks like but let me tell you, when we are treating people for illnesses and diseases from which they absolutely will not recover, it is awful. Familes insist we “do everything” with no idea of what that entails, the misery their loved one will go through.

I’m not saying let’s play God and decide who lives and dies. I’m saying let nature take it’s course. Man made interventions often do more harm than good. So while at 75 some people may still be vibrant and healthy, I think the author uses it as an arbitrary number to call attention to how poorly we as a society handle end of life concerns.

(Eric - The patient needs to be patient!) #16

Nelle,

I hear you. I don’t want to drag it on and on and on. I think more people need to hear from people like you long before decisions are needed to be made.

(Janelle) #17

I’ve been thinking about this as other people respond. As I watch the stock market wipe out some of my gains in my 401k retirement account, I’m thinking about how many can’t afford to retire until at least 65 and maybe 67.

Now, barring something else health wise/accident or whatever happening, I did not work my whole life to have a whole 8 years to enjoy the things I have not had time for while working.

I’m an atheist so none of that stuff (that stuff being worried about what happens after) concerns me but I’m selfish. I want some time for me. I hope I get that.

(Eric - The patient needs to be patient!) #18

I hope you get that as well!

(Robert C) #19

I would sure like to see the follow-up interview at 74 years 364 days old.
(I think the level of commitment might waver.)

(Omar) #20

exactly

what I understood is that there will be age when our life quality becomes very low and the question what is our plan before we get there?