I second what several others have stated here regarding your spouse being supportive of this lifestyle. It can sink you or make it very easy to fall back in to the lifestyle you’re transitioning out of. My wife doesn’t do keto or really anything. There’s still sugar cereals, snickers bars and chocolate milk in the fridge. I relapsed 2 weeks into KETO before I was able to jump back on. Keep in mind you will have stressors, emotional, physical, just life in general where you’re going to want to eat those feel good foods. For my wife and I we had a time that we would do ice cream in the park on Sunday afternoons. We still do that I just don’t get the ice cream and it doesn’t bother me watching her. However we had to put that on hold until I was sure I wasn’t going to crave it. That may be possible for you, but only you can decide that as you begin this process. For me I almost moved into a hotel room to get myself squared away, ultimately I stayed in the basement for about a week until keto habits became natural. One other suggestion for me counting carbs vs calories works, some ppl here don’t, some do. I like to analyze things so it works for me. The bottom line is you can do this and as you see a few quick points on the board it will make it easier to remain determined. You’ll find your niche and what works for you. Good luck! And check in with this forum. It has helped me tremendously so many times!
5 more days to keto blast-off
As I said, you are an outlier, good for you. Most people that have had success losing massive amounts of weight need more than sheer ‘will’. They need support, they need motivation, they need to believe that they can do it, and they need to create a fail safe environment.
I think it is a mixture of things. When weight loss is happening I find I am more likely to pass on something that is counter productive vs when it is not happening I can get a “what difference does it make anyway”
I’m the same way. I need to see good results at each weigh-in, that keeps me super focused. However, I don’t have the greatest will power to begin with. I do all the grocery shopping and cooking for my wife and I and make sure not to buy/cook anything that will mess our keto life up.
Her mom tends to send over food/desserts she makes somewhat frequently with one of her sisters, and given that I don’t have the greatest self control when things are so easily available like that, it bothers the crap out of me, especially since she knows we’re not able to eat certain things. Luckily I only messed up 1 time with this months ago, and only a few spoonfuls of something. My wife’s willpower is worse than mine though, and she tends to indulge. Then she gets mad wondering how I’ve lost more than twice what she has lol
I am not sure how well I would do if both my wife and I weren’t doing this together. I suspect not to well.
That’s the point I am trying to make (which I understand could be hard to pick up on over the internet) – sheer will doesn’t do it for most people. Our brains just don’t work that way. It’s easier to use sheer will when we are not tired, not stressed, but because we are human beings sometimes we find ourselves in such frames of mind or levels of exhaustion that we don’t have ‘will’ to access. Think back to how exhausted you were all the time before you came to this way of eating, when your blood sugar was rising and crashing in waves because of insulin resistance you didn’t know you had. How easy was it to access your ‘will’?
So a post saying that you just want to have something badly enough and leave it at that, well, that may have been the poster’s experience, but it’s not an experience shared by most. If our intent is to post things to be helpful for others that come and read the board, I’d rather suggest a book that is going to be helpful rather that have someone think to him or herself, ‘whelp, this isn’t going to work, because I just don’t have the willpower.’
That’s one reason this WOE works so well for me. I have the ability to will most things within my power into existence. I have an extremist personality and I’m either 100%in or 100% apathetic which is why going off of the KETO WOE could also be my detriment. I could easily eat a large Papa J, I’ve seen myself do it before. Fortunately the all or nothing approach to KETO serves my personality well.
I don’t consider myself to be and I’ll tell you why. I have a good friend who has been trying to do keto for the past 2 years, and she’s been failing miserably. She eats off plan every holiday, every friend or family member’s birthday, every special occasion, and nearly every time she goes out on the town with friends. She then brags to everyone that she’s “still on keto” when she hasn’t lost a thing. I keep telling her, she’s not ready for keto. If she were ready, she’d do it right regardless of birthdays and other occasions. It’s not so much willpower, but having a goal and doing what it takes to accomplish that goal. Over the years when I’d try different diets, I’d fail in them all simply because I wasn’t ready to lose weight. I tell everyone I counsel about keto that you have to be ready, because if you aren’t, it’s going to be a struggle, and it shouldn’t be. Nobody should be miserable while on keto or any other WOE. I do understand that it is harder for others, but I do think that after the initial phase where your body is healing from that sugar addiction, it shouldn’t be anymore. You can’t rely on a “fail-safe” environment forever, because what’s going to happen when the individual is out of that environment? You can’t just want weight loss when there’s no junk around, you have to want it even when there’s cake staring you in the face, or when you pass a McDonald’s and are overwhelmed by the smell, or walking through the candy isle at the grocery store. This is why I personally am against the use of artificial sweetners and any types of sugar or starches hidden in foods people claim are keto friendly. It only keeps those cravings alive which is a huge problem that some people don’t see. Completely abstaining from anything sweet, real or not, is a huge factor when breaking that addiction. If there’s one thing that the Atkins diet got right was the induction phase which strips things pretty bare initially for a good reason, and I’m glad that I started out that way.
Is it her will or is she someone who ends up craving something more because of sight and smell? We are all different in terms of what induces cravings and what can cause addiction like behaviors. It might actually require more ‘will’ for her to pass something up than it does you because your cravings aren’t brought on the way hers are because of something’s presence. (see why I say will power is a tricky concept?)
It’s kind of like alcoholism right? I don’t think I have more will than a couple of my friends who are alcoholics. I can have one or two drinks and easily stop. They can’t, so they just don’t drink. They don’t have any alcohol in their homes. I have an entire liquor cabinet and I don’t feel the need to drink every night.
They have no qualms about me drinking around them at all. They have enough control to not feel like they need a drink when others are drinking, but they don’t keep booze in their houses because of moments of weakness.
I am talking about a fail safe environment at home and creating ways to be more successful. It is very easy for me to control what I purchase at the grocery stores or when I go to Costco because I don’t grocery shop when I am hungry, tired or when I am stressed. I am someone with very strong olfactory senses and smells can trigger cravings, so I don’t I don’t go bakeries. I can pass up samples at Costco no problem if I am not hungry. It’s all about getting to know one’s self and figuring out what works.
This discussion about will power made me chuckle.
I’m about 5 weeks in and I started keto overnight. Literally made the decision and started. Really not sure what the catalyst was now, and tbh, I don’t care.
I’ve been on about losing weight for years. I’ve tried several diets in the past, most if which left me hungry from day 1 and so by day 2 I was like, stuff this. I don’t like being hungry, especially as I get hangry very easily.
I have, with counselling, changed my mindset over the years (many, many years), from I want to be fat so people (men) don’t like me, to I need to lose weight but don’t want to, to I want to lose weight but can’t, to I will lose weight just not yet, so I guess starting keto was the last whatever-it-was slotting into place.
I’m a single mum with 2 boys (10 and 8) who are carb monsters. 1 is ASD for sure, the other…well, we’ve just started the ASD assessment process, first paediatric appt in August.
Anyway, when I started keto my 10 year old (definite ASD) got really upset because he thought I was going to make him swap over too.
So, I’m a carbaholic, with carbs in house because I didn’t plan, and because boys want it. I have no back up at home and the boys dad hasn’t even commented on my weight loss (which is par for course).
I went from having no “won’t” power (could never say ‘I won’t have that, thank you’) to being full of ‘will’ power.
I will make this work
I will lose weight
I will be healthier
I will see my boys grow up and (hopefully) be happy
Within days I was saying no to biscuits in a social situation. I’ve eaten out, chosen keto mains as far as possible, and just not worried about pudding. I’ve cooked nuggets, beans and chips and other carb filled meals for boys, and not been tempted. There’s biscuits still in the cupboard that I bought, before I started keto, for me. I bought a bar of Green and Blacks 80% when I first started, half of it is still there. S (the 8 y.o.) has Christmas chocolate in the fridge that I’ve not touched, and I didn’t have a single bite of Easter eggs. All because I will set a good example for my boys.
Considering I would go to shop, pick up a 4 pack of chocolate bars and eat them, one straight after another and I would eat a packet of biscuits a night regularly; that’s a pretty big turn around, all done (pretty easily) with will power.
Have I stuck 100% to keto? No, but i haven’t beaten myself up, i start again at the next meal. Do i have cravings? I certainly did to begin with, and with bread, pasta, jam, chocolate spread etc etc in the house i could easily have given in. Now, not so much with the cravings, but I am also learning how to manage when I do. A little bit of that dark chocolate helps, as does some brie and butter (just reminds body where food is coming from). If I give in to cravings (let my crappy won’t power take over again) so be it, but then I’ll just start back as soon as I can.
I understand that it doesn’t work like this for a lot of people, that others struggle far more than this. However, don’t knock this because for some of us will power is working!
What I wrote was “will power, as most people think of it, is a myth” and then I recommended a very good book, based on clinical research, called “The Willpower Instinct.”
Yes, you are full of resolve at the five week point, I genuinely hope you meet your goals and it all works out for you. A lot of people, over time, find that ‘will’ wanes and they fall off of the wagon. If it does for you, then pick up the book. If it doesn’t, more power to you!
First off, congratulations on giving up the smoking, that is fantastic!! Just take it a day at a time and remember, you’re doing this FOR YOU and you deserve to be healthy and happy. Keep calm and keto on.
I completely agree with you. I’ve had the same experience of people telling me WOWO YOU HAVE GREAT WILL POWER and wanting to smack them LOL The book I read was called The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, and as an addictions counselor, I can tell you that the idea of “willpower” meaning 100% conscious control over everything we do is definitely BS. Congratulations on your weight loss!!! That is really inspiring!!!
Jenni
Yes, yes, yes. I still stress eat and snack when stressed. But always keto now.
The Power of Habit is another great book that I have read and frequently recommend to people (when you drop 110 pounds, strangers in the neighborhood who have been watching me on my daily walks for years stop and ask, “What are you doing??? You look great!”. I credit my success to “The Power of Habit” “The Willpower Instinct” “The Upside of Stress” and “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” I also love “Barking Up the Wrong Tree” All of them have been instrumental in me understanding the role mind plays in all of this. And thanks! I stay on the boards even though I am just about there, because I want to encourage others. It’s a long haul but so worth it. And it feels so good to look like ‘me’ again after so many years.
You gotta do what you gotta do! I have gotten to the point where my go-to is a cup of herbal tea or decaf tea with heavy cream. There is something centering about a hot liquid.
It’s worked great for weight loss for me. It took me from my first stall to my goal weight. LOVE OMAD.
I was reading through all the responses, I think we are all wired differently, so we require different tools. I remember a quote from someone in sobriety once that hit it on the head for me…
Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change