You have more than one type of Stevia in your cupboard.
Everything in the fridge is full fat.
You use your crisper drawers for cheese.
There are five or more types of meat in your grocery cart.
You go through more heavy whipping cream in a week than Starbucks.
You’ve had that nightmare featuring Ronald McDonald doing unspeakable things to Little Debbie. (If you haven’t yet, you will now.)
You no longer know where anything is on the center aisles of the grocery store.
You and the local butcher are on a first name basis.
You can name three different brands of butter and their current price.
You can spell “insulin” and “ketones” without Spellcheck getting involved.
You’ve eaten coconut butter out of the jar with a spoon.
You’ve known the pleasant horror of your pants almost falling down in public.
You have more than one recipe involving cream cheese.
You’ve gone a whole day without wanting or needing to eat. Or two. Or three.
You can tell the different cholesterols apart.
You’re seriously considering purchasing a t-shirt that says “Keep Calm and Keto On” and wearing it through a farmer’s market.
You get super excited whenever bacon goes on sale.
Barbecues are holy days.
You simultaneously push the bread basket away and pull the butter dish closer in restaurants.
You can say “fat bombs” in public with a straight face.
You find out the other guy in the elevator is keto, too, and you high-five a complete stranger.
You find out your date is keto, too, and you fall in love.
You down one drink and realize you’re a cheap date again for the first time since highschool.
You know the difference between Omega 6 and Omega 3.
You know what bone broth is.
You get a lot of exercise rolling your eyes at breaking health reports on the evening news.
You take purse bacon along when trick or treating with your kid.
You call pork rinds “flour.”
You can rattle off five keto-savvy scientists/doctors at the drop of a hat.
You hope Ancel Keys rots in hell.
Ditto John Harvey Kellogg.
You’ve used a slice of bacon like a cracker.
You know where to find the cheapest brie in town.
You gave away your toaster.
You bought a really big, really fancy butter dish.
Everyone knows your friend is vegan but nobody knows you’re keto. Yet.