Ready to Throw in the Towel

(Tove Reiman) #1

I started this Keto journey on August 1 2018, I stopped losing weight in November 2018 after losing anywhere from 50-53 pounds. I have not stopped the Keto lifestyle, I added IF and have been doing that regularly since February. I’ve posted here before and found great encouragement and support. Then I realized no matter what I do, I am still stalled, not in Ketosis according to my blood monitor and my glucose goes up when I am fasting which doesn’t make any sense to me. Now I’m possibly pre-diabetic, on blood pressure medication and still stalled at 185-182. Granted, I’ve lost weight, have’t gained back, and I’ve lost inches, but here I am 6 months later still looking at the same weight on the scale.
I’ve done the macro tracking religiously but lately I stopped because it doesn’t make a difference if I count every morsel of food. I honestly don’t know what to do. I’m ready to quit. I’m just tired of feeling like I’m doing the right thing and getting nothing back from my body.
I stopped posting because I felt like I was just being a complainer and I don’t want to ruin this for anyone else just starting out, but here I am, I’m back because I am just lost and I don’t know what to do next.
Side note: Ready to leave my husband because it’s working for him, He’s down to his pre-marriage weight (we’ve been married 28 years) and everyone raves about his weight loss. I’m a jealous heifer, I can admit it, but it’s hard to live with someone who is having great success with Keto without counting any macros or having to IF everyday. I resent the hell out of him and can barely talk to him about it because I hate the way I feel about it all.
Sorry if this is whiny and has a “poor me” feel to it. I don’t want to be that person. I’m just lost and I don’t want to quit, but honestly I don’t know what else to do.

(Jennibc) #2

You sound like you might be suffering from some hormonal issues. How is your sleep? If you are not getting adequate sleep, you will not be able to drop weight. How are you thinking about stress? If you have too much cortisol pumping through your system with out some oxytocin or DHA to balance it out, you will not lose weight. Have you cut seed oils out? (soybean, corn, cottonseed, canola etc.) They can be obesogenic. What about artificial sweeteners? Some of us just can’t do them while other’s can.

This Ted Talk is worth your time I hope it inspires you to get her book from the library or buy it. It was a game changer for me.

Also, 50 pounds is nothing to sneeze at. You have just hit a snag and you will be able to get through it. And don’t call yourself a heifer! Whether you are kidding or not, the things we tell ourselves really matter in terms of our motivation. Best of luck!

(Ethan) #3

Sometimes we need to make tweaks, and sometimes it works better for others. The goal is health, not weight. I have had more weight loss than my wife, but that’s ok. She is doing great, and I bet your husband thinks the same of you. Maybe you can try a different tweak. Take a look at my weight progress chart and read further for a discussion and maybe it can help:

I only started tracking weight loss after I had lost about 15 pounds already (3 weeks). I was so sad to see numbers like 255 lbs that I didn’t weigh often or on a scale that would track it. When I hit 240, I tracked digitally and with a record. As you can see, my weight loss was pretty quick in 2017 from July (15 pounds) to August and through to March of 2018. Then it just totally stopped. Every time I lost any weight, I would gain it back in the next week. I was frustrated and figured I stopped losing weight. I actually ended up gaining some weight after July and stopped tracking often because I didn’t want to see the numbers. It looks like I lost weight in early 2019, but that is actually fake, since the normal fluctuations just are not shown because I didn’t take records. In March of 2019, though, I eliminated everything except meat, fish, eggs, and butter/ghee. Suddenly, I am losing weight again, and you can see it in the chart.

(Charlotte) #4

What things have you tried to break your stall?

(Robert C) #5

Stuck at a high weight - have you pulled all of the levers:

  • Do you get about 8 hours of sleep each night?
  • Little caffeine - only early morning
  • Zero alcohol
  • Have you tried any eliminations (no nuts for a month, no dairy for a month, no vegetables for a month etc.)?
  • Are you handling stress well (if stuck, this needs to be dialed in - meditation perhaps)?
  • Are you varying intake - some days more and some less to avoid slowing metabolism?
  • Do you eat anything but whole unprocessed foods (if stuck, you shouldn’t)?
  • Do you have any artificial sweeteners (if stuck, you shouldn’t)?

IF is for maintenance - to move the needle with fasting (i.e. guaranteed fat loss), you need to skip entire days of eating (36 hours minimum - for example eat dinner, skip a day of eating anything, eat breakfast). Do that 2 or 3 times a week and fat will fall off.

I certainly hope you rethink this. What would “quit” mean? Eat anything? Eat things your husband cannot eat? Throw away the scale? Get back those 50 pounds?

I hope instead that this post and replies make you double down on Keto (as well as the other levers mentioned above). Those and some days of not eating will just about for sure move things along. If you are diligent about doing the above and you do not start dropping significant weight - I would suggest seeing a doctor about it because, in that case, something may be broken.

I think you should focus on the positives:

  • Losing 50+ pounds is no joke - the lowered stress on your heart as well as your joints must be welcome.
  • You might be pre-diabetic - this is a positive because you have looked upon the Keto handbook and you cannot unsee it now. The other (worse) situation is that you are still 50 pounds heavier and ignorant of a potentially life threatening situation arising in your body.
  • I bet, if you’ve been careful on Keto (especially sticking with whole unprocessed foods), that your blood numbers are good - maybe a detailed blood test will give you some good news (and remind you about something you don’t want to throw away).
  • Just about any other diet would have you back at your original weight (or even higher). Sustaining a 50+ pound weight loss for so long is a real accomplishment.

Totally agree!

(Full Metal Keto) #6

Did you make a mistake about your starting date? 2017…you said you lost for three months and stalled for 6 months afterwards.

A stall doesn’t mean the battle is lost. I have stalled and broken through it and pretty much all of us have too. Tweak the daily food menu, buckle down. Throwing in the towel isn’t going to make things better, as others have said gaining back the weight won’t make you feel better in your body, mind or spirit. You’ve been holding your ground which is better than going backwards and that is something to feel good about. Stay with it and push through the stall. :cowboy_hat_face:

(Mom to kids who eat bacon & butter) #7

When you you say you are not in ketosis according to the meter, what levels are you getting? Under 0.6? Or is it closer to 0.1, 0.2 or lo?

Have you seen this:

Have you had fasting glucose and insulin checked?

I want to encourage you to keep going. Start by not comparing yourself to your husband.

If you don’t mind, would you post some examples of what your day looks like for meals/snacks? Maybe an outside view could help you figure it out. Has there been any change in how clothing fits?

(Tove Reiman) #8

You’re right! I corrected the date. I meant 2018. Thanks for pointing that out because that makes a huge difference. :slight_smile:

(Tove Reiman) #9

Thank you for the reply. I have talked to the dr about pre menopause and hormones and that could be part of my issues. I know 50 lbs is great and I quit smoking and didn’t gain so I keep telling myself that I’ve done great things. I just have a tendency to get “in my head” and struggle with that.
I watched the Ted Talk and found it awesome, brought me to tears. My stress levels bounce around. I’m a corrections officer so my job can go from boring to intense quickly - and I just had an adult child move back home after her engagement ended abruptly so there is that going on. I’m working on my coping skills a lot and trying to do things that make me feel better about myself and my choices.

As for “heifer” lol we raise cattle so that term is normal to me…it’s actually supposed to be humorous and in place of the Bee Word. :smiley:

(Tove Reiman) #10

Thank you for the support. Means a lot to me. You have no idea.
I love this idea and may implement to my world. Again thanks!!!

(Tove Reiman) #11

Tried a beef and butter fast, a cheat weekend, and less nuts so far. I started fasting in Feb and saw two pounds go, then back up 3. Don’t know what that was about. The only thing I can’t do is MCT anything. I tried MCT in my coffee and my heart went wonky. Dr said to stop that so I did. I’ve thought about an egg fast? Not sure if anyone has any experience or advice there.

(Tove Reiman) #12

I took a pic of this with my phone because it’s things I brushed off or didn’t consider and now I will.
My sleep varies. I work 12 hour shifts and my sleep varies there. I aim for 8 usually and only can do it on my days off.
Not sure I can stop caffeine, it’s the only vice i have left. I’ve given up starch, sugar, smoking and I love low carb beer but quit that too recently. I’m a CO and truly coffee keeps me from being one of the inmates (J/K) :smiley:
I use truvia for sweetner, I don’t know that you mean by whole unprocessed foods? I did try to cut out nuts, did a beef and butter fast and that’s about it.

I don’t want to quit. Honestly this is the first time in my life at the ripe old age of 48 that I’ve ever found willpower to do anything. I have a very dear friend and mentor who is dying and his medical issues for the last two years is what really inspired me to do something different with my life. I started at 235 pounds and I’m only 5’2 so that weight was a burden on every part of me. I feel better than I have in years, but just get in my head and beat myself up because I can’t do more and faster.
The support here is overwhelming and fills my heart. I am truly touched by the comments.


This made me giggle.

There is awesome advice here. I just wanted to chime in and say you’ve done AMAZING! Enjoy the win and take one day at a time.

(Scott) #14

I started about the same time as you. As a male I lost about twenty five pounds over three months and have been static since. My wife started very slow but seemed to pick up speed later. I still have about eight pounds to go but I don’t see it as a negative. Where I was gaining I am now maintaining and still have all the keto benefits. For entertainment I try some changes to see what happens. Looking forward to my fist full year on keto and beyond. Keep going forward and see where this takes you.

(William Shafer III) #15

Keep on keeping on Tover3. You’re definitely not alone when it comes to long stalls. Much like EZB I had a big loss the first 6 months (330lbs to 260lbs) but then stalled and gained back 17 pounds late last year. The tweaking is a on-going process. I had to cut my dairy back from 16oz a day to less than 2oz, went carnivore for a month, watch my carbs like a hawk (10-15 net a day), and finally work way into OMAD. Not saying you have to go that extreme, but it takes time. 1 1/2 years in and I’m still 15 - 20 lbs from goal.

You can do it! And we’re all here for you. :grin:

(Robert C) #16

This could be a big part of you current situation.
Coffee raises cortisol - using coffee as a crutch all day will lead to trouble.
Your body is habitually being stressed so, will hold on to (what it perceives as necessary for survival) higher levels of fat than it would if not continually stressed.

Also, having coffee throughout the day might significantly be affecting your sleep. The time it takes to clear half the caffeine from a cup of coffee from your blood is about 6 hours (varies by person). 2 cups of coffee in the mid-afternoon is like drinking one cup of coffee just before bed. I think it takes longer to clear from your blood as you age (that has been my experience anyway).

On that “only vice i have left” comment - be careful of falling into a mental trap (I’ve done it in the past). You get down to having that one vice so, you overdo it “because it is my only one”. I would never suggest stopping coffee - great stuff for many reasons. But, having your last cup within a couple of hours of waking could make a huge difference for you.

Lack of sleep is another stress you don’t need (again, will cause the body to want to hold on to more fat). Fixing caffeine intake will help but, you also have to put yourself first. Whatever or whoever (including yourself) is making you stay awake later than will allow an 8 hour sleep or waking you before you got your 8 hours needs to be shut down immediately. Lack of sleep undermines just about everything anyone tries to do - causes lots of “two steps forward, two steps back”.


Congratulations on losing 50 lbs. That’s amazing!

  1. Sleep is a big factor. It affects insulin, so try to get as much sleep as you can.
  2. Make sure you’re drinking lots of water.
  3. I’m guessing being a CO is a stressful job paired with some fairly regular adrenalin rushes as you respond to things. This will also make a difference, so do what you can to zen out during your off-hours.
  4. At some point calories are going to matter and this is more the case for menopausal and post-menopausal women and smaller women. You’ve got both. It’s not simply a matter of CICO, but many, if not most women with one or the other of these issues find that eventually they need to restrict calories somehow. I think the best approach to this is intermittent fasting (IF). It brings all the benefits of restricting insulin response for long periods of time without the metabolism wrecking of traditional calorie restriction. Technically, you could eat so much on your “feast” days that you don’t end up with an overall deficit, but I think this rarely happens. I eat whatever I want (restricting carbs, of course) and still only end up about 20-25% over what my estimated TDEE is.

You said you’d tried IF, but it wasn’t clear what you meant. Lots of people use the term IF when they mean time-restricted eating (TRE). TRE–eating every day, but restricting your eating to a window of anywhere from 1 to 8 hours (16:8, OMAD, etc.)–is good for maintenance. To lose weight you probably want to fast for at least 42 hours. IDM recommends fasting for at three full days a week, either three 42-hours fasts on alternate days, one three-day fast or something similar. But start small.

Some people are also suggesting limiting dairy, nuts or other foods. For some people, because they don’t otherwise track or find these foods easy to eat in excess, this is just a way to limit calories, though they may not even realize it. Other people do have some food sensitivities and benefit by cutting out one of these foods. If you try this, make sure you’re tracking everything closely so you know if you drop dairy whether it’s the calories that made a difference or a genuine intolerance. Personally, I don’t want to limit foods any more than I already have, because I love variety. For other people, the simplicity of carnivore works better.

(Tove Reiman) #18

I started to track glucose on a monitor when random blood work showed semi high when fasting. My A1C is okay overall, but some days I might run just a little high while fasting. My average right now is just over 100 when fasting. The highest it’s ever been is 123 and I felt that. I plan to see my dr again at the end of the month because I am concerned about why this is happening.
When I check Keto levels it goes from 0.4 to Lo all the time. Never any higher.

It’s so odd bc when i was heavier, I thought did not have medical issues other than aches and pains from carrying around all that weight. My BP was normal and then I got a month into Keto and ended up in the ER bc I thought I was having a heart attack. Now I’m on a BP med and I take an aspirin daily. My blood pressure is much lower in fact I will be able to stop meds by the Fall hopefully according to Dr. I know medical stuff was hiding in all that fat and fluid I was carrying around, but I feel better equipped to handle it now.
And yes, my clothing is different now too. I was almost in a size 40 men’s work pants (my uniform pants) when I started and I just got a size 34 recently.

(traci simpson) #19

Sleep is very important, however some people cannot control or change their sleep issues. Me being one of those people. I would love to sleep solidly for 8 hours or even 5 but I don’t so speaking as if sleeping is an option is wrong iMO.

(Mom to kids who eat bacon & butter) #20

What does your doctor think of keto?

I would take the fact that your clothing is fitting better (smaller sizes) as a win!

Have you tracked your food & macros against what the ketone readings are? Maybe you will be able to see a pattern.